Audi: Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW: Born Moderately Wealthy
Camaro: Can't America Make A Real One?
Chevrolet: Clutch Hangs, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Dodge: Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
FIAT: Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Ford: Failure Of Research & Development
Honda: Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
Hyundai: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
JEEP:Jumps Everything Ever Parked
Mercedes: Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings
Nissan:Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises
Oldsmobile: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
Porsche: Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything
Toyota:Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
Volvo: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
