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Old 16th February 2005, 13:47   #98 (permalink)
normally_crazy
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Location: Mumbai
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ITS SOMETHING ABOUT THE TIME WHEN SADDAM HUSSIAN USED TO RULE OVER IRAQ BEFORE HE WAS CAUGHT BY THE UNCLE SAM.

ONE DAY ONE Mr. GURMUKH RANG HIM UP AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED ............


SADDAM HUSSEIN WAS SITTING IN HIS OFFICE WONDERING WHOM TO INVADE NEXTWHEN IS TELEPHONE RANG.

"HALLO, MR. HUSSEIN!" A HEAVILY ACCENTED VOICE SAID. "THIS IS GURMUKH FROM BANGA, DISTRICT HOSHIARPUR, PUNJAB. I AM RINGING
TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE OFFICIALLY DECLARING WAR ON YOU!"

"WELL, GURMUKH," SADDAM REPLIED, "THIS IS INDEED IMPORTANT NEWS!
HOW BIG IS YOUR ARMY?"

"RIGHT NOW," SAID GURMUKH, AFTER A MOMENT'S CALCULATION, "THERE IS
MYSELF, MY COUSIN SUKHDEV, MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR BHAGAT, AND THE ENTIRE KABADI TEAM FROM THE GURUDWARA. THAT MAKES EIGHT"

SADDAM PAUSED. "I MUST TELL YOU, GURMUKH THAT I HAVE ONE MILLION
MEN IN MY ARMY WAITING TO MOVE ON MY COMMAND."

"BLOODY HELL" SAID GURMUKH. "I'LL HAVE TO RING YOU BACK!"

SURE ENOUGH, THE NEXT DAY, GURMUKH CALLED AGAIN. "MR. HUSSEIN, IT IS GURMUKH, I'M CALLING FROM BANGA STD, THE WAR IS STILL ON! WE HAVE MANAGED TO ACQUIRE SOME INFANTRY EQUIPMENT!"

"AND WHAT EQUIPMENT WOULD THAT BE, GURMUKH?" SADDAM ASKED.

"WELL, WE HAVE TWO COMBINES, A DONKEY AND AMRIK'S TRACTOR."

SADDAM SIGHED. "I MUST TELL YOU, GURMUKH, THAT I HAVE 16,000 TANKS
AND 14,000 ARMOURED PERSONNEL CARRIERS. ALSO, I'VE INCREASED MY ARMY TO 1.5 MILLION SINCE WE LAST SPOKE."

"OH TERI ....." SAID GURMUKH. "I'LL HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU."

SURE ENOUGH, GURMUKH RANG AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. "MR. HUSSEIN, THE WAR IS STILL ON! WE HAVE MANAGED TO GET OURSELVES AIRBORNE. WE'VE MODIFIED AMRIK'S TRACTOR BY ADDING A COUPLE OF SHOTGUNS, STICKING ON SOME WINGS AND THE PIND'S GENERATOR. FOUR BOYS FROM MALPUR HAVE JOINED US AS WELL!"

SADDAM WAS SILENT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN CLEARED HIS THROAT. "I MUST TELL YOU, GURMUKH, THAT I HAVE 10,000 BOMBERS AND 20,000 FIGHTER PLANES.

MY MILITARY COMPLEX IS SURROUNDED BY LASER-GUIDED, SURFACE-TO-AIR
MISSILE SITES. AND SINCE WE LAST SPOKE, I'VE INCREASED MY ARMY TO TWO MILLION!"

"TERI TO..." SAID GURMUK, "I'LL HAVE TO RING YOU BACK."

SURE ENOUGH, GURMUKH CALLED AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. "KIDDAN, MR.
HUSSEIN! I AM SORRY TO TELL YOU THAT WE HAVE HAD TO CALL OFF THE WAR."

"I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT," SAID SADDAM. "WHY THE SUDDEN CHANGE OF
HEART?"

"WELL," SAID GURMUKH, "WE'VE ALL HAD A LONG CHAT OVER A COUPLE OF
BOTTLES, AND DECIDED THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN FEED TWO MILLION PRISONERS."
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