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Old 26th September 2005, 12:01   #1
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Default funny.

You guys must have read stuff like this before but often the best observations come from our foriegn friends when they come visiting.

One cay i picked up a friend from the airport and he remarked "you know Navin why dont your BEST busses have bumpers. It took me a while to notice that the BES busses in Mumabi have their white bumpers painted on.

anyway these are some observations made by an American. These were posted on a different forum and have been copied here. The author of this can be contacted at http://tech-diy.com/

"Rules Of The Road, Indian Style
Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous.

Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English:

ARTICLE I: The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.
ARTICLE II: Indian traffic, like Indian society,is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to:
Cows,
elephants,
heavy trucks,
buses,
official cars,
camels,
light trucks,
buffalo,
jeeps,
ox-carts,
private cars,
motorcycles,
scooters,
auto-rickshaws,
pigs,
pedal rickshaws,
goats,
bicycles (goods-carrying),
handcarts,
bicycles (passenger-carrying),
dogs,
pedestrians.
ARTICLE III: All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim: to slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat. This is the Indian drivers' mantra.
ARTICLE IV: Use of horn (also known as the sonic fender or aural amulet):
Cars:

Short blasts (urgent) indicate supremacy, IE in clearing dogs, rickshaws and pedestrians from path.
Long blasts (desperate) denote supplication, IE to oncoming truck: ``I am going too fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die". In extreme cases this may be accompanied by flashing of headlights (frantic).
Single blast (casual) means: "I have seen someone out of India's 870 million whom I recognise", "There is a bird in the road (which at this speed could go through my windscreen)" or "I have not blown my horn for several minutes."
Trucks and buses: All horn signals have the same meaning, viz: "I have an all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and have no intention of stopping, even if I could." This signal may be emphasised by the use of headlamps. Article IV remains subject to the provision of Order of Precedence in Article II above.

ARTICLE V: All manoeuvres, use of horn and evasive action shall be left until the last possible moment.
ARTICLE VI: In the absence of seat belts (which there is), car occupants shall wear garlands of marigolds. These should be kept fastened at all times.
ARTICLE VII:
Rights of way: Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle.
Lane discipline (VII,1): All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of direction of travel shall occupy the centre of the road.
ARTICLE VIII: Roundabouts: India has no roundabouts. Apparent traffic islands in the middle of crossroads have no traffic management function. Any other impression should be ignored.
ARTICLE IX: Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you. Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as in the face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in the middle of villages/city centres. No more than two inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing -- and one inch in the case of bicycles or pedestrians.
ARTICLE X: Nirvana may be obtained through the head-on crash.
ARTICLE XI: Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.

Last edited by navin : 26th September 2005 at 12:02.
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Old 26th September 2005, 12:38   #2
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haha..that was a good one navin but i remamber reading a similar post(or was it the same one)somewhere on the forum..just look around and ul find..happy hunting..maybe u can merge both the threads..
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Old 26th September 2005, 13:21   #3
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Who are these goras to comment on our great country and it's driving habits?







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Old 26th September 2005, 13:37   #4
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I CANT RESIST THIS:

Dear Moderator

Please post jokes/light hearted humour in the relevant forum/thread. There is an "Official Jokes Thread" for your perusual...

and no offence meant!
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Old 26th September 2005, 14:18   #5
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I will. if only i can figure out how to do this. I did not know we had a jokes thread! thanks for that info.
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Old 26th September 2005, 14:31   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steeroid
Dear Moderator

Please post jokes/light hearted humour in the relevant forum/thread. There is an "Official Jokes Thread" for your persual...
!
haha..good one there stereoid!!!! gosh i too noticed it but was too lazy to post ..sorry navin i couldnt resist it either..wonder how many of us have had the oppurtunity of warning the mods(read as warning from a member in bolds) !!!!
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Old 26th September 2005, 14:31   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steeroid
Dear Moderator

Please post jokes/light hearted humour in the relevant forum/thread. There is an "Official Jokes Thread" for your persual...
!
haha..good one there stereoid!!!! gosh i too noticed it but was too lazy to post ..sorry navin i couldnt resist it either..wonder how many of us have had the oppurtunity of warning the mods(read as warning from a member in bolds at the bottom of the post) !!!!
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Old 26th September 2005, 14:34   #8
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gosh sorry for the double posts mods..pls delete it..hhhmmm here comes the warning from the mods for taking on one(read navin) ..
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Old 26th September 2005, 14:44   #9
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Oh, just realised Navin's status as a moderator. Congrats! Was wondering what steeroid and mclaren were talking about.
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Old 26th September 2005, 14:45   #10
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Yeah have read this before, here's a few places where the sma joke can be found

http://idiot-dog.com/humor/travel-india.html

http://www.asianjoke.com/Indian/rules_of_the_road.htm

http://www.normankoren.com/India_04_2.html

This one is nice with pics :-)

http://www.megsworld.net/archives/2003_11.html
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