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Old 15th September 2008, 23:25   #31
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Jeremy Clarkson says he finds German cars too German, but, he has had many Mercs, and in the M5 review, he's said he's loved every M5 produced. He even bought the E60 M5. Even his "Top 100 Cars" video has the 911 Turbo (996) at placed at No.2 and the M5 is the highest placed saloon at No.10. I don't think he's biased. He just does it to be humorous.
In another episode, he's called Great Britain, "the worst country in the world."
The combo of Clarkson, Hammond and May is the best in the world at the moment.
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Old 16th September 2008, 09:34   #32
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OT Nitpick!!

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Originally Posted by 1100D View Post
He offcourse knows what he is saying! Anyway Britain is indded a nice place to drive around (especially Scotland).
What you refer by "Britain" is actually FOUR sovereign countries - England, Ireland Wales and Scotland, with a common Monarch. That is the law. In practice, things may be different though.

See United Kingdom - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

In legal / political sense, when people to "English" and "English <foo", they are meaning the system in ENGLAND, and exclude Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

Last edited by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR : 16th September 2008 at 09:42.
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Old 16th September 2008, 09:46   #33
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backseatdriver- that is not strictly true. The 4 are not "sovereign" countries. They "are" referred to as countries, but are actually non-sovereign territories. This is because, while some of them do have a parliament (like Scotland), ultimately UK law applies unless specific exceptions are made.
Coming back to the point, I agree that JC just mucks about a lot. He is an entertainer, in the mold of a standup comedian, except his props are cars usually. and english humour is frequently self-deprecating with a HUGE amount of sarcasm. you need to read between the lines usually - the humour is subtle unlike American comedy which I find is much more in your face.
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Old 16th September 2008, 10:07   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR View Post
OT Nitpick!!



What you refer by "Britain" is actually FOUR sovereign countries - England, Ireland Wales and Scotland, with a common Monarch. That is the law. In practice, things may be different though.

See United Kingdom - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

In legal / political sense, when people to "English" and "English <foo", they are meaning the system in ENGLAND, and exclude Ireland, Scotland and Wales.
Great Britain is the main island consisting of England, Wales and Scotland. It is the UK (of GB and NI) that includes Northern Ireland (not Ireland, which is another independent country).
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Old 16th September 2008, 10:20   #35
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JC reviews are very interesting to read. See a small compilation below regarding some of the cars in India.


Quote:
First of all there’s the obvious stuff. The Accent takes 14 seconds to get from rest to 60mph, and I know people who can accelerate faster than that. If you buy this car you will not be able to overtake anything, not even a tractor, or a horse, and that means you’ll have to spend your entire motoring life only going as fast as the slowest person in the world.
The only good thing about the sedentary progress is that you’ll never know what a rotten handler your Accent is. But you will notice the ride, especially when you get the bill from your osteopath for a new spine.
Dynamically, the Accent is possibly the worst new car on the market today. In every single respect every other car on the road goes, stops, steers and rides with more aplomb.
About Reva G-Wiz...
Quote:
First things first. It is very small. And it is even smaller than that when you’re inside. It is so small in fact that anyone over the age of four will find their left knee is jammed behind the windscreen washer switch, causing to it spray the windscreen constantly as you drive along.
Actually, that’s not true. You will only spray the windscreen until you get to a right-hand bend which, no matter how slowly you go, and believe me the G-Wiz goes very slowly indeed, will cause you to slide right across the car until you are sitting in the passenger seat.

In many ways this is better. Because while you can still easily reach and operate all the controls, other road users will assume you’re the passenger, and therefore that the stupid little car is not yours.
Sadly, however, the moment only lasts until you turn left. Because then you’ll slide back behind the wheel and the windscreen washing will start all over again.
Until you brake. Then your knee will shoot forwards into the radio release button, which will pop the fascia on to the floor.

...
Imagine a coal cellar and you have some idea of how well appointed this car is.

And so what about life in the back? Well, there are two seats back there but God has not yet designed a creature that could fit in them, and it’s pretty much the same story in the boot, which is the size of a mouse.

Speed. Well 0-60mph is impossible because it won’t do 60mph. In fact, this is the first car I’ve driven that seems to have no top speed at all. It’s like walking, only less comfortable.

Small wonder this is not classified as a car by the European Union. They call it a quadracycle, which means it can be sold without having to pass the usual safety tests. Pity, because a recent test by Top Gear Magazine found that it was unsafe at pretty much any of its speeds. All two of them.

...You will certainly lose all your friends because to justify your significant £7,000 purchase

Last edited by appuchan : 16th September 2008 at 10:21.
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Old 16th September 2008, 10:50   #36
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Fact is, our roads and driving conditions are pitiable, dangerous and completely unacceptable. I'm least surprised that he found reason to comment on it. Rather than trying to defend the sorry state that we are in w.r.t our roads, lets just accept the fact that his gift of gab has made him a master entertainer. And thats what counts most.
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Old 16th September 2008, 11:00   #37
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Some people make a career out of making fun of other people. JC is an ace at it. And that he does it as a automotive reviewer makes him unique.

As for taking a dig at nationalities, I've always enjoyed Sanjiv Bhaskar mocking the Indian way of doing things. Its all about humour and JC is a riot.
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Old 16th September 2008, 11:10   #38
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JC on VW Passat...sculptured ditchwater...

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If you thought the last Passat was dull to behold, you really ain’t seen nothing yet. This new one is sculptured ditchwater. It looks like it was styled by someone who was either in a big hurry to get the job done or who was having sex at the time. As a result, it is the motoring equivalent of Belgium: something you simply won’t notice.

Apparently the best configuration you can buy is the 140bhp 2 litre turbodiesel allied to the double clutch DSG flappy paddle gearbox. But really, choosing the best from a range like this is like choosing what sort of wallpaper paste you’d most like to eat.
...
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Old 16th September 2008, 11:48   #39
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How can you not love the guy. As opposed to most of TV these days, he makes watching his shows worthwhile.
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Old 16th September 2008, 12:34   #40
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Has anyone seen the "Jeremy for PM" petitions and response from the UK PM's office?

Petition to: Make Jeremy Clarkson Prime Minister. | Number10.gov.uk


YouTube - DowningSt's Channel
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Old 16th September 2008, 12:40   #41
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well said
completely true

Clarkson's typical "upper-class" brit humour involves a lot of self -deprecation while being puckish and pretty wicked at times.
I ve collected every single one of his books apart from watching as many of his shows as possible - his books are as well written as his shows are presented. Great talents that man has - in terms of his presentation skills, superb timing/ ad libbing and his writing skills. I am a total fan of his.

And yes, I agree Brit humour is usually far subtler than the equivalent American. However you do have a fair share of slapstick Britcom/ humour too. (Mr Bean for example!!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by surfatwork View Post
backseatdriver- that is not strictly true. The 4 are not "sovereign" countries. They "are" referred to as countries, but are actually non-sovereign territories. This is because, while some of them do have a parliament (like Scotland), ultimately UK law applies unless specific exceptions are made.
Coming back to the point, I agree that JC just mucks about a lot. He is an entertainer, in the mold of a standup comedian, except his props are cars usually. and english humour is frequently self-deprecating with a HUGE amount of sarcasm. you need to read between the lines usually - the humour is subtle unlike American comedy which I find is much more in your face.

Last edited by shankar.balan : 16th September 2008 at 12:43.
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Old 16th September 2008, 14:29   #42
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Mostly, he has nothing good to say about Americans and their cars, Found this gem on the Top Gear website:-

"So why, you may be wondering, do I own a Ford GT? That's simple. The body is British, the gearbox is British, the steering rack is from an Aston, the chassis was set up by a couple of guys from Lotus, the wheels are German and the brakes are Italian. The power is American, yes, but it's tamed and sophisticated by Europeans. It's a metaphor, in other words, for the perfect world."

Genious.
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Old 16th September 2008, 22:09   #43
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Jeremy Clarkson Top Gear - Quotes

Well here's a bunch of his quotes.
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Old 17th September 2008, 02:05   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aditya View Post
... I don't think he's biased. He just does it to be humorous.
In another episode, he's called Great Britain, "the worst country in the world."
The combo of Clarkson, Hammond and May is the best in the world at the moment.
I completely agree with Aditya. He stole my words.

He finds a M5 one year a 'complete orgasm' however the next year model is 'rubbish'.

He also the same guy who finds the Evo X GS more appealing over the GSR.

They just love to exaggerate and we love to lap it all up.

Here is the PMs reply to the petition -
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Old 7th May 2009, 20:57   #45
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Default Jeremy Clarkson's Best Quotes

1. [On the Enzo Ferrari] “I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.”

2. [On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG] “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

3. “That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.”

4. “Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary... that’s what gets you.”

5. [On the Porsche Cayman S] “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

6. “Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.”

7. [On the Alfa Romeo Brera] “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

8. [On paddle shift automatic gearboxes] “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

9. “The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.”

10. [On the Porsche Boxster] “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.”

11. [On the Enzo Ferrari] “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

12. [On the Ford GT40] “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

13. [On the TVR Tuscan 2] “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

14. [On the TVR Tuscan 2] “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.”

15. [On the Lotus Exige] “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

16. “Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”

17. “The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.”

18. [Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

19. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel] “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.”

20. [On the Corvette Z06] “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

21. [While playing the video game Gran Turismo] “Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography.”

22. “If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.”

23. “There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.”

24. [On Detroit] “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.”

25. [On the Porsche Cayenne] “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

26. “A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”

27. “In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.”

28. “I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.”

29. “The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.”

30. “Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.”

31. “The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.”

32. “I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.”

33. [On cars at a Max Power show) “Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up.”

34. “What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

35. “Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”

36. “Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.”

37. [On the Renault Clio V6] “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

38. “It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.”

39. [On Segways] “They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy.”

40. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] “The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

41. [On the Koenigsegg CCX] “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

42. “If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.”

43. “Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!”

44. “This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!’”

45. “Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... being stabbed?”

46. “I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.”

47. “The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.”

48. “I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”
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