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Old 20th July 2007, 12:33   #1
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Default Jeremy Clarkson against the whole world [compilation]

According to Jeremy Clarkson nobody can make car's as good as the british,no country is like heaven to drive in as britain.


Yeah right where do you find such low congestion charges,such a traffic free highway and yes a car industry which is so healthy that it needs a new owner every damn month.

JC you maybe a good presenter but do you need to downplay the rest and actually insult them even.Be patriotic by all means but please respect the rest as well.

Quote:
America
"In America everyone wants to be a part of the great outdoors. They like the idea of cutting down trees and shooting critters in the spine. Even the most sockless preppy from Georgetown DC is able and willing to slip out of his loafers at a momentís notice and into a hairy shirt for a weekend under canvas in the woods. Whatís more, in America everyone wants to be a factory worker. They seem to find manual labour and engineer boots rather noble. Bruce Springsteen has more money than God but unlike Britainís rock gods, who wear tweed and Armani, he dresses like heís spent all day up a telegraph pole. Only in America could there have been a song called Wichita Lineman. An ode to a man who spends all day long driving around a useless state, in a pick-up truck, looking for broken telephone wires"

************************************************** ******
Australia
"The Australians go to work in shorts and thatís a good enough reason to hate them. Also, they have cookers in their kitchens but choose to cook their prawns in the garden. And the only invention to have come out of Australia, ever, is the rotary washing line"

************************************************** *************
Japan
"Like all cars, it has doors, seats, pedals, a steering wheel and lights at the front and the back. But how can this be, when it comes from a people who are baffled by a spoon? How do they make something so instantly recognisable as ďa carĒ when they canít eat mashed potato without vomiting?

"Once, many years ago at a Daihatsu driving event in Japan, I stuffed a Charade into a bank of earth, tearing off the entire front end and writing it off completely. The man from Daihatsu wasnít bothered, though. When I apologised to him, he said: ďDonít worry, we make one every 23 seconds.Ē There was no sense then, and thereís none now, that Daihatsu makes cars because it loves them. It makes cars to make money. Unfortunately, with the exception of Honda, this is the Japanese way and itís the main reason their cars are so soulless"

"Over the years Honda has tried and tried to give itself a youthful appeal. It has injected its cars with Botox, collagen and testosterone. It has even slotted 190bhp engines under the bonnet of a Civic, but this was like fitting a spoiler to a plastic hip. All it did was increase the speed the old lady was going when she hit the tree"

************************************************** **************
India
"In Pakistan, bandits have been known to kidnap foreigners. In India itís the roads themselves that are the countryís murderers: 164 people die on them each day and a quarter of the worldís bus crashes occur here"


************************************************** *************
Britain
"The fact is that Britain, right now, is a jolly place to live. Tony Blair is going. Everyoneís house is worth a million pounds. And the summer, thanks to a few dedicated souls like me and that chap at Ryanair, is likely to be warm. Thatís why we do the conga at two in the morning: because weíre happy. And thatís why others donít like us: because theyíre jealous"
************************************************
Source:
Jeremy Clarkson Clarkson v the rest of the world review | Driving - Times Online

PS:Sorry for the long post.
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Old 20th July 2007, 12:39   #2
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It has even slotted 190bhp engines under the bonnet of a Civic, but this was like fitting a spoiler to a plastic hip. All it did was increase the speed the old lady was going when she hit the tree
ROFL

i gotta admit, some of that stuff is hilarious. i love that funny guy, though most things he says should not be taken seriously.
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Old 20th July 2007, 13:25   #3
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rahul - its more of that man's gift of the gab that appeals than the actual intent of what he says....so i guess u cant help loving that guy!!
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Old 20th July 2007, 13:59   #4
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Well JC has a funny way of puting things and he can really pull apart with words and expressions any thing he wants to

i remember once he commented on Indian driving " Indians believe in the theory of rebirth and they are not afraid to die. You can see that in the way they drive on the highways"

recently while visiting his neighbours Belgium and Holland he puts across the point that Belgians are the most boring people in the world and the Dutch the kinkiest. It was seriously funny

anyone remember "Shaving Sex"
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Old 20th July 2007, 14:03   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rahul_intlad View Post
According to Jeremy Clarkson nobody can make car's as good as the british,no country is like heaven to drive in as britain.

Yeah right where do you find such low congestion charges,such a traffic free highway and yes a car industry which is so healthy that it needs a new owner every damn month.
This is Hilarious man!
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Old 20th July 2007, 15:13   #6
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Quote:
"....In India itís the roads themselves that are the countryís murderers: 164 people die on them each day and a quarter of the worldís bus crashes occur here"
damn this is aint funny ...its kinda disturbing fact!!
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Old 20th July 2007, 15:26   #7
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oh no, JC does it again.
I don't know why people take him seriously. He just blabbers what comes to his mind. He is a joker, thats all. His mouth is like a persons a*****e on a overdose of laxatives.

P.S: Mods please excuse my language.
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Old 20th July 2007, 15:57   #8
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Well, this is precisely the reason why people watch Jeremy right? He would be just "another car reviewer" without them. Jeremy knows this, as also that his comments have made him the most well-known car show personality world-wide.

Personally, I think he provides great entertainment.
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Old 20th July 2007, 16:12   #9
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Jeremy Clownson at work again ...somehow love this guy
Clarkson whips up a storm at sea | Metro.co.uk
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Old 20th July 2007, 16:17   #10
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Jeremy is an entertainer. He doesn't know much about the technicals of a car. He just reviews it in terms of speed, power and power slides.
In one of his video. He catapults a BMW M5 and destroys it saying it is too german and stuff. But in another video, he puts the same BMW M5 at 10th place in the top 100 cars in the world. And he places the Ferrari 360 at 95th position.
He just doesn't go by the rules as other car journalists do. He is there to entertain and that he will, no matter what. Thats why I love to watch his shows( except for the part where he destroys cars), because its different from other boring car shows.
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Old 20th July 2007, 20:04   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheap_deal View Post
ROFL

i gotta admit, some of that stuff is hilarious. i love that funny guy, though most things he says should not be taken seriously.
100% correct. Laughter is the best medicine and the automobile, the best aphrodisiac!

Last edited by MaserQ : 20th July 2007 at 20:06. Reason: correction
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Old 20th July 2007, 20:14   #12
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He offcourse knows what he is saying! Anyway Britain is indded a nice place to drive around (especially Scotland).
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Old 20th July 2007, 22:15   #13
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The guy knows cars, hence the 'bragging rights'..
Funny stuff!
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Old 20th July 2007, 22:21   #14
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I think to truly appreciate Jeremy, you need to understand Brit-speak. There are layers of undertones and dark humour in everything that is said well.
And nobody laughs more at the English, than the English.

Even the last statement (about Britain), reeks of mild sarcasm and look-I-put-my-hand-over-my-mouth-and-crossed-my-fingers-while-I-said-it humour. Beautiful. I'm a fan.

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 20th July 2007 at 22:23.
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Old 20th July 2007, 23:22   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GTO View Post
Personally, I think he provides great entertainment.

I agree that he's a good entertainer too
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