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Old 23rd September 2009, 17:45   #61
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Originally Posted by GTO View Post
Oh please tell which mag. Anyone? I'll make sure to source it out from the local raddiwala. I just went through this entire thread again and have to admit : I am a Dilip Bam fan.
Actually back in the 90s he was really good. Just the right dose of humour. Nowadays, I see too much Hinglish and SMS/kryptic language. As if he's trying too hard.

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Originally Posted by Sawyer View Post
Nostalgia trips!! IAJ was edited by Gautam Sen?? I still recollect an article comparing the 118NE with the Maruti 1000, which was the drool car of the time.
IAJ during its golden years was Hormazd before he teamed up with AutocarUK to launch ACI. Maybe Sen took over later.

Last edited by Mpower : 23rd September 2009 at 17:48.
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Old 23rd September 2009, 17:57   #62
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back in the 90's...there was a narration by Dilip on his experiences as a Taxi Driver...thats something I can never forget. Totally Hilarious !
Is this the tale where a guy and gal get into his taxi and attempt to make out -- and a policeman hauls them up? I assumed it was fiction. Let me see if I still have the issue lying around.
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Old 23rd September 2009, 19:03   #63
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Is this the tale where a guy and gal get into his taxi and attempt to make out -- and a policeman hauls them up? I assumed it was fiction. Let me see if I still have the issue lying around.
oh yeah....thats the one all right
there was a cartoon illustration on that page that I distinctly remember as well.

...and also his experience of taxiing some drunks around town. If I'm right he had mentioned that he then worked for Tata Motors during day and drove a Taxi at night just because he liked driving

Man, this guy's stories do get etched in memory. Imagine how good he is with words if I have to remember his story almost 19-20 years down the line...and I dont particularly have too good a memory
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Old 23rd September 2009, 19:11   #64
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Boy, that was trip back down my memory lane...I distinctly remember two of his road tests.
1. The Diesel Bullet, and how he took the bike up a hill without a road to check if it had enough torque to climb it
In the same test he mentions, "wherever you get stuck without fuel, you can borrow half a litre of diesel from any truckwalla and no self respecting truckwalla will charge you money for such a small amount of it" Truly nostalgic.
2. He had road tested the new Hero Ranger 5speed(I guess) bike on the streets of Pune and I still remember him doing the "tch tch" Pune ishtyle as he mentioned it.....


Hats off to him....Come back Bam, at least of TBHP...
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Old 23rd September 2009, 20:36   #65
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Oooh, read this thread from page-1, this guy is really funny.
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Old 23rd September 2009, 22:45   #66
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Talking The Talented Mr Bam

I wasn't able to dig out the taxi driver issue, but I did find my tattered copy of the bike buyer's guide by Dilip Bam, BE (Mech) MBA MIE (I) Chartered Engineer AMI Mech E (London) MIIE (USA) and Visiting Professor BITS Pilani. The 100-page book is called "How to Select Your Perfect Two-Wheeler" and it was published in 1990. Mr Bam's style is very robust, opinionated and entertaining at the same time. Like Sidhuisms, there's a strong case to be made for naming his inimitable usages as "Bamisms".

Here are some excerpts from the classic:

On safe riding:
On encountering trucks and tempos on the road you'll probably see the cleaner frantically waving his hand through the left window. This has been going on for the last fifty years and nobody -- no driver, no cleaner and no cop -- knows what the hell it means. Neither do I, unless the cleaner is swatting flies or giving 'tata'.
On selecting a two-wheeler:
If Chetak was good enough for Rana Pratap, it should certainly be good enough for the average householder.

Women may take objection to a sex distinction while selecting a bike. True, women have competed against men in some races and even won some of them. This book is NOT for them.

A bright orange kameez worn with a (say) green churidar may be very becoming on a pretty girl, but the same colour combination would hardly do for a 50-year-old lady. Likewise a five-footer riding a Harley Davidson Electra Glide (1340cc) would remind one of an insect stuck on the windscreen of a Porsche.
On buying a second-hand bike:
The most successful marriage is when you marry the girl next door. You know her background, her caste and creed, her "other" boyfriends, the company she keeps, her performance, her behaviour and so on. So also with a bike. If you know the bike for some time while it is in the ownership of the guy who is selling it to you [blah blah] you know the vehicle.
On dealing with animals on the road:
Buffaloes: These are the stupidest of God's creations. A buffalo's brain weight is the lowest among ALL mammals. Thus when a buffalo is in motion it will NEVER change its mind, simply because it has no mind.

Cats: Crosses roads in a flash. So unless you are superstitious, let it cross first. Even if you ARE superstitious, let it cross first and then let two other vehicles overtake you so that they carry away the bad luck.
From the buyer's guide section:
Hero Majestic Pacer: The old Hero Majestic VIP 240DX has been repainted and renamed 'Pacer'. Let's see if it will change the pace of sales. A wind fairing has been added, maybe to give the impression of a 'ghunghat' on a 'chand-sa-mukhda' (headlamp).

Hero Majestic Panther: If I changed my name to Bruce Lee, wore a kung-fu suit (paint job) and put on a helmet (fairing), could I hope to beat up Dara Singh? They did this to the popular 240DX model and called it Panther. Let's see how many from the market this panther can devour.
Bullet 500: If the 350 is ego, the 500 is ego plus. Though slower and much less powerful than the Yamdoot (RD350) this is more than just a bike -- it is something that has to be owned to be believed. It is not the fastest, nor the most powerful, nor the prettiest, nor the most ergonomic. It is also not many other things. But it is a name. Like Helen of Troy, you've GOT to have her. That's all there is to it. All else be damned.
The Acknowledgments page ends thus: "Finally, I wish to thank God that I am still alive!"

Last edited by Edsel Rulez! : 23rd September 2009 at 22:48. Reason: Corrected typo
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Old 23rd September 2009, 23:07   #67
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Lot of people seem to remember Dilip Bam's review of the Enfield Diesel with the Greaves pumpset engine. And I can understand why. This particular review was filled with characteristic Dilip brand of humor in every alternate line.

Dilip said he tried every possible way to make the bike's fuel average go down to something meaningful for such a heavy bike. In the process, he rode it with 5 people. He said he even rode a long distance with the fuel cap open! And his final conclusion was that no matter what you do, kick the bike and kick the bucket in the process, but you can not just get anything below 60 kmpl!

In the same review Dilip also mentioned that it vibrated so much that after a long drive your spine will tingle the whole night. In the same vein he also said that whenever he took a pillion he asked the pillion rider to grab the tail lamp. After an incredulous look from the pillion he would explain that it is not for the pillion rider's safety but for the safety of the tail lamp which seems to come loose every few kms with all the vibrations and hangs loose.
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Old 24th September 2009, 13:10   #68
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Edsel Rulez! View Post
This has been going on for the last fifty years and nobody -- no driver, no cleaner and no cop -- knows what the hell it means. Neither do I, unless the cleaner is swatting flies or giving 'tata'.
Quote:
The most successful marriage is when you marry the girl next door. You know her background, her caste and creed, her "other" boyfriends, the company she keeps, her performance, her behaviour and so on. So also with a bike. If you know the bike for some time while it is in the ownership of the guy who is selling it to you [blah blah] you know the vehicle.
Quote:
These are the stupidest of God's creations. A buffalo's brain weight is the lowest among ALL mammals. Thus when a buffalo is in motion it will NEVER change its mind, simply because it has no mind.
Quote:
The old Hero Majestic VIP 240DX has been repainted and renamed 'Pacer'. Let's see if it will change the pace of sales.
Quote:
If I changed my name to Bruce Lee, wore a kung-fu suit (paint job) and put on a helmet (fairing), could I hope to beat up Dara Singh? They did this to the popular 240DX model and called it Panther. Let's see how many from the market this panther can devour.
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Originally Posted by Zappo View Post
In the same vein he also said that whenever he took a pillion he asked the pillion rider to grab the tail lamp. After an incredulous look from the pillion he would explain that it is not for the pillion rider's safety but for the safety of the tail lamp which seems to come loose every few kms with all the vibrations and hangs loose.
I am going NUTS in here. STOP! The people around me think I've gone crazy for nearly falling off my chair.

Any of his reviews uploaded anywhere? Cybersteering, indiarcar, the old school websites?
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Old 24th September 2009, 13:42   #69
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Default Found one of his reviews about Bullet Electra

here: http://www.indiabike.com/infobank/bullet_electra.htm
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Old 24th September 2009, 18:11   #70
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Gosh i'm really feeling nostalgic. I remember the good old Car & Bike days. I too am a great Dilip Bam fan. I'd just wait to read his reviews. His brand of casual, everyday humour would make you feel like you were chatting with a friend who had just reviewed a bike. I'd love to read him again .. come back Mr. Bam !

Last edited by revvhed : 24th September 2009 at 18:12.
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Old 24th September 2009, 23:14   #71
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Default Another review from him on TVS Flame

Do check out the comments on Mr. Bam on the link below and its so pleasant knowing we are not the only folks missing his humour.

Motorcyclist At Large: TVS Flame, RTR-Fi review: Link
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Old 24th September 2009, 23:52   #72
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From Flyte Review by Dilip Bam:
Quote:
See the measuring bottle. In actual test, the bottle is not where you see it but it is stuck in the collar of my shirt and tied around my chest with rassi so that petrol does not spill out. Sorry no photo bkoz now I would luuk like a DONKi with load tied under it.
Kinetic-SYM Flyte Article by Dilip Bam
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Old 25th September 2009, 00:12   #73
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I dont understand this . A thread is being created out of person and ppl are getting kicks out of , yet there are not willing to invite him or make member of the forum .
Whats the point of making this thread ? , just to make fun of him ? .
If you ppl really like him and his personality , why not make a formal request to join him to the board ?

PS: I have nothing against board/members/mods.

Last edited by black12rr : 25th September 2009 at 00:15.
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Old 25th September 2009, 00:12   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mpower View Post
IAJ during its golden years was Hormazd before he teamed up with AutocarUK to launch ACI. Maybe Sen took over later.
Actually no, in the mid to late 90's the top dog was Auto India (at least I remember it being from '95-'99) with Gautam Sen at the helm and Hormazd working under him.

Once Gautam left for France after his marriage (IIRC late '98 or early '99) and to work more on his hobby of design Hormazd took over as Chief Editor of Auto India and a few months later launched ACI. ACI just celebrated their 10th anniversary with their September '09 issue.
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Old 25th September 2009, 00:40   #75
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I dont understand this. A thread is being created out of person and ppl are getting kicks out of, yet there are not willing to invite him or make member of the forum. Whats the point of making this thread? just to make fun of him? If you ppl really like him and his personality, why not make a formal request to join him to the board ?
Ever heard of "fan clubs"? These are groups of people who like a particular person, and are mostly non-official in the sense that the object of admiration has little say in the matter. There's a thread devoted to Mr Bean too, who's apparently an auto freak, but I don't suppose any of us will really go to the trouble of inviting him to join this forum.

The fact is that some of us find Mr Bam's style refreshing and funny (though I must say his current semi-literate SMS style puts me off) and hence enjoy sharing some nostalgic moments. It helps if you were an ardent reader of Indian auto magazines in the 80s and 90s. Or at least possess a sense of humour. With neither at hand, I agree this thread may seem pointless.

As to your other doubt, if Mr Bam wants to join the forum, he's free to do so -- a search for his name in Google brings up this thread among the top three hits. Other than that there's little any of us can do to get him in, unless someone knows him personally and extends an invitation. He's probably sick of automobiles by now, for all we know.
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