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Old 4th February 2010, 13:17   #1
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Talking Classification of the species - Eqqus bi wheelera

Ok, this post is the result of a frustrating ride , actually many frustrating rides in mumbai on my bike.

Have you ever felt the absolute helplessness when you are cruising on seemably empty roads and you literally come in contact with a fellow 'Biker' trying to prove that all laws of physics are inconsequential? I Have , and to help other bikers to better predict the hitherto unpredictable species, I have tried to classify them.
Why? - simple to better predict and save yourself from danger. While most might find this a piece in humour, there is definitely an underlying message and an effort to help in riding safely.

The classification ( as the title suggests) refers to Eqqus ( Horse - Power) bi ( two) wheelera ( self explanatory).

To me , there are the following types of bikers roaming the roads -
1. The Family Man
Invariably with the family in tow. Two wheelers are meant to carry 2 people. a fact that these species have conveniently ignored. The father - driving, the mother on the pillion, the first born - wedged between the father and mother, another one on the petrol tank ( invariably wearing a dark glass) and a toddler nestling in the arms of the pillion rider... When i was younger, we would gather around the TV to watch the army perform stunts on the motorcycles by piling on the number of riders. I think, this has affected this species adversely and they have taken it upon themselves to emulate them.
As far as safety goes, this species generally do not post too much of a threat to other bikers, as they are busy balancing their act. Just to be on the safer side- stay away - far away from them.

2. The Pizzass deliveries
I would like to take this opportunity to request a Ban on the 30 minutes of free scheme on pizzas. Truly a death defying act by most members of this species, the bikes are often ill equipped to ride fast. therefore the rider takes it upon himself to travel at a constant speed, even when there is no road or route available. these stuntmen of the biking world truly defy all laws of physics with little or no respect for other people on the road. In fact ,I think that most of these bikes are modified such that they cannot travel in a straight line . The humongous box at the back surely does not help. Stop your bike and let this species go away if you ever encounter them.
.

3. The college crowd / Youth
The most favourite of all those who berate bikers, this species nowadays are found riding 200 - 250 cc engines with little or no involvement from the brakes. Mainly a very good exponent of how to show off on the 2 wheeler, the college kid almost always has a female of the species in tow as pillion. Needless to say, sudden brakes and twists are in order for the obvious reasons. if you perchance, are on the same road as this species, you will in most probability be overtaken ( from the left , right - no one can predict) , it is in your own best interest that you continue riding in a straight line without accelerating or decelerating and making minimal changes to your current driving mode. and yes, pray..

4. The chappal rider.
I have mainly added this to encompass those bikers ( here i use the term biker very very loosely) who use the 2 wheeler as a transport vehicle. The main subset of this species are the carpenters, cloth shop owners, provision store owners and other such fascinating people. They can be identified by 10 feet wooden poles tied to the chassis of a 5 feet long bike, resembling the jousting knights or Yore, or by large blue colour plastic bags strung on the saree guard and/ or the handle bar of the bike. Invariably , they will chappals to enable a better feel to change gears etc and hence the nomenclature of the chappal rider. if you encounter this species, pray that the pole does not impale you , be really careful when coming across this species at the traffic light..

I am sure , i have missed out a few favourites that other riders might have, it would be beneficial to other new riders to increase the range of this classification and help them to ride safely.. Your comments please.
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Old 4th February 2010, 14:47   #2
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That was a hilarious way to pass on the message.

Type 1 are harmful in a way that they are already fighting a losing battle by overloading a splendor/CT100/Crux or any other 100cc bike and trying to balance all that weight. So its better you stay as far away as possible. In case you get closer, they might lose balance and ram into your bike

Type 2 are the Rossi's on CD-Dawn, Honda Eterno, Platina etc who want to extract the maximum speeds that their bikes can do. They even try and extract speeds which the bikes cannot tolerate!! They are very inconsiderate when it comes to rules and following them. Not entirely to be blamed as pointed out by you of the 30 min or free delivery.

Type 4 are the most dangerous due to their wooden poles, huge bags and what not hampering their balance on the bike and also causing a worry to the other riders.

Type 3 are the easiest to handle IMHO. Let them win by overtaking you impressing the female in the backseat and they are out of your way pretty soon.
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Old 4th February 2010, 15:15   #3
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A good observation dear.

Type-1 :- I disagree .
------------------------
A common scene in india. Its very very unsafe. No rule can stop them except in metros. But our country have approximatly 80% lower middle class family. Where car is a laxury for this type of family not a necessity. Very very neglegible % of this type can afford a car. But now a days "NANO" is a hope for them. In my obsrvation they drive in constant speed. Mostly no rough driving. Kindly dont make joke on them.

Type-2 :- Agree
---------
But again...its not the pizzawala..its their "manager". Who deduct their salary if the pizza not deliverd in 30 mins.

Type-3 :- Stongly Agree
------------------------
Keep away from them. Let them overtake and impress their pillion.

Type-4 :-Agree
---------------
Saw many times. They feel like drive a honda or Busa with that load. Keep safe distance.
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Old 4th February 2010, 15:21   #4
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Talking agree ?

Kalinga, thanks for your reply. Please understand that I , for one am not making fun of anyone or their state of their affairs. My observations are purely from the fact that it is ridiculously dangerous to balance 3 , 4, 5 people on a bike that has problems in pulling while carrying 2 people. More than it being dangerous for others, this is more dangerous to the family on the bike.
they absolutely do not ride rough ,how can they , when all their energy is focussed on keeping their balance.
no offence meant and hope none is taken guys.
Abhinav, you know what, i was actually going to write with typical bikes driven by each of the species, but decided not to due to the offence people would take. you are spot on mate.
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Old 4th February 2010, 15:38   #5
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I totally agree with you. I was surely not making fun of them and hope the OP did not as well. It was the writing style which was on a funny note but guess no offense to anyone. If you see my post, it clearly says that its better not to interfere with their balancing act by going too near to them or panicking them. They might lose the balance and fall down or collide with our bike which is not good as he will have his wife and very young kids as well.

PS: A solution for this could be to use Public transport to places with good connectivity. Would be much safer for them as well as the general public IMHO.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KALINGA View Post
A good observation dear.

Type-1 :- I disagree .
------------------------
A common scene in india. Its very very unsafe. No rule can stop them except in metros. But our country have approximatly 80% lower middle class family. Where car is a laxury for this type of family not a necessity. Very very neglegible % of this type can afford a car. But now a days "NANO" is a hope for them. In my obsrvation they drive in constant speed. Mostly no rough driving. Kindly dont make joke on them.
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