Dudhwa Tiger Reserve & National Park

[gd1418]

I must mention here that right upto Shahjahanpur via Moradabad Rampur, Bareilly is NH 24 and in pretty good condition. While at some places it becomes 4 lanes, in most of the section it is single lane with 2 way traffic.

From Shahjahanpur - 28.12.07

Now this is where we got misled. Some dodo at the Pathik restaurant directed us on to the old SH25, which goes via Gola, Lakhimpur… and phew, it was a terrible road. Getting to that road itself was a nightmare – through narrow gullies in Shahjahanpur, with two-way truck traffic! By the time we reached Gola – I could hear plenty rattles in the Scorp.

It was nearly 4pm and we were still nearly 80 kilometres away from Dudhwa. We were worried that they may close the park if darkness fell and we’d probably have to shack up in some seedy Palia hotel.
Somehow, it seemed as if someone upstairs was being kind. For, from Gola the road to Khuttar was smooth – so smooth that I thought I had gone deaf. We covered that 25km distance or so in record time. I assumed that this was the state of the road all the way to Pilibhit, and promptly called AG, to categorically tell the second team, leaving on the 29th to take the Pilibhit road.


While we were approaching Mailana some kid sitting on the roadside chucked a stone at RP's Scorp. Fortunately, it hit the plastic cladding, but he was really mad & screeched to a halt and reversed up to where he had been sitting but he scooted away into the jungle. Idiot! Anyway, no damage done – other than to RP's blood pressure. If it was just bad roads, we would have managed, but those grinning monkeys by the side of the roads were most irritating and to say that this lasted for over 40km… well best left unsaid!

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Around Mailani another “fun” incident happened… How many of you have driven on railway tracks…. yes railway tracks… well beast did as well… since the metaled bridge was being constructed and hence no road… the Bull got onto the rails… and boy did we give the ol’ hooter a run off the rails!!. Crossing the railway bridge into Palia was fun.

We finally got into Dudhwa at 5.15 pm, just as darkness was descending. Getting cellphone signals at the park’s camp office was quite a chore – I had to hold the phone in a particular angle at a particular spot to establish a connection. The forest ranger got our hopes up, saying it was mating season and tigers were moving about in droves. Someone apparently spotted six tigers a day before. But I wonder why it’s always someone else who spotted Stripes.

I finished the formalities and booked in to the forest resthouse at Sathiana, and got ourselves a guide – Ramas Rana – who was to stay with us for the next four days.

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The rest house is about 13km away from the camp office, through a forest trail.

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This was a fantastic drive. It was something straight out of the ‘Blair Witch Project’. We half expected Stripes to be sauntering down the dust-laden road. RP tried keeping some distance from the Bull as was kicking up clouds of dust. But each time he dropped back, I would stop for him to catch up, ensuring that his Scorp was given a complete dust bath.

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After this drive, I expected to drive into a little clearing in the jungle with some log huts and electric fencing. But no, what we drove into, can best be described as a proper two-storey bungalow, with large verandahs and a watchtower terrace, lawn, garden and a porch to park my Scorp! Better still – no electric fencing – so wildlife could happily knock on your door if they so wished. We were told that solar power had just been installed, so now the place had lights! This was getting better by the minute. But wait, ‘running hot water’ had stopped running though, a couple of days before – as the solar water heater was not working. The bathrooms were otherwise really spacious and had regular plumbing, showers and anglo-indian WCs. There were four bedrooms with proper beds, mattresses & pillows and two drawing rooms – one with a fireplace.

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We were then introduced to our resident Jeeves aka Munnilal who welcomed us with open arms… well, not quite. Very soon Mrs GD aka Shanno got Munnilal to stoke up the flames in the kitchen ‘choolah’ and we were served steaming hot cups of tea in nice crockery.

Thereafter, while dinner was being prepared, RP & I grabbed a couple of beers and headed to the terrace to gape at a star-filled sky – a rare sight for us who’ve got used to city life. There was only one cell service working – BSNL Cellone – over which we established contact with the other team.


The conversations that followed – as remembered by AG:

GD: Yeh Jagah Hai? Yeh Koi Jagah Hai? How dare you guys doubt my judgement?

AG: Arre Woh main nahin… woh SS kar raha tha!

RP: Man this place is out of this world, (Thinking) hah! what a bunch of suckers for not coming along with us today.

AG: Woh to theek hai, but is there place to sleep?

GD: Full 2 kitchen 4 bedroom 3 drawing rooms

AG (Thinking): Abe saala jungle mein gaye ho kee hotel mein? Kambal Hai?

RP: Err… Haan Lots of Blankets… Loads of Beds .. no problem just come over…

Dinner was ‘ready to eat’ channa masala and kulchas, after which we hit the sack – it was too cold to have a bath and as for hot water – it would take Munnilal an age to heat up.

Sleep descended immediately, but it seems RP was awakened by the sound of roaring. Wow, was it Stripes? No such luck. That was just snoring from the next room that I occupied, that even had the deer calling out in alarm...he, he. RP said this to me in the morning..How would I know when I was roaring or raring to chase the tiger in dreams..

[gd1418]

No need to get confused. Let me explain. We first zeroed in on Jaisalmer. Since 1 of us had done jaisalmer and 2 of us Jodhpur, there was a bit reluctance. Hence we thought of Ranthambore. So Jaisalmer turned out to be another name for R'bore.

Around that time this ad for Dudhwa appeared in HT. Ranthambore was a much visited place by all and hardly anyone had heard of Dudhwa so we decided to visit this pristine place. So Dudhwa became an alias for R'bore.

Hope this clears the confusion.

On the Vijainagar front, we all Scorpers are in total agreement, with or without another name or an alias...

Originally Posted by ntomer

I am confused sir. Jaisalmer another name for Ranthambore; and Ranthambore alias for Dudhwa !!!


This is Vijainagar toll post, and yes a big pain i a**.

\N

[suman]

Originally Posted by gd1418

it seems RP was awakened by the sound of roaring. Wow, was it Stripes? No such luck. That was just snoring from the next room that I occupied, that even had the deer calling out in alarm...he, he.

Lol GD, ROTFLMAO; you are hilarious man! Excellent travelogue already & I'm going to nominate you for the "No-bell" Peace Prize for Hilarious Literature

[gd1418]

Name, fame and frame travels fast and far...Thank you Sumit.

Originally Posted by SumitB

GD its always a pleasure reading your post and now that I have seen your photos on T-BHP, I can only imagine your face when you must be speaking. I really long for a T-BHP meet. I hope to meet you people someday :P

Eagerly waiting for the rest of the travelogue.

[SumitB]

Haan, suna hai kartoot aur kaarnaamey aag ki tarah failte hai. Rest our news channels take care off :-D

[pjay_in]

Great start.. awaiting the second part.

[gd1418]

Before I start the narration for the IIIrd stage, a little info about Dudhwa National Park -

Lying in the North-Eastern part of UP, this straddles the Indo-Nepal border. From mosaic grasslands and dense sal forests to swampy marshes, the terrain of Dudhwa National Park is as diverse as the wildlife population it harbors. While the northern edge of the Park lies along the Indo-Nepal border, the River Suheli marks the southern boundary.

A Tiger Reserve since 1879, Dudhwa became a National Park in 1977 and adopted the Project Tiger in 1988. Although the Tigers at the Park are numerous, sightings are rare due to the thick forest cover of the area. Besides Tigers, Leopards, Hispid Hares, Swamp Deer (Barasingha) and Rhinos thrive amidst the vegetation.

A metre gauge train line passes right through the middle of the forest and apart from the poachers across the International border is also a means of killing the animals who are caught crossing the tracks.

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Apart from the swamp deer, there are at least 37 species of mammals and 16 species of reptiles. Dudhwa Wildlife Sanctuary is said to have 77 tigers and four leopards. Recently, the hispid hare has also been spotted in the area.

It was here in 1984 that a major rhinoceros rehabilitation project was started since these forests had been the habitat of the rhinoceros 150 years ago. Five rhinos were relocated from Assam but two of the females died due to the strain of transportation. These were replaced in 1985 by four more females from Nepal.

Dudhwa's birds, in particular, are a delight for any avid bird watcher. The marshlands are especially inviting for about 400 species of resident and migratory birds including the Swamp Partridge, Great Slaty Woodpecker, Bengal Florican, plenty of painted storks, sarus cranes, owls, barbets, woodpeckers, minivets and many more. Much of the park’s avian fauna is aquatic in nature, and is found around Dudhwa’s lakes- especially Banke Taal.


Day 2: 29th December:

IInd Party leaves for Dudhwa

Since I cannot really tell much about the journey of the IInd group, reproduced here is what AG mentioned about the trip to Dudhwa:

"Conferenced with SS and AS, that we are all well provisioned for food and the cold… so we decided to head out early as in by 4 am from Gurgaon. Having ganged up with the Wife (Priyanka), Brother (Abhinav) and Albert (Gora Sahib). We all set out with AS scooting off to SS’ place earlier. In tow, we reached SS’ pad to sort out the cars and head out around 4:15 am a full hour before the first lot. The first pit stop was just before Gajraula, where the worlds one an only Multi-Level Loo’s exist… Now why Multi-Storey you think…. Well cause Rani-loos are on the ground floor and the Raja-Loos are on the first… as if to test the male holding capacity to 20 feet above the ground…. go figure!

Anyways, with relief in our bellies we headed to have the morning cuppa at the pit stop. Everyone said they are not hungry and planned to head out of there soon… what happened though was that we gorged on like 20 parathas…. 10 idli vadas… and proved that in all ravenous beasts were headed off to the jungle. We finally started from Gajraula and were halted at a rail crossing at Pilibhit… Now we reckoned SS has 2 women (Smita and Vaishali and Anil in tow)who have entertained him through the drive till now …. what will he do… and suddenly we understood why was headed smoking towards the train.

So we left, tanked up at Pilibhit and moved on to a place called Puranpur on a petrol pump for a quick snack… Now we were hungry and quickly greedily gobbled up what came our way.

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I could have sworn that moment I heard someone shouting … OYE BHOOKHE!!! Given the state of affairs (SS and AG) it was not surprising. Around Mailani too, we called up GD and were promptly told to get some raw supplies which GD causally mentioned as …

Arre THODEE Allooo Gobhi le ana (note the THODEE)…. so as was told so was done, I just bought “some” veggies… and then the women came to know what was being purchased…. the trouble began……

Anil was sent helter skelter to get the Oil and Masala’s and more veggies. SS went where he knew best …. Murga center……. and in tow was Albert to see the Desi way of doing things… now the fun part…. in case none of you have seen the desi way of chomping Murgas… here goes… I did not know we had such voracious meat eaters in our midsts that it would give Tigris a sweet tooth! … too bad the dog was not to go with the chicken, I am sure we would have had a hearty meal for the next 3 days!

I immediately skooted off the scene and do not know how Albert managed to get this for “consumption” but this is what he had to say….. Now it is not that my dutch is rusty… it is as good as Gorbhachev trying to understand Mera Joota Hai Japanee.. But considering the shock in his voice and expressions, what I do know is that he came back and said that after watching this he done with eating meat…. Phew! Another Vegetarian in our midst thought Priyanka and I! But we were naive to think what happens when the chicken appears in front when cooked…. It gets quickly reduced to zilch.

reaching the forest guest house was a story onto itself…. We drove through 10kms of core jungle to get to the rest house..one of my disappointments with the trip is that none of us were able to take a picture of the guest house we were in…. corrections anyone? But it was indescribable… almost a 1 storey bunglow… in between the elephant grass.. there was also a kitchen window which was twined by a wild elephant looking for food. Was exactly how GD had described … however… there was one piece of information missing… Then happened the arrival fiasco…..This is how it went (again liberally modified.. are bhavnao ko samjho….)

Mrs GD: Aa gaye moh utha ke… koi khhaaana nahin hai…

AG (Looking at GD): Yaar aapne bola tha veggie lane ko..

Mrs GD: Itne se kya hoga 4 din katne hain jungle mein…

AG Looks at GD for help… GD is contently looking at the sky…. Some one shouts… it is all because of AG… after his ***..

Mrs. GD: Yahan to Blankets bhi nahin hai…

All Eyes of AG….

AG to RP: You told me there were plenty of blanket…

RP (Looking Blankly): Maine to nahin bola tha….

Again someone shouts… where is AG’s ***… someone kick it…

AG RUNS….

Anil “Kancha” Sharma meanwhile does a lingo jig to get some blankets for all from the locals there… Had it not been for him… at least someone of us would have lost a pinky out of frostbite at night.. given the state of affairs that someone would have been AG (sorry for the third person… but this is actually everyones story..)

Back to the revelry of the night … some one decided that there will be no more drinks for Mr Anil “Kancha” Sharma…. what were we to realize that the drinks were to have effect much much later on the next day…. but we will get to that part later….

Having settled well at night, as SS has well described, we went onto the night hoping that the remaining half lot will get to see some stripes the next day… at least Rhinos!! We settled to a game of - sleep while you fart - since the ladies were bundled to different rooms…. and decided to get up early so as to ensure our elephant safari was not snitched off under out noses…"

The next post contains our adventures of the IIIrd stage.

[gd1418]

29.12.07 - Ist Party's adventures

A cold and foggy morning greeted us safari goers. RP, Shona, Shanno, Gauri, guide Rana and I clambered into RP's 4×4 and headed out into the fog at 7 am.

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Nary a leaf was stirring. It was pretty cold and I was sure all the animals including Stripes would be nicely tucked away at this time in the morning.

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We got to the elephant safari location – about 20 odd Km away across another jungle trail – and only managed to spot some deer and monkeys.

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There we met Chikoo – a tame hog deer, and our rides for the morning, Sundar a veteran pachyderm, and the young Batalik, an 8-year-old “L-board” elphie. Shanno, Gauri, Shona and I climbed aboard Sundar, while GD & guide Rana got on Batalik (he has weight restrictions, and is known to sometimes drop his passengers and scamper off).

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We then headed into the Rhino Zone – the entrance to which looks just like Jurassic Park – huge gate and electric fencing all around. The moment we entered the enclosure and veered of the track into the thick I spotted this huge colourful spider in all its glory

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The fog was still quite thick, but we did manage to see four rhinos in all and spotted deer, but still no Stripes.

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After the elephant safari, we bundled into the Scorp again and headed down the jungle trails in search of Stripes. We saw a croc and many more deer – hog deer, swamp deer (Barasingha) and spotted deer. The drive itself was very entertaining – lovely dirt tracks – which had the Scorp in its element. RP even put it in 4×4 high just to let the tranny exercise itself when we went through some slush.

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We were driving around some grassland when the guide suddenly says STOP! RP stopped and switched off the engine. We could here the alarm calls of deer. We were at a cross- roads, and our guide assured us that Stripes was on the move and may just walk in front of us. Ten minutes we sat in complete silence. The deer, however, went silent too, which meant that Stripes had decided to settle down again.

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We then drove around to a Machaan – and looked out over the grasslands. We saw plenty of birds – the migratory Siberian crane as well – and more deer.

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At the bottom of the Machaan – we saw fresh pugmarks that headed down a slushy trail bordering the grassland.

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I wanted to go down that route – but the guide would have none of it – even though we were in a 4×4. However, he did relent a bit and we drove around to the same trail from the other side and stopped and waited. But no luck with Stripes. For all you know, the bloke would have been sitting 5 feet away in tall grass and gazing at us stupid tourists.

After a few more deer sightings (oh deer, what a boar) we headed back to camp office and then back to the forest rest house by 1 pm. By this time we were ravenous and as Mrs GD and Munnilal stoked the wood in the kitchen, Shona, RP and I went up to the terrace.

More to come.....

[ntomer]

Originally Posted by gd1418

Still nothing is lost. You can write your experiences of that time. Will be a good comparing point with that of mine - as and when it comes...

My trips were nowhere as interesting as yours. It was about 12 years ago, I was studying for my. B.Tech. in Pantnagar. 7 of us took the train from Pantnagar to Mailani (37 KMs from Dudhwa).

The train reached there at about 1:00 AM, we spent the rest of night at the platform (it was scary, like in the horror movies, noone else on the platform ;-). We took a bus from Mailani to Dudhwa in the morning, stayed in some cheap hotel (we were engineering students, perpetually broke) near Dudhwa railway station. We went for 3 safaris, and spotted tigers twice.

The next trip was around Holi holidays and 4 of us went there, this time too we spotted a tiger.

Incidentally those are the only instances when I spotted any predators. After that I had been to Ranthambore, Panna, Bandhavgarh, Corbett and Kanha; but never had found any tiger.

\N

[gd1418]

29.12.2007 - post lunch

Continuing from last where I left yesterday, the interesting tale continues. What happened during lunch is best described by Roshun a.k.a RP since at that precise moment I received a call on my cell and was distracted. I quote:

" Now, here is where I probably think and… I say probably, that we got lucky.

I was looking down the road we had just traveled on, when I saw a whole herd of deer emerge from the grassland and scamper down the road. I told Mrs GD to come take a look at the deer. Meanwhile, Shona calls me to the other side of the terrace and says – “can you see what I see?” And in the grass, about 200 metres from the rest house we saw this large animal slinking through the grass. Now, don’t buy SS’s version that it was a mouse or Munnilal headed to fetch firewood!

But that was all we saw and then this animal simply settled into the elephant grass and was gone. So was it a tiger? Hard to tell. It could have been a leopard. Not enough to call a tiger. Damn.

We had some sandwiches, noodles and kulchas for lunch and then GD, the guide and I got into my Scorp and headed down to camp office to fetch SS, Vaishali, Abhinav, Albert, Priyanka, AG, Anil and Smita. The two Scorps – AG’s Blue and SS’s Vader, nice and clean, had just reached when we got there at about 4.30pm.

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We then led the way back to the rest house – dousing the other two Scorps in virgin dust. The anointment done.

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Welcome to Dudhwa. "

More to come.....

[gd1418]

30.12.2007

Our bookings at Dudhwa were from 28th to 1st.

This was the only day when the entire team, all of 14, were together since the way we came in 2 groups, similarly in 2 groups we left due to professional commitments. My family and I were the only ones who stayed the entire period from 28th evening till 1st morning.

The Head count:

1. Gurudutt, Shanno & Gauri
2. Roshun & Shona
3. Subhashish, Vaishali & Bumpy
4. Anil & Smita
5. Ashish, Priyanka, Anubhav & Albert

Today was the turn of the IInd group to undertake that Elephant safari to Rhinoland. It turned out to be quiet an inetersting and unforgettable day for all of us. Here is the account:

When the IInd party came in last evening and the process of registering at the Camp HQ was going on, I suggested that we should book for the Elephants now itself since only 3 pachyderms were available for the Rhino Safari. When DFO Srivastava was approached for the same he said none would be available tommorrow morning as one beast is reserved for the CGM, BSNL who was visitng the Reserve. That left with only 1 adult male and another 8 yr old brat Batalik. But after a bit of cajoling the DFO agreed and said that if the group is there the next day morning at sharp 7 then he would arrange for one. Now that was the silver lining in the dark..

But now another problem cropped up. 1 & 1/2 elephant meant only 7 people at best could go on it. So who two will opt out? While we were debating as to who will be having the overflowing 'tyaag ki bhavana', out came a chorus from Anil & Smita that they would stay back as they love their sleep very much and would rather Honeymoon. With this settled we all slept.

So in the morning when we got up… the show started… Now I swear I heard someone shout… saallaa bloody scorpio show offs… but no we were not to be let down by dissuasion…. it went on and on and on…. till i heard some one scream… bas karo .. bas karo…. and we finally gave up on it…..

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The IInd group left in two Scorpios - AG's & SS's for Rhinoland.

After two days Gauri and I had hot water baths and so did the others except Anil & Smita who were.... Later around 10 Smita, Mrs. GD & Anil managed some excellant breakfast that we all had enjoying the warm sun on the terrace. As decided before we were to meet the rest of the gang at the Camp HQ around 2 pm and then were to proceed to Nepal that was just 25 kms away from the Reserve. The International Border is called Gauriphanta and after you croos over the border the town of Dhangadi in Nepal lies. That later..

The tale of Elephant Safari in AG's words:

"…. The next morning we got up early, and as described before, once our early morning light and sound show got over. SS and I set off for the elephant safari, now the estimates for “renting” out elephants was that a large elephant can seat no more than 4 people, but there was 7 of us for the safari. The lingo used by the forest officers in Dudhwa was amazing…

They said….

Since VIP movement बहूत है …दो हाथी possible नहीं है…..

… now that put us in a dilemma, How can then 7 people go on a safari?
The question was answered in a queer manner…. We were told…

डेढ़ हाथी (1 and a half) ही मिल सकता है!! Did you read right? डेढ़ हाथी….. can you even imagine what that means? As soon as I started thinking about some weird arrangements being worked out and figuring out who could have sat on Half an elephant I saw these two. Now For a moment, I thought the Calf has had it… we had our own behemoth SS to sit on him …..

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But then we found the battle weary, mast, out of “George of the Jungle” Hathee that went by the name of Battalik. Now the story behind this naughty haughty (sorry could not help it!!) is quite interesting, presumably some wild elephant in the jungle could not hold its primeval urge to fornicate, and one fine day ravaged the stables to pounce on poor unsuspecting Champakali (Female Tamed Tourist Elephant).

The junglee left with the grin on his face, but left Champa ripe with Batallik. He was named Battalik since he was born on the 16th of July 1999, the same day Batalik was won over by the Indian Army during the Kargil assault. Now as RP and SS so adroitly mentioned, this beast was “crazy”, it had knocked a foreigner off and was attempting to stamp on him, he was known to simply throw visiting tourists off his back and scoot off merrily into the jungle, when he was used to ferry visitors for Tiger visits (think he must have been colluding with the Tiger for its meal), he was aptly termed as half an elephant since he was more like a naughty dog. As Bumpy (SS’ younger sibling) put it aptly, Rapist ka beta hai na, isi lie aisa hai!! Lol!

Anyways, we were bundled on Champakali ……The wives along with Albert were bundled along on Battalik along with some moronic Delhiwalla’s wife, who had come with his litter of puppies, did not bother to make any bookings for himself and forced his entire family down the gullet of Batalik, somehow secretly, SS me and the remaining bunch hoped that Batalik would teach this Yuppie Dilli wala some manners. We (and the mahout) ensured that only his 1 of his members could be on “OUR BOOKED” elephant…..

The mahout was a real talkie… while telling us stories of how Bareily-walas chickened out on hearing a tiger roar to how Shatrughan Sinha monkeyed from one side of the elephant to the next on seeing Panthera Tigris in action…. all fun … almost like him reading some story out of a Ruskin Bond.. Jungle tales book. Now I learnt some interesting tones and elephant lingo from the Mahouts…. to move the Elephants forward they use the word which sounds something like .. Mahae-lh! and to make them move closer together to each other they say .. Bhidh (with a chota ee kee matra) so it sounds like …. महेल्ह महेल्ह …. भिड भिड….. So have started using the same on my Beast, whenever it makes an unnecessary sound .

We spotted a mother and a baby Rhino and got some good shots of them. This was a very good alternative than going to Kaziranga and watching the last known kinds of the Indian Rhino…There was a sense of relief and sorrow at the same time… we got to see these wonderful creatures in our lifetime, but would our progeny?

Anyways, given our (Priyanka and my) fate and their (SS and Vaishali’s) luck we knew at the outset that the only Pathera Tigris we will get to see is the one sipping tea next to Winnie the Pooh! So this was more than enough for us.

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So now, after feeding the deer …….. and burping the elephant we headed for our own safari. The guide nonchalantly took us to see the croc, we shooed away some poor migratory bird on the pretext of taking its photographs.. and pretty much headed back out of the park…. The only other memorable site was the Railway track bang in the middle of the forest, for which GD has taken a mind-blowing snap of the tracks disappearing in the mist….

Once we exited the sanctuary, we teamed up with GD, AP and associated families and figured out the next steps…. Since it was the 29th, a holiday and already teaming up with exponentially high number of tourists, we decided it was best not to head out to the jungle, since we did not expect to see anything in the din……

It was then we decided to move to a different kind of jungle….. Now what I am going to describe next is a hilarious journey of 3 scoprios and 14 people…. In case you folks have not noticed, Dudhwa is in the district of Lakhimpur Khiri which shares a long border with Nepal. Now having done quite a bit of our country, we all decided we will head out to International Borders and return as - “Branded NRI’s from Nepal” all with family and cars…. The crossing of Nepal from India is via a place called GaureePhantaa (Go Figure!) and opens to a place called Dhangadee on the Nepalese side. En route GD screeched to a halt and we stalled, there was a wild turtle wandering on the road about to be souped by passing cars…. we saved a wild turtle from first being hustled into Desi Cab to be made soup for night time…

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Desis: Hum bhi local hain…. Hume pata hai iske saath kya karna hai (Pointing towards their open car door)

Scorpio Samaritans: Nahin isse … paas ke pond mein daal dete hain… bechara…

We put the turtle there… thats one good deed for the scorpio group!… and as we were scooting off from there we could have sworn we heard someone (or something) screaming

"Saallaa… it took me 4 days to get to the middle of the road… and these a’holes put me right back where I started from…. a’holes a’holes a’holes…. (as we disappeared from site)"

More to come...

[phamilyman]

wah wah sab. fundooo

[TSEA]

Originally Posted by gd1418

30.12.2007

"Saallaa… it took me 4 days to get to the middle of the road… and these a’holes put me right back where I started from…. a’holes a’holes a’holes…. (as we disappeared from site)"

More to come...

LOL.. very interesting travelogue.. waiting for more..

[gd1418]

Crossover to Nepal - afternoon of 30.12.07

This is what AG had to narrate and exactly in his words:

"One of us (now I do not know who) figured out that the Nepalaese mountains (aka Himalayas) are all but 25km from the border. So the Yeti in all of us jumped out….. and we jumped to the opportunity…. Anil “Kancha” Sharma was already playing the lead role in this fiasco which was about to happen…. Since Indians required no permit to enter Nepal, we were simply asked to display our drivers license for ID and RC as ownership proof for the Beasts the formalities were done quickly…. at this point Anil “Kancha” Sharma (Henceforth refered to as AKS) was all jumpy …

AKS: Arre we entering “Mera Illaka” ab main tum logon ko ghoomaata hoon…. dont worry I am there na… I am with you guys na…. I will take care of everything.. dont worry…

AG/SS/GD/RP: Sahee hai yaar… humare saath to full 2 Neplaee hai… ab Nepal mein bahoot maza Ayega….

What were we to know what AKS meant when he said … Goomaata hoon. Now since, as much as we tried passing Albert as a Kashmiri, the lingo gave way on the border… luckily for us he was carrying his passport, so we quickly got his “Exit” from India stamped…. we were also told that we will need to get the “entry” for him done at the Nepalese Immigration…. So once we were all bundled up in our stingers… we drove over the Bridge across “International Water” .

On the Nepalese side we immediately saw soldiers with AK-47's and LMG’s. We joked and AKS went across to get the paper work done for us.

AG/GD/SS/RP: Sahee hai yaar… AKS to full 2 Nepali Local Hai.. ab to bahoot aaraam se mazaa ayega…

AKS to Custom Guys at Nepal Border in Nepali: Gibberish…. Gibberish… 2 Cars 14 people… Gibberish Gibberish…. Ok good?

AKS to RP/GD/AG/SS: Its all done we are getting in 3 cars for the price for 2…. Dekha mera kamaal?

RP/GD/AG/SS: Yaar too to bahoot sahee hai!! Full 2 Kancha….3 cheers for AKS…..

AG to AKS: Lekin yaar Albert?

AKS to AG: Arre… main hoon na? maine unko bol dia hai… sab ho gaya hai…. No tension, I will take care of all of you… I am Kancha….

Albert to AG: I think we are forgetting something….

AG to AKS: Yaar lekin Albert…….

So once it was settled… we entered Nepal… across International Borders… across the 7 seas far away from our Motherland driving Scorpios with HR/DL number plates….. totally Kyool….. And to know that we have AKS the great in our midst…

AG (Thinking): Yaar Lekin Albert… … … Arre apne saaath Kancha Hai… Sharma Jee se kaun panga lega Nepal mein…. Dekhi Jayegee…. Nepal mein…

So with AKS in RP’s car…SS in mine and GD with family the “Bannered” Scorpio owners cavalcade, we zoomed into Nepal. Now none of us knew where we were and started driving behind RP…. Suddenly RP stops and takes a U turn… we are like… arre what happened?

AKS: There is nothing to eat ahead… we should head towards the market to eat and then head out… we have to reach before the border closes which is around 7 pm…. we will make it…I am there na? Just follow me….

All of us: Ok … AKS knows best!

So we took a perpendicular road… looking for restaurants …. we found on Fancy looking place called…. (forgot its name) parked our cars and took a peak inside… some shady looking maoist characters drinking away to glory…

AKS: There is a place called (forgot its name) nearby let us go there….

AG to Local People: Boss (forgot its name) kahan hai?

Local People: Usse acha to yeh hai!

AKS dissapears for a while and reappears…

AKS: There is another place called Bells Cafe up ahead let us go there….

AG: Do not go by good names… maybe shady too…

AKS: I am there na… let us go!

Everyone OK, so AG took the lead this time.

Now I do not know how it started, but SS and AG began with what was a discussion and how did it progress? …

SS: Pulsar 200 is a solid bike… blah blah blah…

AG: I do not think so 125cc … sorry 150cc blah blah… bad performance
blah blah..

SS: Abe oye! Chapadganjoo… You no zilch about Bikes… and I am an encyclopedia impersonate on bikes… Pulsar is a good bike..

AG: Is not

SS: Are too..

Is Not… are too.. ..

Mine is bigger than yours… No mine is …

IS NOT… ARE TOO ARE TOO….

SS: OH JUST SHUT UP!

AG (Thinking) : Saale ko yahin se Nepali pulsar pe bitha ke wapas bhaga dete hain!

But in lighter vein… I did see the “verbal” side of SS that I have talked about often but experienced only this time..

Suddenly RP honks and blares lights from behind…. in our melee we missed Bells Cafe…

AKS: Are main hoon na? Let us keep heading out we will find something up ahead… We will lead you follow…

All of us: AKS knows best he is our Leader… Humara Leader … Zindabad…

AG (In the back of his mind): Yaar… lekin Albert…. chalo no problem AKS is with us

Suddenly RP takes U turn again…

Everyone thinking (except AKS): Yeh AKS ko kuch pata bhi hai.. yaa…. “Ghooma” Raha hai?

AKS: I know what I am doing… just had a flash of memory from my previous Nepali Birth… there is nothing up ahead… let us go back to Bells Cafe…

Everyone (including AKS): We do not know where we are headed, let us drop the idea of Nepali mountains… eat and boogger off from here….

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To Get a picture of what Bells Cafe is all about note the punch line.. ” When The Bells Ring” also, this is what the Menu Card said (roughly the following but in classier english)..
“Toilet is not inside. It is under the stairs ground floor on your left, only for guests.”
“Outside food not allowed We have the following to eat”

…. I mean… aaaaghh!! We are sitting on the ground floor!!!!

Also, in Bells Cafe we got to see the AKS in his new Avataar… Matire-D of Bells cafe… lost in last birth now found…. for the exclusive pleasure of the scorpio gang..

AKS: What will you all have to drink and eat?

Everyone: Ummm…. Err….

AKS: Arre Wait I know this place like the back of my hand…

Disappears… Appears with a bottle of wine for the ladies…

Ladies: 3 Cheers for AKS

AG(Thinking): Lekin Albert…..

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AKS: Beaming….

People ordered Thukpa, chowmien.. Carlsberg Beer… and the general atmosphere was jovial and humorous.

so we had our fun laffs and jokes… Some snaps at Bells cafe. GD seems to be enjoying his holidays

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AKS settled the bills and we started heading out…

Enroute the women and Mrs.GD especially was kind enough to consider buying supplies to last us 2 more days on the jungle… again AKS used his “contacts” … ran around fetched supplies along with Mrs.GD….

AG (Thinking): We are headed back… what about Albert? AKS is “Kancha” in Nepal but in India he is only AS..I think we are going to make ASses of ourselves….

So we all head back… now we cross the Indian border and the Immigration “Afsar” is out some where for Tea/Brunch and would be back in 30 minutes….and since Albert has to get his passport stamped, let RP/AS move back with their car and arrange for the guide to take us back to the forest rest house since after dark private cars are not allowed in the park….

AS: Yeah Yeah! we will go back and make everything alright….

RP/AS booger off and once they are out of sight we realise that AS has left the food supplies in our car and run away with the booze….
30 minutes later the Afsar arrives, apologizes for the delay…. and sets off to his work verifying Alberts passport

AG (Panic Thinking): What about Albert?…. What about Albert??? AS has boogered off… what will happen now?

Now what happened next some of you may well imagine… and is something not quite approved by legality so it is best left unsaid… but these are its aftermath

AG (In Manoj Kumar Style): Phat Gayeee……..

SS started cooking up some Kaka Meme excuse which was promptly slapped back by the Afsar…

Albert (Thinking in Dutch): Phat Gayee…..

Now folks, without spelling out too much detail… the travails began here.. what transpired next took place till about 10pm at night, across International borders, which were sealed…. inumerous Gandee Galees were shouted out at the Anil “Invisible/Psuedo-Dependable” Sharma….. who boogered off WITHOUT the supplies but WITH the booze…

It is now that GD started heating his “Iron Rod” for Mr. Anil Sharma, off which we heard about earlier….

AG started (mentally) imitating choicest and most painful Kung-Fu moves on the imaginary target that went by the name Anil “Dependable Kancha” Sharma….. Not sure what Albert was thinking, but I remember him telling me something about Austin Powers…. and what can happen in Austin Powers….

But all said and done an adventure is an adventure and we have AS to thank for it!! We GD/AG/SS somehow managed to reach the sanctuary back.. and nearly ran all our cars over AKS…. who (as expected) pleaded ignorance of the matter and tried to brush things under the carpet…. but I think this matter will be taken far into his life… and ours… and possibly, God willing, will be a story for the progeny…..

We had our dinner that night fully content with our adventures… and RP/AG moved on towards Delhi the next day…. Not much to talk about the next day except.. when we woke up in the morning there was ICE on our cars, it had struck 0 degrees Celcius that night.. this is some of what we saw (and there is one more Amazing photos taken by BCG which reflect blue Hues off ice on his beasts roof!! Sirjee kindly make it available for all….!!)

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Return journey was uneventful, apart from the fact that we nearly had a life threatening mishap due to some faulty overtaking and talking too much behind the wheel, all on my part, discussion on Karma and philosophies between Albert, Priyanka and Me… Huge backlog of traffic on Delhi Ghaziabad border all revelers for the new year on the 31st of Dec….

!!NICE HOT SHOWER AFTER 3 DAYS OF MUDDY JUNGLE ADVENTURE!!

My side of the story ends here…. hope who ever is reading it gets a feel of what this Gang of Scorpios has been thru… Looking forward to many more such escapades"

Thus AG's narration ends and the 3rd day at Dudhwa ends.

More to come.....

[austere_sly]

GD uncle mazza aa jata hai aapka travelogue padh kar.