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Old 23rd May 2011, 22:32   #16
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

@cranky- I really wasn't trying to suggest you're being supercilious. Agree with almost everything you say but it's just that I am not so optimistic that this too shall pass! Anyway, as long as there are parents like us around, there is reason to hope.

Interstingly, when we went for one of our routine ultrasounds, the paediatric radiologist exclaimed, "Look she's waving at Papa". The missus insisted I was being fanciful when I mentioned it later but I stick to my story
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Old 23rd May 2011, 22:41   #17
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

noopster, AFAIK child is always she. Technically radiologist didn't reveal anything.
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Old 23rd May 2011, 22:49   #18
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I dont know if anyone here knows but its an established fact that there have been MANY documented cases of haryanvi men heading to kerala to find a bride, than stay unmarried like their elder brothers/male relatives.

863 women/1000 men is horribly unsustainable.
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Old 23rd May 2011, 23:26   #19
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Really sad.

We had been to a leading hospital in Chennai for a check-up for my less than a month old daughter and happened to wait near the delivery theatre/room. The doctor and nurse came out with a just born baby girl and exclaimed in joy to the father, 'lakshmi has come to ur family, it's a girl'. The next statement from the doc to the father shook me, 'ur wife doesn't want to see ur girl's face. Don't u want this child? Shall i take her?'. So much hatred towards a girl baby?! what is wrong with these people?

Surprising fact, during adoption people prefer girl babies. Apparently girls are much more affectionate and I totally )

I sincerely hope the next generation doesn't face dowry, female infanticide and any cast based crap.
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Old 24th May 2011, 00:11   #20
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Quote:
"Look she's waving at Papa"
That's really sweet.

For the record, I'm not a parent. I'm not even halfway there
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Old 29th June 2011, 05:17   #21
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

just as an addition, here's where some more of the girls have gone to:

Baby girls turned into ‘boys’ in sex swap operations | Metro.co.uk

now for £2000 a throw, we aren't really talking poor folk here are we? this is the "educated, middle classes", the engine room of the new india, progress?dreaming of space, whilst still hauling a bullock cart.

I can't even begin to convey my disgust.....
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Old 29th June 2011, 06:50   #22
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Disgusting, and remember these are not uneducated people. I think all daughters bring joy same as a son, i feel privileged being a father of a growing girl.
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Old 29th June 2011, 09:32   #23
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

I have a friend - well not really now.

He works for an MNC in Bangalore, India. Is at quite a top level job.

They had their first child and it is a girl. He "hates" her. He does...

I was shocked and my feet were trembling when he in one to many drinks at a party and while getting back in a car talked about the utter disgust of having a girl instead of a boy.

For a couple of days, I could not come to terms with the fact that a person with a Masters Degree from the top institute in India can be so shallow. I then realized why his wife and child are permanently in their home in Kerala instead of being with him in Bangalore.

It was an eye opening moment. I avoid that person from now on. The malice is not in the villages and towns of North India. Its everywhere.
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Old 29th June 2011, 09:42   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mayankjha1806 View Post
I think all daughters bring joy same as a son, i feel privileged being a father of a growing girl.
I feel you are wrong here, Actually Daughters bring more joy than sons.

The kind of affection and love a daughter shows is not the same with sons.

I am happy to be a father of my Doting Daughter

Its a pity that others feel otherwise and i condemn them.
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Old 29th June 2011, 11:07   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jai-uno-t View Post
Having just become a father myself, to a beautiful baby girl, I found this report quite a bit unsettling.
Great thread! Thanks Jai for sharing the news piece.

Quote:
Originally Posted by noopster View Post
If I teach the women in my family anything, I hope it is this: do NOT be a doormat for a man, any man. Be independent- emotionally and financially- step out into the world, learn and experience everything, and NEVER allow anyone to tell you can't do something "because you're a woman".
Very well said. I am perfectly aligned to this thought. Here in Singapore, we get to know the sex of the baby after a few month’s into pregnancy. We chose not have that revealed, so that the excitement remain intact. Even then, I was quite sure that it will be a girl, and my wife was quite surprised that I search around the internet only for girl names, and shop for pink clothes (at times a few whites – just for that 1% error in judgment). The trouble was, we had to let the gyni know (during every visit) that we don’t want to know the sex, and she will do the scans accordingly

Note: For the subsequent ones, we definitely will know the gender in advance - but just to do the pink clothes shopping with 100% assurance
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Old 29th June 2011, 11:08   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PAVAN KADAM View Post
I feel you are wrong here, Actually Daughters bring more joy than sons.
I agree, just would like to be politically correct. There are friends of mine who don't have daughters and love their sons a lot, don't want to have any hurt/argumentative responses.
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Old 29th June 2011, 11:52   #27
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Even then, I was quite sure that it will be a girl, and my wife was quite surprised that I search around the internet only for girl names, and shop for pink clothes (at times a few whites – just for that 1% error in judgment).
Your comment about the clothes shopping reminded me of our own experience. I went around happily buying pink clothes (including a lovely skirt) in the hope and expectation of a girl child.

When my son was born, my first reaction was one of relief and gratefulness as both kid and mom were hale and hearty. The next reaction was what to do with the pink skirt?! My son ended up wearing all the other pink clothes except the skirt (wifey refused to put it on him), which I have kept very carefully
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Old 29th June 2011, 11:57   #28
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Its the middle class which is on the forefront of the female foeticide. The well heeled educated middle class.
India shining. Kinds of rubs into the face isn't it?
No matter how educated we are deep within we are still the savages.
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Old 29th June 2011, 14:16   #29
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I feel that the problem of female infanticide in India stems not from animalistic and savage tendencies, but from the simple give-and-take relationship that most Indians consider life to be.

From my casual talks with the rural folk of this country, I have deduced that most Indians have inherited a legacy of Draconian thought processes from a century ago. These include:

1. A son is a short-term asset (just like a bull is considered an asset), one who can help with the hard work in the fields (unlike his female sibling).

Some people even went to the extent of saying that having one son meant one less bull to buy for the fields!

The basic understanding was, you save one labourer's wages for every son born. Therefore, the more the better!

2. A son is a long-term asset, he will take care of his parents in their old age. The female offspring will have to marry and go away someday, and hence the parents cannot depend on her, leave alone her husband, for support in old age.

Most parents regard sons as long-term investments, they invest money in their upbringing and education till they grow up and begin earning, by which time the parents themselves are old enough and in need of financial/medical/emotional support themselves. Then it's payback time for the son. He becomes the crutch that they need so desperately.

3. A son is the torch-bearer of the family, he carries forward the "family name". He need not change his surname after marriage, unlike his female sibling. Not to mention, he also becomes the inheritor and custodian of the family fortune, thereby ensuring it doesn't fall into others' hands (read son-in-law who has a different surname, which would mean the family "lost" their fortune to another family).

The female sibling, on the other hand, was forced to forfeit all claims to the family fortune after marriage (I believe this was even endorsed by our great Indian archaic laws, though I am not aware of the situation today).

4. Now, if the son was considered an "asset" in all respects, the daughter automatically came to be considered a "liability", for no fault of hers. And therefore, the ugly demon of "dowry" raised its ugly head. The common refrain was:

"If you want my son to support your daughter all her life (read ~take on your liability~), you must pay him for it."

A perfect case of "trading liabilities".

Fast-forward a hundred years into the cities. Perhaps barring point #1 above, the rest still sadly hold true. In fact, these maladies have now entrenched themselves so deeply in the collective Indian society's psyche, that it has become near impossible to uproot and throw them away. That our pathetic excuse of a government conveniently looks the other way while it's members tacitly engage in, and encourage these inhuman practices, only makes things easier for the rest.

The need of the hour is to change these lop-sided thought processes and practices which are furthering gender inequality in society. Only then will we begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Going by the current rate of change, I don't think even 50 years is enough time. For that, we will need something very drastic, like the death penalty for all those indulging in, or abetting, female infanticide.

- Bullitt
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Old 29th June 2011, 14:23   #30
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I am not a parent (yet) or even married (yet) or even plan to (yet) , but I do pray and hope that when I do, we should be blessed with a little baby girl. From my little nephews and nieces , I am always a bit partial towards the girls.
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