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Old 29th June 2011, 14:44   #31
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It is indeed a matter of shame unto us Indians on the skewed up gender ratio in this nation.

I work for the advanced technology segment of chip design. Most of the engineers are from top of the line engineering colleges (I will refrain from using names to avoid any controversies). However, when it comes to treating women with due respect, they fail big time.

Most of them are very civilised towards me because of the nature of my position. However, on company outings and picnics where families are welcome, the scene is very different. Not all, but many are "nasty" in their attitudes towards their wives. Some completely ignore their daughters.

One of them refused to distribute sweets within the organisation (as is customary) when a 2nd daughter was born. Yet another one used to invite all of us only to his son's birthday and not his daughter's. The daughter recently appeared for her 12th Boards securing a neat 96%, getting her an admission to one of the best colleges in Delhi. The son gave his boards year before last with a compartment. Call this eternal justice.

Another gentleman used to accidentally lose daughters to death as the newborns slept, with no remorse on his part. After three such cases, a son was born and he managed to dodge the death trap, somehow. Most of us could put two and two together, sad!!

Shows how much females are respected in this nation.

It is heartening to see you gentlemen so much in love with your daughters. Keep it up

Last edited by Sugeeta : 29th June 2011 at 14:51.
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Old 29th June 2011, 15:00   #32
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On a slightly humorous take, when I was getting married and the alliance was being setup.
My future father in law, asked my dad about dowry.

My father did not even bat an eyelid as he replied. Take my son as he is, I am not giving you even one paisa for him.
Everyone took a moment to get the joke. But when they did, the laughter was worth it.
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Old 29th June 2011, 15:03   #33
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@Sugeeta- that is indeed tragic. Thankfully have not had to hobnob with the likes of such barbarians myself. But they certainly exist in our midst, part of the great Indian success story: rich, educated, "liberal"...and yet they behave like this when it comes to a female child. It's beyond belief.

I used to think education was the panacea. Then I landed up in one of the nation's premium educational institutes and experienced a person (am sure there were others) who was lamenting the fact that since he wasn't studying to be a doctor, the amount of dowry he could command would take a big hit. Thought he was joking, let it pass. One of our juniors was from the same city and community as this dude and we would tease him about it. In all seriousness, one day he replied, "Not interested. I know her father- he will not pay dowry". Needless to say, we heckled him out of the room and didn't invite him to any more parties. I refuse to even add him on Facebook these days .

The biggest grouse I have with Hinduism (or whatever passes off for it in the contemporary milieu) is that there is no respect for life. Indians these days have taken to blithely quoting the Bhagwad Gita to justify all kinds of inhuman acts. Am sure the man who snuffs out his babies in their sleep rests peacefully, thinking it is karma or some other such codswallop. Unethical doctors running sex-determination clinics ruthlessly abort female foetuses despite the government crying hoarse that it is illegal. In a country where the law is treated as a minor inconvenience at most times, is this really surprising?

Edit: @bblost- that was hilarious. I pity the foo' who asks me dowry for my daughter, when the day comes. Will probably reply on similar lines as your dad, "Yeah actually I should take a lot, but I don't need the money" or some such!

Last edited by noopster : 29th June 2011 at 15:05.
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Old 29th June 2011, 15:03   #34
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Originally Posted by SX4LOVER View Post
Who wouldnt want a daughter? When my better half was on family way, I "knew" we were going to have a daughter. She still suspects I asked the Doc, though we decided not to (and i did not, i just knew). DAUGHTERS ARE GREAT!!
SX4LOVER; your baby girl is simply ADORABLE !!

Took me back to the time when my daughter was an infant, 20 years ago. I have two younger sons, but no points for guessing that it is the daughter who gets the most preferential treatment.

I appear very frequently at some of the premier educational institutions as guest faculty. I always make it a point to embed some value based talks into my schedules. On the home front, it has been made very clear to the boys in the house how they are supposed to behave with women & girls.

@bblost; that was a funny situation !! Thanks you made my day.

Last edited by Sugeeta : 29th June 2011 at 15:13.
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Old 29th June 2011, 15:11   #35
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Guys count me in... I was blessed with a beautiful daughter on 2nd April '11, I feel she is really for our country - for she was born on the same day that India lifted the world cup. My wife always felt that it was a baby boy but my dad some how always seemed to be sure that it was a girl. When she was delivered & I saw those beautiful eyes I instantly feel head over heals in love with her. She is the best thing that has happened to me!!!
The biggest problem in India is misuse of technology in every possible manner. Sonography which is supposed to save lives, is misused to know the sex & kill it. What astonishes me more is the greed of certain doctors who accept a hefty fee & reveal the sex.
P.S. I named my daughter Shanaya, meaning Gift of God. She truly is the bets gift in my family.
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Old 29th June 2011, 15:40   #36
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Heys guys,

I came across this news in DNA newspaper (Mumbai Edition), may be last week. The news that Indore is fastly becoming hub for SEX change operations. The city doctors must have performed (read: transformed) atleast 100-150 infant girls to boys. The news in paper claimed that after transformation...the newly 'produced' will have all 'features' of BOY and there will be no signs of any feminism.

Wait...story does not end here....Medical experts have voiced diff opinions.

Printed in todays DNA edition...'BOYS ARE BOYS, GIRLS ARE GIRLS'

Read this link....DNA E-Paper - Daily News & Analysis -Mumbai,Pune, Ahmedabad, Jaipur, India



PS: I dont know if this , but though of sharing this you...!!!!
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Old 29th June 2011, 16:05   #37
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The biggest grouse I have with Hinduism (or whatever passes off for it in the contemporary milieu) is that there is no respect for life. Indians these days have taken to blithely quoting the Bhagwad Gita to justify all kinds of inhuman acts. Am sure the man who snuffs out his babies in their sleep rests peacefully, thinking it is karma or some other such codswallop.
Would it not be more humane to let the child fend for itself at one of the many orphanages, than end its life? At least the poor child would have an opportunity at a good life in a home which loves her for what she is.

@noopster, unfortunately there were some in my family who were disappointed that I 'missed the dowry' when I married (sort of like an opportunity loss) and didnt fail to tell me. needless to say, I didnt stay in touch with them later. Unfortunately, most of my cousins have been married off with fat dowries. In most cases, it has been a case of "given to the daughter" so will "take more for the son"

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When she was delivered & I saw those beautiful eyes I instantly feel head over heals in love with her. She is the best thing that has happened to me!!!
P.S. I named my daughter Shanaya, meaning Gift of God. She truly is the bets gift in my family.
Hearty congratulations maverick1977; I am so glad for you! I wish you and your family well. I loved the name you have chosen, has a musical ring to it

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I appear very frequently at some of the premier educational institutions as guest faculty. I always make it a point to embed some value based talks into my schedules. On the home front, it has been made very clear to the boys in the house how they are supposed to behave with women & girls.
@Sugeeta, that is something which is very essential these days. Unless we respect our womenfolk, we are not going to respect anyone else not even ourselves. I remember being taken to task by my granny when I spoke mildly loud with a neighbouring girl. I must have been 6 or 7 at the time, but the lesson has been learnt and implemented well.
Unfortunately, it seems that the lesson is not being passed on so well these days. Everyone claims to be too busy to do that, but is not too busy when it comes to other things like social networking!
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Old 29th June 2011, 17:29   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maverick1977 View Post
Guys count me in... I was blessed with a beautiful daughter on 2nd April '11, I feel she is really for our country - for she was born on the same day that India lifted the world cup. My wife always felt that it was a baby boy but my dad some how always seemed to be sure that it was a girl. When she was delivered & I saw those beautiful eyes I instantly feel head over heals in love with her. She is the best thing that has happened to me!!!
..

P.S. I named my daughter Shanaya, meaning Gift of God. She truly is the bets gift in my family.
Almost on similar lines. I always wanted a baby girl and my wife was convinced that it was a boy during her pregnancy. I was doing a decent job in kolkata with not so decent salary . The day I came to know my wife was pregnant was also the day I landed not one but 2 jobs paying good salary in Bangalore!! She was born on 29th April 2011, hence a Taurean just like me. It was decided that if the kid was a girl she would be named Anushka( On afterthought, it would be difficult to find names if it would have been a boy ). I beleive she brings immense luck to me and in any case, she brings a smile to my face whenever I see her.

PS: We named her Anushka which has many meanings in many languages:
Hindi: The shower of flowers /beauty with grace/ first flower of a plant.
Russian: Flower/ youngest one/ light/ fulfilment of desire
Israeli: Favored one.
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Old 29th June 2011, 18:24   #39
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Folks... Do take a look at the below link

Bachchans desperate for male heir, hints actress - Rediff.com Movies

Cant say about the credibility, but such mentality still exists across all classes of people in the country.
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Old 29th June 2011, 19:03   #40
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Many of us who take a deep interest in evolution of society would have observed that girls are simply slogging it out to prove that they do not want to be treated as second grade citizens. Today we see more women as compared to the past in new spaces like automobile engineering, shop floor management, structural design, onsite RF optimisation, civil engineering, space research etc. These girls are making their families and the nation proud on their way to economic independence. What is commendable is that most girls come out from difficult situations to prove themselves - undernourished, depraved, denied proper food, clothing, living conditions; not to mention undignified treatment in the hands of their own families.

I personally do not subscribe to reservation of any kind; be it based on caste, creed or gender. However, it would do the society a lot of good if the parents of all girls provide their daughters equal opportunities at home.

But as a nation, we seem to be caught up in a time warp. Educated people consider it inauspicious to welcome a girl child in the family. This behaviour can only be called cruel.

Thankfully, some people are breaking away from these shackles. Hope things are better for girls in the times to come.

When my daughter was born, we wanted to have a small function in our house, a havan. Very eager to invite people over, my husband and I started calling up various relatives, neighbours etc. To our horror, many people were crazy enough to inform us that such celebrations are only applicable on the birth of a boy. Nontheless, we did have our function and enjoyed with our new baby.

As for the mad folks in Indore, check out medical science - You cannot completely alter a nature's creation. What about the effect these operations are having on the psyche of the little girls? Crazy parents can watch out for more complications with passage of time. Crazier are the doctors who encourage these procedures to earn a few fast bucks. I can only think of one word...sick!!

The skewed gender ratios in Haryana are forcing young men to look outside as far as West Bengal and Kerala for suitable brides. Even then, a lot many are forced to remain unmarried. But we still continue to kill unborn girls!!

@selfdrive; when your granny checked you for being rude to a girl, she not only ensured that you will behave well with women, she also ensured that you will pass on these values to your kids and family. These small things go a long way in changing society in the long run. Hopefully, the change may be noticeable someday!!

Last edited by Sugeeta : 29th June 2011 at 19:07.
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Old 29th June 2011, 19:11   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PAVAN KADAM View Post
Folks... Do take a look at the below link

Bachchans desperate for male heir, hints actress - Rediff.com Movies

Cant say about the credibility, but such mentality still exists across all classes of people in the country.
OT, but sorry, I am not going to give any weightage to any two bit starlet hungry for publicity. And the bacchans are an easy name to piggyback on for publicity.
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Old 29th June 2011, 20:30   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugeeta View Post
One of them refused to distribute sweets within the organisation (as is customary) when a 2nd daughter was born. Yet another one used to invite all of us only to his son's birthday and not his daughter's.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spitfire View Post
I was shocked and my feet were trembling when he in one to many drinks at a party and while getting back in a car talked about the utter disgust of having a girl instead of a boy.
For a couple of days, I could not come to terms with the fact that a person with a Masters Degree from the top institute in India can be so shallow. I then realized why his wife and child are permanently in their home in Kerala instead of being with him in Bangalore.
It was an eye opening moment. I avoid that person from now on. The malice is not in the villages and towns of North India. Its everywhere.
You’re so correct. This mindset is not confined to small towns and villages – it’s everywhere. Back in 2004, when I was working on a project in Kuala Lumpur, I got assigned a team member from our India office. Got to know that this person was newly married (just 2 weeks before), and hence asked him why he did not bring his wife along. His answer “well, I thought its better for her to stay in my village for 1 month, and get used to my family”. I was surprised, but kept quiet.
Fast forward to early 2006. Met this guy in India (not mentioning the city) – during one of my official trip. He was blessed with a baby girl then. When I congratulated him, came the next shocking response “Ya, unfortunately it’s a girl. I sent my wife and kid to my village so that the girl gets Indian values. In this city she will get corrupted. If it was a boy, we all should have stayed together”.
After that never spoken to him. Recently he tried to add me in LinkedIn, and he was safely archived.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugeeta View Post
Another gentleman used to accidentally lose daughters to death as the newborns slept, with no remorse on his part. After three such cases, a son was born and he managed to dodge the death trap, somehow. Most of us could put two and two together, sad!!
Shows how much females are respected in this nation.
Accidental loss! Shocking indeed.


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My father did not even bat an eyelid as he replied. Take my son as he is, I am not giving you even one paisa for him.
Good one! Thanks for sharing.


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Originally Posted by Maverick1977 View Post
Guys count me in... I was blessed with a beautiful daughter on 2nd April '11, I feel she is really for our country - for she was born on the same day that India lifted the world cup. She is the best thing that has happened to me!!!
Congratulations maverick; Enjoy the moments. And that’s a sweet name you chose for her!


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Originally Posted by adg_andy View Post
She was born on 29th April 2011, hence a Taurean just like me.
Congratulations!
It’s the Taurean part which is trouble. Both the ladies (my wife & kid) in my house are Taurus, with b’days a week apart, and nothing much a Piscean can do there

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I pity the foo' who asks me dowry for my daughter, when the day comes.
Hopefully the whole system is abolished by then. Anyway I am not much worried about that. Quite sure that Saana will find someone by her own

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Your comment about the clothes shopping reminded me of our own experience. I went around happily buying pink clothes (including a lovely skirt) in the hope and expectation of a girl child.
When my son was born, my first reaction was one of relief and gratefulness as both kid and mom were hale and hearty. The next reaction was what to do with the pink skirt?! My son ended up wearing all the other pink clothes except the skirt (wifey refused to put it on him), which I have kept very carefully
Those shopping experiences were really great. No wonder most of the ladies at various MotherCare outlets here know me pretty well!

Well, your son is going to be very angry with you in a few years – when he sees all those old photos of him in pink outfits, and will thank his mom for not making him wear a pink skirt!
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Old 29th June 2011, 20:47   #43
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Talking about co-incidences....

When Preksha was Born, she was the 6th member of our family.

She was born on 06-06-06

Birth time adds upto 06

Room No., 06

Birth Certificate No., 06

06th Student to get enrolled into her school

We got our 06th car after she was born

I completed 06 years of being a successful entrepreneur.

Also had successfully completed restoring 06 classic cars by this time.

And She's a GEMINI like me....

Sorry for going off-topic, but i felt certain joys needs to be shared.

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Old 29th June 2011, 21:02   #44
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I had a strange experience recently when my first-born turned out to be daughter.

I was overjoyed, (wife didn't care- she was just too exhausted), my father wanted a granddaughter, either way, mother was happy, sister is a feminist, father in law just wanted a baby to play with but mother in law was a little tense for the first few days.


Perhaps she was worried my parents may feel bad about it - I don't know the reason and she always denied being tense - but she was and it showed.


Society's ancient attitude towards girl child has been very rewarding to us so far - my daughter is getting some sort of aid from Karnataka govt., if she goes to a govt. school her education will be free, and Hijras gave us a discount when they came to collect their traditional levies (my feminist sister did her drama - girl child how can we pay more - of course, then she kept all the savings for herself)
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Old 29th June 2011, 21:09   #45
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Society's ancient attitude towards girl child has been very rewarding to us so far - my daughter is getting some sort of aid from Karnataka govt., if she goes to a govt. school her education will be free, and Hijras gave us a discount when they came to collect their traditional levies (my feminist sister did her drama - girl child how can we pay more - of course, then she kept all the savings for herself)
I just wish that Societies ancient attitude towards Aravanis changes.

Provides them with a better alternative that what most end up doing.

I hate that demeaning H word .
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