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Old 29th June 2011, 21:19   #46
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

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Originally Posted by bblost View Post
I just wish that Societies ancient attitude towards Aravanis changes.

Provides them with a better alternative that what most end up doing.

I hate that demeaning H word .

I'm sorry mate - didn't know the other word.

I'll recount another thing here - the guys actually negotiated very hard - they were in no mood to listen to <girl means less payment> bullshit.
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Old 29th June 2011, 21:35   #47
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

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I hate that demeaning H word .
There are many words which have a legitimate meaning but symbolize negativity because of usage over time.

Mahatma Gandhi coined "Harijan", the people of god, for the untouchables. The word itself has become demeaning now.

You can find many obscene words in English which were coined at first to avoid awkward words. The words themselves have become awkward now.
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Old 29th June 2011, 22:05   #48
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word has reached me, a muttering from the far end of my family, "they must be disappointed with a girl".........they should be very very thankful my mum has kept their identity to herself........

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shes lying on my chest as i type, squeaking at me, and i cannot think of anything better to do than this for the rest of my day off!
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Old 29th June 2011, 22:11   #49
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^^^ hope you use the 'red-eye-reduction' feature when you take pics of your beautiful daughter with flash enabled. the direct flash might be painful to the sensitive eyes of babies.

PS : jai-uno-t, thanks a lot for this thread. This thread of yours is causing a lot of mental churning in me. Maybe, one day, I will be able to organise my thoughts in a manner befitting the rules/decorum of this forum, and I shall post my thoughts here then. I know that if I post my thoughts/feelings (against female infanticide et al) on this topic, now, I will probably get myself infracted/ejected from this forum, and I dont want that to happen.

Last edited by Blue Thunder : 29th June 2011 at 22:18.
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Old 29th June 2011, 22:20   #50
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oh believe me i am heavily censoring my thoughts and suppressing emotion on this subject! i'm not inclined to violence, but for these people i'll happily make an exception...
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Old 30th June 2011, 09:52   #51
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Scooted from office the past 2 days at 5:30 pm to play badminton with 7 yr old lil' Neha. She wanted a racket (and more importantly it should reside in its own racket cover/bag.) Got it 2 days back since one from the old set broke. She has been cycling for quite some time now but has only recently mastered the technique of getting on and off the cycle. As I result I run along with her through out the 30 min. Its fun to see her grow and do all those outdoor / indoor activity. I got a lovely peck on my cheek this morning. Nothing can beat it!

I was ok with a girl or a boy. But after her birth I was and am so glad that it was a girl. Its just exciting each minute being father to a girl.

We are 3 brothers and I am the youngest. No sisters. Mom cried when I was born. I will once again ask her this evening if she indeed cried or is it just folklore. My brother was adamant when he and his wife were expecting. He would have cried if it was a boy. He was so so so adamant that it should be a girl. His joy knew no bounds when twin girls were born to them.

Btw, my mom has 4 sisters and 1 brother. My father has 2 brothers and 3 sisters. All this in the 30s and the 40s and proves that there has been no female infanticide in our community. And I must say by not conducting female infanticide its not something great. It should not be a topic of discussion at all in the first place.

It is very very disturbing hearing some other personal experiences listed especially from sugeeta. Views from BlueThunder and jai-uno-t just above are understandable. At times we are helpless.
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Old 30th June 2011, 11:34   #52
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

Years ago I had a colleague who had worked for GE medical systems Ultrasound division as a field applications guy.

He told me that almost every single machine in tier-2 cities and many in tier-1 cities are used for only one purpose. What was more sickening was that many of these machines do not even work properly - not only girls quite a few boys are aborted every year (parents have no idea what the doctor has done - doctor gets his HUGE fee either way) simply because the haze on the screen is so bad nobody can determine the sex (or anything actually) from the pictures.


Other interesting (if you can call them that) facts - the poor actually have more girls than lower middle class, who in turn have more girls than the upper middle class - who in turn have more girls than the relatively rich (the super rich seem to have overcome this disease to a good extent).

For some reason, education, wealth and social status are enemies of the girl child
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Old 30th June 2011, 14:27   #53
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

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Originally Posted by vina View Post
For some reason, education, wealth and social status are enemies of the girl child
Awesome point! I (and the usual literature/media) mentions about illiteracy/population/poverty to be the reason for all evils in the society but in this case its the reverse. Lots of talking/societal circles/influences/status brings the thoughts and then if one has the money to go with it then it becomes easy for such people. But on second thoughts maybe all these factors contributes to the problem only in urban populace which is a minuscule.
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Old 1st July 2011, 11:18   #54
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

When we were expecting our 1st child 4 years ago, I so much wanted a baby-girl, even though both my sisters had girls. But turned out to be a boy. A little disappointed, but got over it as Aman became the joy of our life - who can resist a kid, be it boy or girl ? We are expecting the 2nd one in end-August and hopefully this would be a girl.

Most of Kerala treats kids the same - infact mostly girls get preferential treatment. If you look back in Kerala history, there are places where matriarchal system was followed, irrespective of religion. It still is in place eg at Mayyanadu in Kollam, where boys are married out to their in-laws homes, while daughters stay on with their parents after marriage (the son-in-law moves in). Nice system in the sense that it prevents the infamous MIL-DIL fights.

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Old 1st July 2011, 16:14   #55
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Congrats supremebaleno and may you have a sweet, healthy child come August. Secretly hoping it's a girl too, but as parents we are trained to say "I don't care if it's a boy or grl, as long as its healthy" with a big bright smile, as I am sure you know!

You're right about some communities in Kerala being matriarchal- amazing thing is they folow the system even to this day. My old neighbours are Warriars and they follow this- their son went to live with his in-laws in Kerala when he got married, while the daughter lives close by with her family.
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Old 1st July 2011, 17:55   #56
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

This thread is inspiring me to post this. When we were expecting our first child i wasn't very particular but wifey was. She always wanted a girl and as it turned out it was a girl. Its been a wonderful four years since then and i am loving every bit of it.

Celebrating the girl child-dscn0047a.jpg
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Old 1st July 2011, 19:40   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by supremeBaleno
If you look back in Kerala history, there are places where matriarchal system was followed, irrespective of religion. It still is in place eg at Mayyanadu in Kollam, where boys are married out to their in-laws homes, while daughters stay on with their parents after marriage (the son-in-law moves in). Nice system in the sense that it prevents the infamous MIL-DIL fights.
Same system exists in coastal karnataka too. But now a days only in villages you will find this. Those who have moved to cities have become nuclear or patriarchal.

Somewhere in the thread I read about how education hasn't helped in fixing the gender ratio. According to me the best education one can receive is at home. If one is not taught these values at home, no education will help.
So it doesn't matter if one is literate or not, if there is a bias against girl child at home, it will stay like that unless there is a conscious effort.
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Old 1st July 2011, 21:56   #58
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

Quote:
Originally Posted by supremeBaleno View Post
When we were expecting our 1st child 4 years ago, I so much wanted a baby-girl, even though both my sisters had girls. But turned out to be a boy. A little disappointed, but got over it as Aman became the joy of our life - who can resist a kid, be it boy or girl ? We are expecting the 2nd one in end-August and hopefully this would be a girl.
That should be so exciting. August is so near. Congratulations!

Quote:
Originally Posted by supremeBaleno View Post
Most of Kerala treats kids the same - infact mostly girls get preferential treatment. If you look back in Kerala history, there are places where matriarchal system was followed, irrespective of religion. It still is in place eg at Mayyanadu in Kollam, where boys are married out to their in-laws homes, while daughters stay on with their parents after marriage (the son-in-law moves in).
Even though I am from Kerala, I did not know about this practice is Mayyanadu. Thanks for sharing.
Just for information, my last name is mom’s family name. Traditionally that was the way, but nowadays a lot them prefer to keep dad’s name as the last name.
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Old 1st July 2011, 23:12   #59
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

jai-uno-t, thanks a lot for this thread. I myself is a proud father of two daughters and I do not have words to describe the joy. Everyday, I just look forward to get back home and spend time with my daughters. All the stress and tension goes out the moment I see them come running to me. I cannot pen down what I think about those who commit infanticide.
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Old 3rd July 2011, 01:32   #60
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Default re: Celebrating the girl child

Good that this topic has come to light.

I & my wife wanted a girl baby and God gave us one. I thank God for that

But there were some relatives who told my parents that boy would have been better. The thing is they don't speak in front of me as they know I will blast them.

Regarding the issue plaguing India on girl babies, I believe our Government is to blame to a some extent. No stringent policies exist. When election comes we see parties shouting slogans about 25K for girl child etc.. but after they get elected they forget about it.

Anyways talking on this subject frustrates me more , I know some of you will say Govt can't do anything but we witness everyday their weakness when it comes to scams etc..

Trillion of dollars in Swiss bank when it can be used for education and removing poverty, feeding the hungry, implementing strict laws on female foeticide etc..
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