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Old 9th July 2011, 02:29   #1
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Default Bright Child Having issues with new school

Buddies Badly need your kind words to support or suggest me the correct procedure.

My daughter aged 5+ has recently taken admission in a newer bigger school, She's always been admired by teachers for her nursery and L.K.G.
She always came in top 3 during exams,
but now the child is so scared of here Class Teacher, infact she's in a lot of pressure mentally which i can feel.

She vomits when forced for her Tiffin by teacher.
she's not studying as she used to
she is so scared of teacher beating her up that she even avoids asking for toilet and looses control on natures calls.
She used to dance in happiness when going to last school,
Now she goes with me but as soon as she enters school she's scared, cries and says papa don't leave me alone here.

She has No Medical or Mental Issues, she's absolutely normal, very charming and loving and has always been taken care by us, I never neglect anything when it comes to her.
Also my very close family friends whom i consider as good as my parents are one of the best practitioner doctors of town, so there's no medical issues with the child till date, God bless us and keep her safe.

I was called by the said teacher many times before school closed for summer vacation that your child blah blah blah type stuff, I politely asked for sorry and begged for excuse that this is a newer school she's adjust in a few days/week,
Explained a lot of things to wife and child, but now when school re-open and she went only for 3 days, have been beaten up 2 days already.
she's been hit using Ruler, for not eating food, for god knows what reason.

Being from a VERY influential family and have not less than 50 friends as good lawyers of Allahabad High Court, I can easily drag this school to Court but I don't want to loose patience as this could waste one year of education of my child.

I am so angry today, to avoid any argument i slept whole day, almost ignoring my business clients, Calling a few and saying, please excuse me for today I am in pain.
I am almost crying in anger while i type all this harassment episode.

This lady teacher is also very close friend to the Lady Principal of the school and thinks she can treat anybody's child as dustbin.

I am feeling insulted, child being tortured in school

God forgive me and avoid any strict and angry decision.

Please advise me how to tackle this situation ?

Should i arrange for section change so she's under another teacher ?
or i lodge and F.I.R.
Or i go to school and show how angry i could be within legal limits or i give a damn, i may cross this limit and teach these beasts a lesson.
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Old 9th July 2011, 03:17   #2
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

My deep sympathies for the plight that you find yourself in.
If you threaten them, the school authorities may back down iniatally but being human beings with all their flaws, they may likely take it out on your child in subtle harassment,so lodging an FIR/teaching them a lesson in otherways may not ensure a happy time for your child in this school.
I would suggest that you have a heart to heart talk with the Principal , explain how your child is deeply unhappy, & ask for a change of section.
A principal is responsible for running a school smoothly & for its reputation so your fear of her taking the teachers side may be only an apprehension.
If , however things dont work out satisfactorily, take your child out & admit her to another school.Since she's just 5 years of age,this will hardly impact her studies, but continuation of her traumatic situation certainly will.
All the very best!
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Old 9th July 2011, 04:14   #3
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Thanks Kamal Ji, I've requested someone very senior of Allahabad High Court to ask them to change the section.
He knows someone in management and could easily handle this.

while i am not going to argue with them, like i said in initial post due to anger, i would try to work out this in peaceful way but with legal process.

meeting principal would be avoided as I already made a friend ask another teacher who says don't mess with that teachers as she's very close to principal mam.

However after this request If they denied, or touched my child again, I'll not send her to this so called one of the best School but lodge and F.I.R. and they are going to face some Real Serious Heat in legal ways along with a exclusive and very sticky coverage in media to teach them a lesson that they don't do such acts with any innocent child.

A child is like a god to me, if harassed so, I would leave no stone unturned in tackling it, whatever efforts it needs within legal limits.
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Old 9th July 2011, 08:09   #4
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

@ghpk

I read your post. I am compelled to respond as I have worked closely with children, teachers and school systems.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghpk View Post
Buddies Badly need your kind words to support or suggest me the correct procedure.

My daughter aged 5+ has recently taken admission in a newer bigger school, She's always been admired by teachers for her nursery and L.K.G.
She always came in top 3 during exams,
but now the child is so scared of here Class Teacher, infact she's in a lot of pressure mentally which i can feel.

She vomits when forced for her Tiffin by teacher.
she's not studying as she used to
she is so scared of teacher beating her up that she even avoids asking for toilet and looses control on natures calls.
She used to dance in happiness when going to last school,
Now she goes with me but as soon as she enters school she's scared, cries and says papa don't leave me alone here.
The child is clearly showing symptoms of stress. The stress for child comes from many directions.

1. Change of school itself means that the child is torn away from existing friends and she'll have to find her way into a new place and make new friends. Big schools often end up creating big stress.

2. Tests, examinations and grading children is retrograde as well as stressful. Ranking children is a dangerous game that schools play and parents encourage. I will get to these issues later.

3. A child in stress evokes a response of stress in parents and household, which feedbacks to the child, who in turn gets even more stressed. This sets up a vicious cycle that is difficult to break.

Quote:
She has No Medical or Mental Issues, she's absolutely normal, very charming and loving and has always been taken care by us, I never neglect anything when it comes to her.
Also my very close family friends whom i consider as good as my parents are one of the best practitioner doctors of town, so there's no medical issues with the child till date, God bless us and keep her safe.
It is good that there are no issues here. However, this mindset is itself an issue. We need to understand that each child is different. Every child has a right to be treated with dignity - regardless of the circumstances.

Quote:
I was called by the said teacher many times before school closed for summer vacation that your child blah blah blah type stuff, I politely asked for sorry and begged for excuse that this is a newer school she's adjust in a few days/week,
Explained a lot of things to wife and child, but now when school re-open and she went only for 3 days, have been beaten up 2 days already.
she's been hit using Ruler, for not eating food, for god knows what reason.
The school system comprises of the child, parent and teachers. It is imperative that three have good relationship with each other. I know dozens of bad teachers just as I know even larger number of not the best parents. Even the most well meaning teacher or parent may be doing exactly the opposite.

Quote:
Being from a VERY influential family and have not less than 50 friends as good lawyers of Allahabad High Court, I can easily drag this school to Court but I don't want to loose patience as this could waste one year of education of my child.

I am so angry today, to avoid any argument i slept whole day, almost ignoring my business clients, Calling a few and saying, please excuse me for today I am in pain.
I am almost crying in anger while i type all this harassment episode.
This is a serious issue. While I can sense your pain, my sincere suggestion is not get carried away by the position of influence or other factors.

Quote:
This lady teacher is also very close friend to the Lady Principal of the school and thinks she can treat anybody's child as dustbin.

I am feeling insulted, child being tortured in school
I empathize with you. Once again, I'd appeal to your better sense. Feeling insulted will elicit a response that could be easily damaging to your long term interest. Treat it as an issue that needs to be settled towards the best interest of the child.

Quote:
Please advise me how to tackle this situation ?

Should i arrange for section change so she's under another teacher ?
or i lodge and F.I.R.
Or i go to school and show how angry i could be within legal limits or i give a damn, i may cross this limit and teach these beasts a lesson.
Children take a long time to settle down in school system. In fact most children are attempting to find their way till about grade III - when they should be 9 or 10 years old.

There should be no attempt to grade them till at least Vth standard. We must differentiate between assessment and grading. Assessment helps the school and teachers understand whether her methods and presence are helping the child or not. An assessment (or a test) is a reflection on teacher not the one taught. Till grade III the teaching must necessarily be integrated and not be divided into different subjects.

Children should NOT be ranked. That's a big mistake. For one winner - for there can be only one child who stands first - we end up creating 39 losers. This is absurd. If we subject children to ranking then we must rank the teachers, the principals, education officers, the parents too. How would we feel then?

I raise this alert for you because you quoted the child being in first three. This is a trap. Don't worry where the child stands, and don't let that influence child's self esteem - or yours for that matter. Otherwise we set-up the child on a path where only success (ill-defined and often ill conceived) defines the self-esteem. No one wins forever, and many lose out on much more important aspects of preparing for life, when they get into the business coming first in the class.

Parents, teachers, school administration and child must enjoy a relationship that promotes love, respect and security.

Child comes first. But, no one really knows what the child really wants. We should therefore trust the child. Also remember that while children can be innocent they are also master manipulators.

Never discuss short-comings of teachers and school in their presence. Don't say things like "I'll teach them a lesson... report to police... or what have we"

It may placate the child momentarily but also has potential to create huge stress. Children can also easily get used to blaming the teachers/school for everything under the sun, and you'll have no way of knowing what is the real situation.

Under the current circumstances my suggestion is as follows:

1. Settle the issue amicably. Perhaps quietly change the section if possible.

2. If the school has good qualified counselor set up an appointment with her/him and see if that helps.

3. Observe the child. The symptoms of stress should settle down in a month or so - so long as you (or her mother) don't pass on your stress to her.

4. Don't discuss the teachers and her school in her presence with your spouse, other family members or friends - not even on phone. Just because she is playing does not mean that she's not listening.

5. Look out for a good small school, where the focus is NOT on marks, misplaced discipline and pin drop silence. Where parents are treated as partners in education of their child. Where children come first. Where a child is genuinely respected. And which does not rank or grade children.

6. If the child does not feel like going to school on some days, then I would let her miss on the condition that we will follow the school time table at home. Then stick to this condition. If the child prefers this - for several days running - to going to the school, it is time to change the school.

7. Changing the school is a serious decision. You should first get the criteria of selecting a good school clear in your mind.

We often select the most prestigious, biggest school, where all children are highly disciplined and nearly all get more than 90% in board examinations. If this is case the case, then you have already setup your child to face ring-masters in a circus, and not the loving caring teachers. This can be achieved by rigorous centrifuging the children right from class I. These are what I call assembly line schools. Assembly lines may be good to manufacture cars and other equipments. Search for a school that not a factory.

Physical abuse - like hitting the child with a scale - is simply not on. In fact teachers should not be carrying the rulers or pointers in the class at all. More so because these are seen as weapons by the children that can be used against them if the don't conform.

In my opinion beating and physical punishment should NOT be taken lightly. A teacher indulging in physical - and emotional punishment/torture - is a criminal. Of this there is no doubt in my mind.

The question is that while the criminals should be punished, but simultaneously we need to protect the interest of the victim. This can be a tricky situation in schools. PTA might be a good body through which to act.

Remember too, that children are very resilient, they forgive easily and carry on as if nothing has happened. This is what I love about them most.

Finally don't act in haste or in a state that charged with emotions.

I know this post is full of Gyan that most can do without. My apologies if I have exceeded my boundaries. I have not written anything with view to increase your pain or incite you into any hurried action.

Don't hesitate to PM me or call me if that will help. I know sometimes just talking helps too. Take care.

Last edited by SushilBajpai : 9th July 2011 at 08:14.
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Old 9th July 2011, 09:14   #5
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghpk View Post
Buddies Badly need your kind words to support or suggest me the correct procedure.
Firstly, you selected this school because you felt it is the best for your girl. Instead of taking any drastic decision, I suggest to have a talk with the principal/school management on the possible solution.

If things are not working out, look for a different school. And this time closely look the overall school environments, rather than the high academic credentials.

I have a 3 year old daughter, and I personally feel that grading / ranking (top 3) is irrelevant at this age. I am actually in the lookout for a school for her where-in there are no exams and grading at least in the primary school level.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SushilBajpai View Post
@ghpk
I read your post. I am compelled to respond as I have worked closely with children, teachers and school systems…
….I know this post is full of Gyan that most can do without. My apologies if I have exceeded my boundaries. I have not written anything with view to increase your pain or incite you into any hurried action.
Sushil, that was such a useful post. Thank you very much!
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Old 9th July 2011, 09:23   #6
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghpk View Post
She vomits when forced for her Tiffin by teacher.
she's not studying as she used to
she is so scared of teacher beating her up that she even avoids asking for toilet and looses control on natures calls.
She used to dance in happiness when going to last school,
Now she goes with me but as soon as she enters school she's scared, cries and says papa don't leave me alone here.
Why are you still keeping the child there. Get her admitted to another school. I understand that the other school might not be as good or "Glamorous" as the first one but it will be good for your kid. Get her away from those Educational Nazis.

It is clear that the school you have mentioned is basking in the glory of its achievement and thinks it can get away with anything. Such schools should be stayed away from. Unless you happen to be one of those parents for whom which school the kid is studying is a matter of social standing.

Most parents think that school is everything. That is wrong. You cannot think that you sent her to the best school and rest everything will fall in place. I have seen most Business people who are too busy in life to fall for this thing. Parents still have to play a bigger role in child development. So do not give too much importance to the school.

There is no need to start action against any individual in school. They are all buddies and they will gang up and take out their frustrations on your child. Do not do this. I have seen same thing happen to me. Pathetic losers.
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Old 9th July 2011, 09:39   #7
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Physical punishment is not allowed in any school system. The teacher can get into trouble but that might spiral into something quite disastrous for the child.

You might want to seriously think about the school itself. If a teacher is able to operate with impunity because of proximity to a principal (who, remember, does not own the school but is an administrator) maybe the school is not right for any child. The examples being set to the kids are wrong.

Any change in environment stresses kids out because their ability to make decisions is very limited. Counsel the child and talk to her as much as you can. Talk her through decision making where you can evaluate all the pros and cons before coming up with a solution, so that she can be part of the problem-solving process. At least she can get something out of what currently is a bad situation.

Also try and get a one-on-one with the teacher. Sometimes a conversation helps - keep it genial and polite, to understand her point of view and her assessment of the child. If specific issues and areas of improvement are discussed maybe the solution may not be as drastic as a school change (which may further depress the child).

Above all, try to not make emotional statements or decisions if at all possible. In times of stress rationality and thoughtfulness are our greatest assets. It is almost impossible when it involves loved ones, because of their emotional significance and proximity, but parenting is never really simple.
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Old 9th July 2011, 11:49   #8
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Being a father of a young girl reading this post and the level's that our education system has stooped down to hurts me a lot. I totally agree with your sentiments and hope that you find a solution fast to this situation as you little girl is too young to handle any kind of stress.

I really cant understand what kinda school is it that resorts to physical punishment to a 5 year old? It could be the best school in the whole world but by giving stress to a kid it will never be able to get out the best in a student.

I strongly suggest that if talks with the faculty has had no affect the best is to change the school and give your kid a better environment in which she can grow and learn stress free.

Since you said you come from an influential family getting admissions in another school should not be a problem.

Lots of love to your daughter

regards
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Old 9th July 2011, 12:42   #9
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

@ghpk

I can identify with your predicament as we , I and my wife, suffered the same crap with respect to our daughter. I do not know if my experience will help you or not but let me describe it any way.

Our daughter in her younger years (early years at school) used to manage grades in the region of A+. However as she moved up the classes she started faltering in her performance, this was in class 3 to be precise. To me this was of no consequence, as I am not enamored with the grading/ranking system and quite honestly did not give a damn about her grades. My wife however was quite perturbed, maybe because she is a teacher. What however was worrying was my daughter was not enthusiastic about school and actually felt relieved if she could give it a miss. To me this was a red flag.

I started asking her but she was not forthcoming. Maybe I was not going about it in the right manner as it can be very traumatic for a class 3 child to explain her feelings. So I left the task to my wife. Slowly she made our daughter talk and and then it came out that the damn teacher was giving her a hard time, because she was not able to understand what the teacher was doing in Math class. Instead of the teacher taking time and being patient with the child , the bloody woman started ridiculing my daughter and insulting and scolding her in class. My daughter is a mite too sensitive ( not a strong point ) and was even then after 4 to 5 years of schooling ( at that time )very close to the teachers who had taught her at entry level.

Once I came to know of this I and my wife were at a loss on how to deal with her. Fortunately for us, the school scheduled a PTA meeting right then. Then I confronted the lady. I asked her if she felt my daughter was not up to the mark intellectually. She got slightly apprehensive with the tone of my questioning. To put her at ease, I assured her that I was not there to point fingers. However my child who was an enthusiastic student, even if not a Rhodes scholar loathed the idea of school. Why had this happened after the child was promoted to her class? Then I let it be known if she could not be patient with the child she should let me and the school authorities know and I shall request the principal to transfer my child to another section.

This was all it took for her ( the teacher ) to mend her ways. The moral of the story. Do not go out after the school authorities in the first instance. Talk to the teacher. If she listens to reason, problem solved. If not, then talk to the managing committee. Send a message to the principal she should keep her staff in check and if required do it in a manner that is effective.
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Old 9th July 2011, 12:57   #10
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghpk View Post
She always came in top 3 during exams,
Seriously?? 5 year old is being graded. I dont see any difference between this school and the present one. If your kid was not in the top 3 she probably could have been treated similarly.

I am surprised you as a parent take pride in this. I find this very revolting. I think you as a parent need to do some soul searching too before pointing fingers. I think there is a general sense of following a herd here that you have imbibed. Get rid of it first. The rest of your timidity and letting your child suffer so gravely is because some of your own weaknesses.

Quote:
She vomits when forced for her Tiffin by teacher.
she's not studying as she used to
she is so scared of teacher beating her up that she even avoids asking for toilet and looses control on natures calls.
She used to dance in happiness when going to last school,
Now she goes with me but as soon as she enters school she's scared, cries and says papa don't leave me alone here.
My heart pains listening to that man. I have lump in my throat. How I feel
for your kid man.

Quote:
she is so scared of teacher beating her up
WHAT!! WHAT!!! REALLY!! THE CHILD IS BEING BEATEN UP!!!

What sort of a parent are you to let this happen.

You are looking at this only as your personal issue. And all the other people talking about avoiding taking it up with that teacher is pure selfishness.

Do you realize this inhuman person will be beating up other kids too. Just like he/she does to your daughter?

I am ashamed of the folks above who say not to bring the teacher to task.

Take this to the papers, take this to the media. Get that teacher banned for life. That person is not fit to be a human forget being a teacher.


Quote:
I politely asked for sorry and begged for excuse that this is a newer school she's adjust in a few days/week,
Why are you being so meek man. Grow a spine. Its your child for heavens sake!!! What are you being such a coward for.

Whatever your child does the teacher has no right to hurt her. PERIOD.

Forget the excuses and all the bull crap that you are throwing around.

This few incidents are going to dent the future of your child forever. You are still sending her to the same rogue? I just cant understand your mindset man...

Quote:
Being from a VERY influential family and have not less than 50 friends as good lawyers of Allahabad High Court, I can easily drag this school to Court but I don't want to loose patience as this could waste one year of education of my child.
All your boasting above is not going to give the child a good future man. Seriously.. Look at this as you being a failure as a parent more then blaming the teacher.

You yourself have a lot to learn.

Quote:
I am feeling insulted, child being tortured in school
THATS IT!! Insulted?? Is that all?? Sitting hundreds of miles away I feel like dragging you out of your safety and facing the world for your child. To be its protector to be its all...

Quote:
Should i arrange for section change so she's under another teacher ?
or i lodge and F.I.R.
Or i go to school and show how angry i could be within legal limits or i give a damn, i may cross this limit and teach these beasts a lesson.
Anger wont help. Get this sorted get the teacher out of that school. Heck use all your influence above to make sure that the teacher does not step into another class ever.

This is not only about your child but a lot of other children.

God forbid one kid who cant take it too long and is not strong enough takes a drastic step. Every such incident will be blamed on the parents who didn't take action. Like you if you don't.

I have made lot of personal comments above, forgive me if you can. But I am too a father of a 3 year old son who is very naughty. I too have got a lot of complaints already - its only being a month. I have met the teacher and have made it very clear what I would do and where the boundary is for her and for me when it comes into interfering into my child's school going.

Seriously man I really feel for your daughter. Please give her a tight hug from me. She needs a lot of love after what she has been through. Please for me. I would really be indebted to you. Sorry I cant do much otherwise.
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Old 9th July 2011, 13:28   #11
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghpk View Post
Buddies Badly need your kind words to support or suggest me the correct procedure.

My daughter aged 5+ has recently taken admission in a newer bigger school, She's always been admired by teachers for her nursery and L.K.G.
She always came in top 3 during exams,
but now the child is so scared of here Class Teacher, infact she's in a lot of pressure mentally which i can feel.
Ghpk, please understand this : 90% of child's development happens by the time the child is 5 years old. Your daughter is going through a very important growing up stage, don't let her growing up be impacted in this utterly disgraceful manner.

Please take your child out from the school ASAP. Even if the section is changed, your daughter may still not completely get rid of this totally unwanted fear psychosis.

Get her into a smaller, probably less recognized but a loving little school, where the emphasis is not on rote learning to produce future worldly wise citizens, but on developing gentle, loving, and caring students who would grow up to be responsible men and women of character....which we are in so desperate need of.

Last edited by rrsteer : 9th July 2011 at 13:30.
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Old 9th July 2011, 14:23   #12
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spitfire View Post
Seriously?? I am surprised you as a parent take pride in this. I find this very revolting. I think you as a parent need to do some soul searching too before pointing fingers. I think there is a general sense of following a herd here that you have imbibed. Get rid of it first. The rest of your timidity and letting your child suffer so gravely is because some of your own weaknesses....

...

What sort of a parent are you to let this happen.

You are looking at this only as your personal issue. And all the other people talking about avoiding taking it up with that teacher is pure selfishness.

Do you realize this inhuman person will be beating up other kids too. Just like he/she does to your daughter?

I am ashamed of the folks above who say not to bring the teacher to task.

Take this to the papers, take this to the media. Get that teacher banned for life. That person is not fit to be a human forget being a teacher.

Why are you being so meek man. Grow a spine. Its your child for heavens sake!!! What are you being such a coward for.

Whatever your child does the teacher has no right to hurt her. PERIOD.

Forget the excuses and all the bull crap that you are throwing around.

This few incidents are going to dent the future of your child forever. You are still sending her to the same rogue? I just cant understand your mindset man...

All your boasting above is not going to give the child a good future man. Seriously.. Look at this as you being a failure as a parent more then blaming the teacher.

You yourself have a lot to learn.

THATS IT!! Insulted?? Is that all?? Sitting hundreds of miles away I feel like dragging you out of your safety and facing the world for your child. To be its protector to be its all...

Anger wont help. Get this sorted get the teacher out of that school. Heck use all your influence above to make sure that the teacher does not step into another class ever.

This is not only about your child but a lot of other children.

I have made lot of personal comments above, forgive me if you can. But I am too a father of a 3 year old son who is very naughty. I too have got a lot of complaints already - its only being a month. I have met the teacher and have made it very clear what I would do and where the boundary is for her and for me when it comes into interfering into my child's school going.

Seriously man I really feel for your daughter. Please give her a tight hug from me. She needs a lot of love after what she has been through. Please for me. I would really be indebted to you. Sorry I cant do much otherwise.
@Spitfire

Good lord! I am touched by your concern for children, and I truly wish that there were more people like you, who felt as strongly about this. There are many things that you write with which I would agree. However, laying it all on the doors of parents doesn't work.

When dealing with incidents such as these we need to understand that there are two issues that you are dealing.

1. Victims of the system, and
2. A system of victims.

These events are triggered by the structures which define the system, which in turn are created by deeply held unchallenged and untested assumptions and beliefs. It includes not just the parents but also the social milieu and its fabric.

I agree that a teacher who beats a child should have no place in the education system. Other children are at risk. I also realise that the teacher (or a parent for that matter) who beats children most likely was at receiving end of a stick in her own childhood.

Systems have a mind of their own that is not easy to change. It needs a large number of people who challenge and bring to surface the assumption that lead us into the trap.

Look at the CBSE, ICSE or state boards. Has anyone of these bodies that govern and recognize our school got a clear and unambiguous rule that says, "in case of any physical punishment the teacher will be debarred from teaching and school is under real threat losing its recognition?" No they have not! And are you not surprised? In theory there are other laws which can be invoked, but why is school system so quite when many of these issues can be adequately addressed by simple administrative directives?

PTA is mandated for every school. Why can't PTA take a stand that no child will be punished - physically and emotionally?

Of course parents can, and should, take a stand. But if the culture of the school permits this kind of behavior and is then brow beaten by the parent, it can't be very good for the child either.

Frankly, I think you got a bit carried away. There is IMHO no need to go on such a tirade on an already suffering parent. Your urgings well-meaning as they are, could trigger a disproportionate emotional response.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rrsteer View Post

Get her into a smaller, probably less recognized but a loving little school, where the emphasis is not on rote learning to produce future worldly wise citizens, but on developing gentle, loving, and caring students who would grow up to be responsible men and women of character....which we are in so desperate need of.
Going to smaller and caring school could definitely help. But small schools have several problems of their own. They continuously struggle to make their two end meet. They are forced to charge higher fee due to their smaller numbers. They can't afford to pay the good qualified teachers.

It's tricky situation really.

You have to really look for a good small school. There are some in Pune and Bangalore. I don't know about other towns.

Having found a good school, we can't begin to demand that the child should necessarily get 90% or that why the marks and percentages not entered into the report cards and that they only descriptive in nature.

The parents have to then understand and be prepared to learn what good education really entails.

Last edited by SushilBajpai : 9th July 2011 at 14:31. Reason: minor edits
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Old 9th July 2011, 15:58   #13
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

@ghpk - My deepest sympathies.
This is a stressful time for you and your child. Find out the REAL reason/problem/issue/incident that made the teacher behave like this - is she like this with other children as well ? Talk to the school principal and teacher calmly to understand what happened, don't confront them with the version of the story you currently know/believe, there could be more that you don't know as yet.

The other thing you need to find out is if your child's behaviour has changed in this school - maybe she is missing her old friends, not liking this school, too much pressure on doing work, studying, homework, etc, teachers always making comparisons with other kids, unfriendly environment, etc this list could go on and on.
Talk to the child, again calmly and try to find out the exact details of the child's version of what happened (the events leading to this incident). Also try to find out if/why she does not like the school, misses her friends, etc

As for legal action, using your influence, etc do that after you find out the real reason(s) but don't spare them if they're at fault.

Last edited by NPV : 9th July 2011 at 16:02.
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Old 9th July 2011, 16:57   #14
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Quote:
Originally Posted by cranky
You might want to seriously think about the school itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrsteer
Please take your child out from the school ASAP.
I agree with the above opinions - you need to move your kid out of that school. Ofcourse, if you can change the attitude of the teacher, that would be great, but I doubt that happening.

Corporal punishment is out of fashion long time ago - can't believe someone hitting a 5-year old kid. More than the physical pain, imagine the mental trauma your kid would be going through. And I am not sure what will happen even if a kid loses 1 year of school ? Isn't it better than she turning into a mental wreck at the thought of school.

And once you have moved your kid to another school, haul the teacher/principal/school through court, so that they do not do this to another kid.
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Old 9th July 2011, 17:33   #15
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Default Re: Bright Child Having issues with new school

Thanks buddies for your inputs, that is certainly helping me thinking from all angles.

We didn't send the child to school today, and you can't imagine how happy the child is, she learned spellings on her own, she played a lot, even taught her dolls etc etc.

But i certainly take this as the child is able to cheer up when she knows she doesn't has to face the Angry teacher.

For study part, she has never been neglected by us, or after initial nursery days, no teacher blamed us for her studies, all teachers from past 2 years always admired the way she grasped the things.

I even called he old teachers today(previous school), they were shocked this happening to her, they have asked me to meet the management and explain, and if needed they are willing to come along to explain how the child is being tortured to understand that school = punishment and that too when the same child was most active and on good performance at previous school.

I clearly remember Last PTA, teacher also suggested me to see a doctor,
so if a child if horrified with teachers act, standing in front of child, EAT EAT EAT
do you think a 5 yr. old will EAT,
Also the child has told the following which i forgot to post earlier.
"you are not going home till food is finished "
"I am locking you up in building if tiffin is not finished"
"Everybody eats, why will you not eat, and slam a few scales on her back"
and then she wants me to consult a doctor.

The teacher is certainly doing bad practice and to top it up she has this loving principal stamping whatever my teacher is doing is for good of the child.

A legal action is not a problem but only if this teacher refuses to comply with management. she has already crossed the limits and must be checked.

Else I'll dedicate time to tell the city thru media about this CBSE Board school, that how good they can handle the child.

I am on the move, will be posting more details soon.
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