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Old 17th August 2011, 15:51   #1
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Default Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Hi Friends,

An obscene caller has been stalking a friend since last 6 months. He calls her and speaks in vulgar language. Understandably, she is very petrified with all this.

I suggested to her that she reports it to Delhi police, but she says that her family is very conservative and if they come to know about it, they might ask her to resign her from her job. I know it sounds ridiculous, but this is how it is.

Today I called up that guy and had a verbal duel with him. He sounded like typical scum of the earth. I threatened to report him to police if he doesn't stop it. But I don't know whether it'll be of any help.

Any ideas, what can be done in such a situation?

Regards

Nitin

Last edited by GTO : 18th August 2011 at 15:58. Reason: STRICTLY no abusive language on this forum.
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Old 17th August 2011, 15:58   #2
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Being conservative doesnt imply "not to defend yourselves".
Pls advise your friend and her family to report this to police.
Not going to job wont solve any problems.
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Old 17th August 2011, 15:59   #3
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Dont really have to file an FIR in the police, just go to the police station and talk to the concerned authorities and they would help (They usually start with the bare minimum force needed and then move forward if things don't change).

I am saying this (Although it has happened in BLR), someone kept calling (and SMSing) my wife's number and we went to the cops showed them the proof and what he did there after is to call up the guy and talk some sense (From cops angle) in his head. One call and the guy cooled off and never called/SMS'd again. All you need is proof (like calls/missed calls/Sms's etc)

So no-one else other than me, my wife and the cop knows about this incident (Now you all know). What i mean is that, her family members wouldn't know about it. She can go alone (or along with a friend) or her brother (if one is available and understands the situation).

Most of these cases are nothing and nothing happens (I mean they don't escalate like they used to show in old hindi movies) hence no need to worry.

Last edited by mayankjha1806 : 17th August 2011 at 16:02.
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:00   #4
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Short of taking the law into your hands there is nothing you can do if you do not wish to approach the police.
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:00   #5
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Hi, have dealt with a few such cases myself.

Call him up and threaten that once reported to police they will strip him till his undies and parade him in his neighbourhood trashing him along the way.
You can also report the matter to the network operator.

Do not panic, these fools are losers who are scared themselves.

Be bold and protect your lady(friend)
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:02   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anoopap View Post
Being conservative doesnt imply "not to defend yourselves".
Pls advise your friend and her family to report this to police.
Not going to job wont solve any problems.
Her family is very protective kinds and she'll be restricted a lot if they come to know about it. But yes, you are right, she should report it to Police.

I'll talk to her about it.

Nitin

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifer1881 View Post
Short of taking the law into your hands there is nothing you can do if you do not wish to approach the police.
I am very much a law-abiding citizen, but scums of earth like him make me want to take law into my hands just for this one time!!!

Last edited by bblost : 17th August 2011 at 23:33. Reason: back to back. Please use edit when available. Thanks.
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:04   #7
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Easiest would be to block his number. Nowadays most handsets come with this option. Once blocked, that fellow will just hear a busy tone. Even SMS can be blocked. She can also contact the GSM operator with a complaint. They too can block the calls.

I agree with Manyank. There is no need to lodge an FIR. Take the cellphone to the cops and show the call logs. One call from them and i dont think this guy will repeat this stupid stuff.

Last edited by Pallavi : 17th August 2011 at 16:07.
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:06   #8
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by ntomer View Post
What if he gets hold of the new number too!!! And her number is very old, and changing it would be a huge problem for her.

Nitin
Nitin,

Best is report to cops, as you didn't intend to do that, changing SIM seem to be sensible and safest bet.

Else, let cops track the number and do their piece of work. Convince her to do so.

Cheers
Raghu
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:06   #9
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

+1 to what mayankjha1806 said. Go to the cops, there is no need to file any complaint. The cops can trace the tower from which the guy is calling. After which they will call the guy and pump some sense into his head the cop way.

After which, most guys stop. If not, its something serious, and you will need to report it officially.
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:07   #10
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Save the number. Don't pick up the calls. There can be only a limited set of numbers he can call. If he goes beyond that and takes pains to get more numbers just to continue his antics, then being protective and tradition and conservatism be damned, it should be reported to police. While i understand and am aware that there is a marked difference between the behavior of police in different parts of the country, but if you go to a senior kinda guy, they do help you out.

Last edited by GTO : 20th August 2011 at 14:49. Reason: Best not to use indirect language, as it may be construed as abuse. Correcting
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:09   #11
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

1. There is an anti stalking helpline for Delhi Police which is looked after by women and you can pass on his number to them. You identity can be kept secret if you so desire. You can ask the help of the legal department of your organisation to help in the matter.

2. You can file a legal restraining order.

However, both the above can instigate the stalker further and he could turn violent as well. In such a situation, as suggested by raghu230506, changing her number may be a safer option for the time being.
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:12   #12
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by mayankjha1806 View Post
Dont really have to file an FIR in the police, just go to the police station and talk to the concerned authorities and they would help (They usually start with the bare minimum force needed and then move forward if things don't change).

I am saying this (Although it has happened in BLR), someone kept calling (and SMSing) my wife's number and we went to the cops showed them the proof and what he did there after is to call up the guy and talk some sense (From cops angle) in his head. One call and the guy cooled off and never called/SMS'd again. All you need is proof (like calls/missed calls/Sms's etc)

So no-one else other than me, my wife and the cop knows about this incident (Now you all know). What i mean is that, her family members wouldn't know about it. She can go alone (or along with a friend) or her brother (if one is available and understands the situation).

Most of these cases are nothing and nothing happens (I mean they don't escalate like they used to show in old hindi movies) hence no need to worry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by adidac369 View Post
Hi, have dealt with a few such cases myself.

Call him up and threaten that once reported to police they will strip him till his undies and parade him in his neighbourhood trashing him along the way.
You can also report the matter to the network operator.

Do not panic, these fools are losers who are scared themselves.

Be bold and protect your lady(friend)
Quote:
Originally Posted by raghu230506 View Post
Nitin,

Best is report to cops, as you didn't intend to do that, changing SIM seem to be sensible and safest bet.

Else, let cops track the number and do their piece of work. Convince her to do so.

Cheers
Raghu
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhanushs View Post
+1 to what mayankjha1806 said. Go to the cops, there is no need to file any complaint. The cops can trace the tower from which the guy is calling. After which they will call the guy and pump some sense into his head the cop way.

After which, most guys stop. If not, its something serious, and you will need to report it officially.
Thanks guys, I have made her SMS her complaint to Delhi police helpline (9911135446). Let's see what happens. And if he calls again, before police takes action, we'll go to a police station.

But there is another catch in NCR. The girls lives in a Haryana town, and works in Delhi. And NCR numbers work in Delhi, Haryana (Gurgaon and Faridabad) and UP (Noida and Ghaziabad). If she approaches Delhi Police, will they act on her complaint. And what if the caller doesn't even fall in their jurisdiction?

Nitin
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:14   #13
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

A few more calls to Mr. Braveheart might also help. Considering he is a stalker of sorts, he might also be knowing your friend's whereabouts at times and when/when not she is alone. You called him once and you dont know whether that would help or not. I would suggest make a few more phone calls to him and get stern with him. Make sure he gets the message that you are more often than not around her . More often than not, these idiots are cowards of the first order and persistent calls and some pasting from your end might even get the job done. If not, then others have already mentioned the choices you have.

Last edited by PlatzdaTurbo : 17th August 2011 at 16:16.
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:23   #14
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Pallavi's suggestion is sound: block those numbers permanently. Or save and tag them- my wife gets a "Do Not Answer!" flash when one of these morons calls.

It's more common that you'd imagine and these guys are usually cowards. A calm male voice uttering a carefully placed "police commissioner" should do the trick.
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Old 17th August 2011, 16:28   #15
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Default Re: Need help - An obscene caller stalking a friend

Even if the number is blocked on the handset, it will be sheer mental torture every time the call comes thru and "do not answer" flashes on your mobile.

Best thing to do is to check with the operator to block at their end itself (ie, not allowing the call to come thru to your mobile) or approach nearest police station and ask for their help politely.
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