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Old 20th April 2014, 15:39   #1
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Default The 'Child Adoption' Thread

Hello guys,

Am not sure how much of a touchy topic this is these days but I want some help.

A cousin of mine - married and living with her husband (both Indians) in the USA are looking to adopt a child from India. AFAIK, they own "green cards" and might become US citizens a few years down the line. They own a house and are financially solid.

They have been trying for a child for many years but haven't been successful. My cousin is in her 40's and husband a few years older and doctors also don't give them too many chances after this age for natural offspring.

When suggested about adopting a child from India, they have been hesitant - primarily stating the reason that they need to be US citizens before they can even take steps to adopt a child. I've done some research online and I don't see anywhere where they say that.

The Central Adoption Resource Authority states that "The Supreme Court of India has laid down that every application from a foreigner/NRI/PIO (as applicable) desiring to adopt a child must be sponsored by a social or child welfare agency recognised or licensed by the Government or a Department of the Foreign Govt. to sponsor such cases in the country in which the foreigner is resident. The foreign agency should also be an agency ‘authorised’ by CARA, Ministry of Social Justice & Empowerment, Govt. of India. No application by a foreigner/NRI/PIO for taking a child in adoption should be entertained directly by any social or child welfare agency in India".

Can anyone confirm that they can only adopt if they are US citizens? And how much of a legal hassle is it to adopt from India?

Mods - I did a search for such a thread and couldn't find any information - hence started a new one.
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Old 20th April 2014, 16:37   #2
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Default re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

I have a friend in the US who adopted when she was an NRI, but now she has relocated to India.

In fact adoption for NRIs is easier than for US citizens because the former can provide local addresses, references etc.

Unfortunately Govt approved agencies also have long queues for adoption & couples in 40s are not given priority; they need to move very fast & contact multiple adoption centers & search hard.

Some adoption agencies help jump queue depending on status & donations on offer, although this is unfair to others in queue.

Another option if they are wealthy & keen enough us surrogacy, its an entire industry in Gujarat now.
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Old 21st April 2014, 09:26   #3
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Default re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

The adoption system and rules in India is very vague and discriminating. Two very similar adoptive parents can be treated very differently. Its even more frustrating when it comes to taking the child abroad. The premise is to tackle child trade, but the rules and attitude of adoption centers discourage away genuine adopters too. The hardships faced by the adopters could make the whole exercise unworthy.

I know of a couple staying in India who were harassed by the adoption center for so many years, that at one point, they were threatening to give up the child back to the center even though the child had grown 10 years with them from being a baby! The officers had relented only after that. One more lady I met at the passport office was complaining of being asked to reapply for a passport for the baby 6 times and was being made to visit the passport center over 40 times. She was an NRI but was stuck in BLR for over a year due to this. She was so desperate that she was on the edge of giving up the child due to all the harassment meted out by the passport officer. I do not know the end-result as I didn't meet her again. This story is about 2 years old. I have come across many more stories since I had a friend-couple who wanted to adopt too.

Just as much as I do not want to discourage, the discontent and the frustration become more heartbreaking for genuine parents who really want to give their love to a deserving child, but are not allowed to do so.

Adoption queues in India take years to get processed and there are rogue "brokers" to be wary of too. Adoption papers take years to be processed, and you'll be billed as a trafficker even before u start the process.

@gsurya 's idea of surrogacy is a much better option to explore. Its easier, faster and more transparent too. It requires money, but the returns are far more satisfactory.

All the best!

Prajwal
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Old 21st April 2014, 12:00   #4
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Default re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by naveenroy View Post
Hello guys,

A cousin of mine - married and living with her husband (both Indians) in the USA are looking to adopt a child from India....
I am sure you have already gone through the CARA website which has everything documented.

http://adoptionindia.nic.in/Parents/parent.aspx

In addition to this you can subscribe to the following group and put forth your question, members from the group would help you out.
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!fo...ption-in-india

hope this helps.
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Old 22nd April 2014, 02:34   #5
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Default Re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

My cousin staying in the USA (Citizen) has adopted 2 kids a girl & a boy from India. It was very difficult & time consuming for her to get through the process. However both the times just because of her patience and determination she could go through. Hence its not impossible if someone wants to adopt from here in India.
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Old 22nd April 2014, 06:16   #6
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Default Re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

I guess the couple have considered adopting a child in US ?
I have heard of one couple who did just that sometime last year.
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Old 22nd April 2014, 18:43   #7
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Default Re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

Thank you guys for providing your inputs, really appreciate it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by gsurya View Post
Unfortunately Govt approved agencies also have long queues for adoption & couples in 40s are not given priority; they need to move very fast & contact multiple adoption centers & search hard.

Another option if they are wealthy & keen enough us surrogacy, its an entire industry in Gujarat now.
Yes, age is not on their side. Surrogacy is a good option - any idea on the cost involved? Sorry to talk about this like a simple business thing but surely money will play a big part. Lots of logistics involved too right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by prajwalkashyap View Post
The adoption system and rules in India is very vague and discriminating. Two very similar adoptive parents can be treated very differently. Its even more frustrating when it comes to taking the child abroad. The premise is to tackle child trade, but the rules and attitude of adoption centers discourage away genuine adopters too. The hardships faced by the adopters could make the whole exercise unworthy.
Yes, I guessed as much. As usual, even things of a very personal nature are treated without any consideration! The examples you have given are really saddening! To be hassled even after 10 years? Pathetic!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fillmore View Post
I am sure you have already gone through the CARA website which has everything documented.

http://adoptionindia.nic.in/Parents/parent.aspx

In addition to this you can subscribe to the following group and put forth your question, members from the group would help you out.
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!fo...ption-in-india

hope this helps.
Yes, was reading through the CARA site. Thanks for the link for the child adoption forum. Have joined in there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kiren View Post
My cousin staying in the USA (Citizen) has adopted 2 kids a girl & a boy from India. It was very difficult & time consuming for her to get through the process. However both the times just because of her patience and determination she could go through. Hence its not impossible if someone wants to adopt from here in India.
Yes, surely if someone is determined, they can. But the times involved can be killing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by condor View Post
I guess the couple have considered adopting a child in US ?
I have heard of one couple who did just that sometime last year.
In this case, wouldn't they have to be US citizens?

Thanks for all the help guys. I'm passing along the information as I receive them.

EDIT - just located this information that they have to be US citizens to adopt? - http://adoption.state.gov/adoption_p...ligibility.php

Last edited by naveenroy : 22nd April 2014 at 18:49.
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Old 22nd April 2014, 19:00   #8
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I contacted Missionaries of Charity sisters convent at Bangalore few years back regarding an adoption. They were really helpful in providing all necessary information. You too may please talk to them for some piece of info.

08025474993
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Old 22nd April 2014, 20:04   #9
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Default Re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by naveenroy View Post
Yes, age is not on their side. Surrogacy is a good option - any idea on the cost involved? Sorry to talk about this like a simple business thing but surely money will play a big part. Lots of logistics involved too right?
I am no expert but some points that spring to my mind -
1) If age is not on their side (if the lady is 40+) surrogacy using her own eggs may not be a viable option.
2) Surrogacy can certainly be an option using donor eggs & donor sperm (if needed).
3) Costs differ from metros to small towns, but the rough idea I have heard is that it varies between around 5 to 10 Lacs.
4) Legal logistics will need to be looked into very minutely. I hear that the Dr/hospitals handling this usually have a regular lawyer who looks into this.
5) Unfortunately this is fast becoming a "trade" & one needs to be very careful about the kind of Doctors/ hospitals one is dealing with. There are plenty of unscrupulous elements in this line.

I am apologize if I sound a bit too blunt in dealing with such a sensitive issue.
Regards,
AJ
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Old 22nd April 2014, 22:18   #10
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Default Re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

Naveen, looks like non citizens can also adopt in the US. Please ask them to check there itself.
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Old 23rd April 2014, 18:49   #11
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Default Re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

Surrogacy is a very good option as it does not have the many disadvantages adoption has.

Your own DNA and traits etc.
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Old 24th April 2014, 11:00   #12
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Default Re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

Just few points to consider. First and foremost: In the adoption process, the primary criterion is to protect the interest of the child. Prospective parents come next only. Also, I don't think the approved/legal child care centers (who can give babies/children for adoption) strictly look at any queue. They will try to place the available child to the best possible adoptive parents available. Some of the earlier posts highlight the difficulties faced by the parents. Compare that with the inconvenience caused during the normal child birth, right from start of the pregnancy, throughout the duration of it, then the process of delivery, till the child reaches 6 months of age. Think of the inconveniences during these 1.5yrs. It is ok, as it is the price to pay for getting that "bundle of joy", right? If the couple has the real urge/want for a child, then these inconveniences are nothing but minor hurdles to tackle with.

There has to be some sacrifices to earn the proud title of Father & Mother. All boils down to the level of desire for a child. If they are ready to relocate to India for couple of years (this is what one of my friend did), this adoption procedure will become relatively easy. In this case, one can follow the in-country adoption process (listed in the CARA site).

Once the registration & home-study is done, one must visit few child-care centers, hand-out your registration details/documents and collect their contact details. You have to then keep calling them every other week to show your impatience and want for a loving child. They should understand your want for a child and how desperate you are. Remember, they place their children in the best possible home they can find. A mere registration is not good enough.

It is better to follow legal route and adopt only from the CARA approved adoption centers. Also please note that, initially you will be appointed only as a guardian. Full adoption status can be sought only after 3-4 years of guardianship.

If you are looking for an infant for adoption, you might get a 4-5months old. It is not possible to get a younger one than this, and typically the birth-certificate is applied/given post the child is given under guardianship. In this case, the parents name in the birth certificate will be yours. This is a huge relief in many many places. (btw, this is true in Kerala. Not sure about other states).

One last point. Please go only through legal/CARA way. There is no need to shell out huge money as well. The hardships/anticipation/ups/downs/time/money/off-from-work etc etc are comparable between getting a child through normal pregnancy and through adoption route.

On a lighter note, you are guaranteed to get a fully-healthy child through adoption. The same level of guarantee is not there in the pregnancy-route.
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Old 28th April 2014, 13:19   #13
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Default Re: The 'Child Adoption' Thread

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Originally Posted by psvinay View Post
Also please note that, initially you will be appointed only as a guardian. Full adoption status can be sought only after 3-4 years of guardianship.
Just to clear the air,the parents are foster parents till the court order declaring the foster parents as parents comes through.Now a days the court order usually comes through in a years time and at some locations the physical presence of the parents are not required as the home authorities represent you in the court for the hearing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by psvinay View Post
This is a huge relief in many many places. (btw, this is true in Kerala. Not sure about other states).
Most of the states have adopted this now,like you mentioned its a huge relief.

Also one more point is that make sure one submits the Foster Deed or the adoption court order when applying for passport for the child for the first time alongwith the birth certificate,this is to avoid later complications for the child.And no the passport does not mention anywhere that the child has been adopted.
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