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Old 19th April 2016, 18:59   #46
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Default Re: Life in your 40s

Often times I face situations where I have to chose between family, passion(doing what you love. Be it work or hobby), money. Each time, one has to be wise with the choice . The magic age of 40 is also when your body runs out of warranty(it stops taking abuse). So treat it with care. Again, simple rules. Eat on time, Sleep on time & well, Be healthy (not necessarily slim & 6 packs).
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Old 19th April 2016, 19:13   #47
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It's good that you are thinking of the future. I would only reiterate some of the points already made:

1. Make a habit of saving. This doesn't mean you can't have fun. Just strike a balance and make a habit of saving some amount away for the long term. You can start an SIP for even small amounts monthly and it will keep growing. And keep an eye on your expenditure. Otherwise a few years down the line, you will be left wondering where all your money went.

2. Take care of you health. Older you get, more difficult to get back in shape.

Do keep these things in mind because the years will pass by before you know it. Pink Floyd's lyrics come to mind:

Quote:
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.


So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter; never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.
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Old 19th April 2016, 19:54   #48
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Default Re: Life in your 40s

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Originally Posted by Venkatesh.C View Post
The magic age of 40 is also when your body runs out of warranty(it stops taking abuse). So treat it with care.
There is no magic age if you service the body 3-4 times a week.

When I turned 35, my dad told me I had reached the magic age. That means I have to stop all mad physical activities and slow down. I re-joined a Karate school instead.

Ten years later I asked my dad whether I have reached the magic age. He smiled and said "Times are very different now. What applied to me, didn't apply to you. What applied to my father, didn't apply to me".

He lived longer and healthier than his father. Last year he passed away at almost 83. Until his last day he was active, even took the bus to go buy groceries. He used to speed walk 4-5kms everyday till the end.

Oh, that's another thing. 40s is the time when most of us start losing our previous generation. Nothing really prepares you for that.
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Old 19th April 2016, 21:26   #49
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I'm not in my 40s yet, just turned 30, but hear me out.

My 20s were an amazing journey.
My time in a foreign country pushed me to step out of my comfort zone. Right from getting utilities hooked up to home, to cooking and feeding myself to balancing my finances. This has broadened my horizons, made me mature like none other and helped me come out of my shell. Towards my late 20s, I was blessed with and given the responsibility of becoming a father.

It's not all positive things during the 20s, I made plenty of mistakes too. The worst of which is I started smoking cigarettes - it was the most difficult thing ever to give up. I also wish I had taken school and my teens much more seriously (education wise). Well, you know what they say about hindsight.

My advice to you is:
  1. Stay healthy, exercise and eat right. No smoking, even if you just want to try it once.
  2. Prioritize creating memories with loved ones over material possessions. You can show photos of your family vacation to your grandchildren, but the latest iPhone will be obsolete within 2018.
  3. Always step out of your comfort zone. Be it making new friends, experiencing a new culture, traveling, etc. Don't make the mistake that many people do of sticking to their own group (based on language, region or nationality)
  4. Learn something new everyday - whether its a new language, sport, skill or hobby.
  5. Read any good material you can get your hands on - daily publications, blogs, books, industry trends, etc.
  6. Start investing for the long term - Let the power of compound interest work its magic.
  7. Be careful with money- borrowing/lending money to friends/family always mostly ends disastrously.
Hope this helps.
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Old 19th April 2016, 21:41   #50
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Oh, that's another thing. 40s is the time when most of us start losing our previous generation. Nothing really prepares you for that.
Agreed, and it's pretty sad. The predicament is that the world expects you to have grown-up to accept these realities, but the child in you never wants to forgo your parents and you never want to forget the time you spent with them and your own siblings. Life, as they say, has to go on.
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Old 20th April 2016, 01:43   #51
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Very good thread.

I am in my early thirties, and i did not save a penny before my wedding which happened 3 years back. Yet i did it. I made it.

I am into IT and i did not get an onsite opportunity for the first 9 years. All my mates were settled in US by then. Life is a toll gate. I stuck to my lane. If you shift to the other lane, the original lane will seem to go faster.

So instead of worrying by comparing with my mates, i took to my passion and became a guitarist and even performed at events. My first guitar was 3000 INR. I was able to forget comparing and focused on my strengths. I am the only one in my whole batch to have learned a music instrument from college. Now i know that this is what i want to do for the rest of my life.

So, it was a satisfying experience devoid of money from 20 to 30 for me. Once i got married , i began to value money and now i am in a comfortable position.

When i am 40, i will be working and also playing with my buddies and whiling my time away to passion and glory(May be).

So get out there, experiment, sweat it all out, most importantly discover yourself before you get the responsibilities.
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Old 20th April 2016, 07:49   #52
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Default Re: Life in your 40s

Lead a healthy life style & enjoy guilty pleasures. Invest more as your expenses are low. Learn more about finance & investment. Use compounding to make you wealthy.
Live life for yourself for not impressing others.

One thing I would change was, I knew about investment but invested small but now realize that those were days I should have taken higher risk. Invest & trading r different.

Good luck young man- u seem far mature than I was at your age
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Old 20th April 2016, 10:44   #53
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@ thread starter: I have a single question. Why so serious? In your twenties, you are actually thinking and imagining life in your forties? Huh? I didn't seem to have the time to think about 'uncles' and 'aunties' at that age.....
Jokes apart, its an interesting question, brings us to the great question, what lies ahead, which I believe was the source question for all great discoveries and exploration that we as humans achieved.
IMO my life has been on a roll since school, and age is just a number, which humans use to measure, just as 120/180kmph is a number on the speedometer, which is meaningless when on a cruise on a 8 laned highway, but may be hairy on a 2 lane twisty road. I don't believe in measuring unto what I have achieved 'by a particular age'. If I did that, I would be a rat in the great rat race, and it would involve comparing myself against others, leading to either overwhelming joy and sense of achievement or misery and jealousy depending on the results. I am 36 now and for the first 6 years post my mba, I worked in corporate drudgery, doing IT business consulting and handling large teams for big software companies. Ran through a couple of companies looking for a happy work-life, but realized soon enough that I couldn't live in the corporate jungle running on a static spinning wheel making money for some unknown god in the sky. Decided to join my childhood love, aviation and I have been very happy since. Now every day is a happy day and work is not really work, with the benefit of being payed rather well for doing what I love. As I said before, I wouldn't judge my life trajectory on a chart, comparing with others, my way of evaluating myself is to see if I am happy doing what I do and living the life I choose to live. At the same time, I do ensure that I have enough financial security for my wife and me, and we are not lacking for a rainy day. I don't believe in keeping a bucket list of things to do before I reach xyz or before I die. I choose to live life in such a way as to have zero regrets if I expire the next second. I also believe in fitness and I am a gym regular going at least 5 days for serious workout with metal, it helps me in De-stressing, keeps me fit, helps preserve the six packs, and I will go gymming as long as I can do it.....
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Old 20th April 2016, 11:02   #54
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There is no magic age if you service the body 3-4 times a week.
Samurai San, agree. You started your preventive maintenance :P from 35. Those who don't(am looking at myself) will learn that the body simply stops taking abuse close to 40 and says 'woe be to thou who abuses me thus'. No?
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Old 20th April 2016, 11:21   #55
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Samurai San, agree. You started your preventive maintenance :P from 35.
Ahem, I started at 15. At 35 I had just moved back to India and my dad was worried I didn't know it was time to stop.

But you can start late too. Moderator Ajmat joined Krav Maga in his mid 40s with no prior background, and taking it well into the 50s now.
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Old 20th April 2016, 11:26   #56
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Default Re: Life in your 40s

The 20s are amazing. But 40s feel like being born again
Thats Me.
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Old 20th April 2016, 12:03   #57
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A gem of a thread, I am 44, thus qualify to add two cents , most of it overlaps with some great inputs from our esteemed members.

I bread up in small town and in middle class background as eldest kid, the childhood was fun, so were the schooling and sports encounters. I was regarded as full of spark in academics as well as sports, however never managed to provide justice to those expectations, thanks to the trait of "master of all ...." add to it mistakes and lack of career guidance.

Fast forward into career, followed the bandwagon of computer engineering graduates (from an institute that can barely be called average). However in hindsight the timing was right as the boom started in IT sooner.

Started with an inhouse IT (EDP) @ Rs1500, no regrets at that at all. The job has given me the first taste of travel, visiting offices spread all over India to install and deploy software applications (mind well time before internet boom), cultural sensitivity add technologies like VAX/VMS, SCO, Ingres, COBOL to fiddle around. The learning on the job (and off) was profound. As life takes it did moved companies, in the process the roles switched from programmer, system analyst , Tech/Team Lead, Solution Designer et al..

Joined a services major that has provided the stability, abroad assignments and in the same period pesonal front sorted with marriage and an own apartment, car (now a mini fleet of it). Slowly over years added with the reposnsibilities in the form of kid(s).

Probably another change (or a mistake!) was to pick management stream bit early. The services business meant managing larger people pool (150+), skewed resource mix and continuous fight with clock to meet deliveries that too one after another. There was gruelling times, 15hours working+2 hours commute, escalations for breakfast/dinner and NO attention to physical exercise, finally it took a toll on health. The first sign of mid-life hit me in style.

After spending painful 6 months with lesser mobility, realised the importance of health and relations. I did my profound retrospective and decided to slow down on job front, gone back to yoga, cycling and TT and embraced hobbies ( trekking, long drives and reading) and wife deciding to leave job (for paying attention to kids) was another big..

Moved from services management to a smaller product company, that too bang in heart of city (comuting time saved). Although has taken a hit on earnings, but helped me to balance the priorities.

I have the topsy-turvy moments all my life, however consciouly build on thoses experiences (good and bad) and mistakes. The forties brings experiences and abilities to look @ the situation in neutral manner (over getting worked up) and move forward. It also makes you better organised (finances, liabilities) ,responsible individual, one who can care for society (not just self).

.. so dont consider forties as taboo, instead enjoy the life responsibly.
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Old 20th April 2016, 12:39   #58
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Originally Posted by JonSnow View Post
It's good that you are thinking of the future. I would only reiterate some of the points already made:

1. Make a habit of saving. This doesn't mean you can't have fun. Just strike a balance and make a habit of saving some amount away for the long term. You can start an SIP for even small amounts monthly and it will keep growing. And keep an eye on your expenditure. Otherwise a few years down the line, you will be left wondering where all your money went.

2. Take care of you health. Older you get, more difficult to get back in shape.

Do keep these things in mind because the years will pass by before you know it. Pink Floyd's lyrics come to mind:
This really good advise Jon Snow. You really know lot of things unlike the real Jon Snow.

You have really opened up my eyes. Saving i think is the most important part of job life. Especially if you are in Tier-1 city the school fees have sky rocketed,health care etc.
Admin- Is there Thread on school managements shenanigans in TIER-1 cities. If not lets start one?
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Old 20th April 2016, 12:41   #59
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Post deleted by the Team-BHP Support : Please do NOT post messages that add little or no informational value to the thread. We need your co-operation to maintain the quality of this forum.

Please read our rules before proceeding any further. We request you to post ONLY when you have something substantial to add to a discussion.

Last edited by GTO : 22nd April 2016 at 10:49.
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Old 20th April 2016, 13:00   #60
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Default Re: Life in your 40s

Leaves - thats what its all about.
Take as many as you can and smoke them to the last damn minute.
Life happens in the gaps. Life is to be lived in the gaps. Dont fill those gaps with thoughts and plans.
Take minutes off, days and months if you can.
You may end sooner than the world, so make the best of your time.

Working, earning, saving, all that happens. Its a consequence of everyday life. Its call the grind.
The timing between planning and execution is when life happens.
You can choose either one - life or the plan. Yet, its good to have a plan in life, but dont stress over it.
Dont miss the 20s. Live wild.
Add some more speed in the 30s when the world is slowing you down. Take good care of your health.
By the time you hit your 40s you better have no regrets. You better be ready for the next wild innings to begin. If you are living your 40s like your 20s, you are certainly blessed.
When you hit 50 you surely will have stories to tell instead of unrealized dreams killing you everyday. Be a role model of how to use those leaves effectively.
In the end, its all about leaves. Take as many as you can and smoke them hard. Make them worthwhile.
I hope the meaning of 'leaves' is not misconstrued
Finally, i get to explain what i smoke

Last edited by jaysmokesleaves : 20th April 2016 at 13:04.
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