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Old 24th April 2016, 10:10   #91
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Default Re: Life in your 40s

Interesting topic. Well I have completed 36 years this month and to come across such thread makes me really think about future especially to really guess how would be life in 40s. And yes it is scaring to see parents getting older. That's the only fear as I have currently as I have seen my friends losing there parents due to old age or some other medical reasons.

I guess I never noticed how quickly the time between 20s to 30 went. Even when I completed 35 I was not that much introspecting life. But now I suppose its time for some introspection.

One of the few things which I miss is life in metro city! As I have never experienced living in Metro Cities. My City is a small place and people who are young never stay back here due to lack of opportunities. Almost all of my friends moved out. And yes I have never been abroad and may not go in future due to current profession which is very much local stuff. That is also one thing I miss a lot.

And about being content I am doubtful about its definition. Health is important to us so I have started looking after it and trying myself to become fit. One of the important events I count in my life is owning a car and joining this forum. And yes in spite of knowing that buying car is not a wise decision still feel its worth. Even it is a depreciating asset it balances by adding value to our life and certainly gives us happiness that's what I have experienced!

So I would conclude that health is wealth and one should value relationships. May be 40 is just an even number!
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Old 24th April 2016, 10:20   #92
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RonXRi94, The question you have asked at 21 shows you are a serious person with your head screwed right. I am sure you would be very successful.

The blunt truth is that for most of us, our career peak will be in our 40s' especially if you are in the IT sector / live in a western country. It is only in government that you might continue to rise through your 50s & 60s. That realisation that your career is at its zenith at your current position will give you either peace or frustration.
This will again depend a lot on your financial position (see posts above). You will view life a lot differently with different priorities.

You have got some great feedback to mull over, but don't forget at 21, you also have the best few years of your life just ahead of you. They are just a handful of years of utter freedom.

Enjoy your youth - you will never get this period back, go on an aimless motorbike ride (if you are a rider), see where the road takes you, sleep rough / in the open on a beach, trek some mountains etc etc - any number of things you will only be able to do now with the freedom of youth; before life's responsibilities bear down upon you.

You don't need a superbike to see India - in my youth during the 1980s a 100cc bike was more than enough to go long distance riding. You don't need lots of money - as a single guy, you can slum it. Decades later, I have memories of some unforgettable rides just because we decided to go off the main highway to follow a thin line on the map and just ride.

Sorry, I just can't agree with the person who asked you to marry early. Yes, you will be free of kids by the time you are 45, right at the peak of your career & responsibilities - do you think you will have the time to do all that you want to do?

ENJOY YOUR YOUTH!

All the very best!
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Old 24th April 2016, 12:30   #93
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I'll give you a slightly different perspective. Mid-30s, never married, living abroad, earning well I suppose. At least more than I can spend reasonably.

I get to travel anywhere without worrying about diapers and baby insect repellants, change my country of residence at 2 months notice without worrying about kids' schools or wife's career. Having kids rewards you a lot, but it takes away a few things too. That's not me speaking, but my friends with kids, and that's all of them now.

If you are that type of person that is comfortable with yourself, don't let society bully you into getting married earlier than you want just to please them. Only you should take the call.

Flip-side, living alone is no joke either. You make and loose friends like nobody's business every time you change your city or country of work.

Cherish time with your parents, especially if you plan to leave the nest one day. Once you do the math, after 18 you just have a few months worth of time left with them spread over the years.

Don't waste time. "Today's the youngest you'll ever be again".
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Old 24th April 2016, 13:52   #94
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We'll I'm myself 25 and can very well relate to this question. Thank you all for sharing your experience and advice with us, will surely hold us in good stead.
I would like to ask as to how was the experience of noticing a complete overhaul in the Indian car space?
Obviously in your teenage years you would have grown up on the ambassadors, the Fiats, the premier Padmini, contesa etc. Maruti came up with the 800 which totally overhauled the Indian car scene. That event would have taken place during your childhood I guess, would like to know how was the feeling as a child to have such a modern car by then standards.
Then Dr. Manmohan Singh opened up the Indian economy in the 90s and we had all the global giants coming to India. First Hyundai, daewoo and Opel came in the 90s. Then the Japanese giants Toyota and Honda entered. The Americans, Chevrolet, Ford etc. too joined the party. And finally we had the europeans. Here I'm talking only of the cars, but we all know that in the 90s, every sector witnessed a revolution.
Would really like to know how did it feel having gown up and lived through such a massive change. How was the whole experience?
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Old 24th April 2016, 14:43   #95
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Interesting thread! I just completed 40 and my perspective is that marriage and kids change your life completely! My wife and I were a little too liberal with spending and not thinking anything about the future, but along came our little princess and changed our view completely and we tightened our purse so much that it became air tight! . We had Excel sheet based monthly target to save up for our future and sacrificed many things on the way to achieve those financial goals. We purely followed Gandhiji's principle of earning more and spending less. In retrospect, we both feel that we did a great thing for a few years as this has made us financially strong. Now that we are reasonably secured financially, we can pursue other goals or choose to make our position much more stronger, but let me tell you that the first step is the biggest and the most difficult in this regard.

What you should be watchful about is 'mid-life-crisis'. Now this hits most people in different ways. Some lucky people escape this, but many people suffer in various ways such as break in career and related issues, misunderstandings with loved ones, health issues, financial issues to name a few. One needs to be prudent in taking precautions to totally avoid or at least minimize these. Always take your loved ones into confidence in times of difficulties as they are your full support in these testing times.

But, in the 40's there's so much to dream of and experience. Continue learning and make time for those little things you always wanted to learn. This will enrich your life.

Cheers,
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Old 24th April 2016, 19:16   #96
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Iam going to be 40 this year, I have a okay-paid technical job in IT company and a happy family life. I started my career doing all sorts of jobs, need to struggle initially for 2-3 years after graduation.

They say as you become old, you get experience. Experience is at the end counts.

Life begins at birth!, so enjoy it.. meet new friends, stay positive in life.

Since you are 21, you should take, health insurance, term insurance, start mutual funds etc. go for holidays, spend time with family, you got only one life, so make it count.
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Old 24th April 2016, 23:33   #97
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Read all the replies to the thread. A man thinks he's here forever, so builds & manages his life accordingly. I guess the thought that life is temporary strikes somewhere around 40s, to some it may strike much later or some just live with the belief that they are special & meant to stay forever.
So never forget the 1st lesson, life is not permanent, you ain't coming back again, this is the time, its yours & won't come back again. So, do what you want to, what you think is good/right for you.
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Old 24th April 2016, 23:38   #98
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Originally Posted by AWD View Post
Read all the replies to the thread. A man thinks he's here forever, so builds & manages his life accordingly. I guess the thought that life is temporary strikes somewhere around 40s, to some it may strike much later or some just live with the belief that they are special & meant to stay forever.
So never forget the 1st lesson, life is not permanent, you ain't coming back again, this is the time, its yours & won't come back again. So, do what you want to, what you think is good/right for you.
That's poignant, enlightening, depressing, and true, all at the same time.
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Old 25th April 2016, 12:05   #99
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Originally Posted by Ferruccio View Post

On Attitude
7. Always be the best read, best dressed, politest, most positive person you know. I was blessed with great role models to observe and emulate early in my career – JRD and RNT
Brilliant! This is the best message for me! I really like this quote. I try to follow this personally but was never able to put these principles into words!

You have mentioned JRD and RNT at the end of the message - what do they stand for?
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Old 25th April 2016, 12:16   #100
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Brilliant! This is the best message for me! I really like this quote. I try to follow this personally but was never able to put these principles into words!

You have mentioned JRD and RNT at the end of the message - what do they stand for?
JRD, stands for 'Jehangir Ratanji Dadabhoy Tata' .
RNT, stands for 'Ratan Naval Tata'
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Old 25th April 2016, 12:19   #101
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You have mentioned JRD and RNT at the end of the message - what do they stand for?
I think they are code words for former Tata Group Chiefs.
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Old 25th April 2016, 12:43   #102
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I am 42, a medical professional working in-charge of a unit in a busy corporate hospital at Hyderabad. Finished my studies at 30, married same year and kid 5 years later. There was tremendous pressure over me to clear medical entrances right from my school days which continued till I cleared PG and then super PG. Once in the job, pressure to perform and look better than others overpowered which killed almost every bit of enjoyable time in the life.

Now, as I have achieved a stage where the institute depends on me and not vice versa, I find myself more bound to responsibilities than before. It is like more you walk in mud more you are gripped ! My peers who settled for less look more contented, though that is my angle of looking at them. Still, my sincere advice to people in their 20s is savour every bit of your life before you get dumped with responsibilities and pressure to perform. And equally necessarily, inculcate habit of small savings right from beginning of your career and get your insurance started at the early age so that at the peak of your career you don't have to worry for increasing financial needs. All the best !!

Last edited by vashisth : 25th April 2016 at 12:53.
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Old 25th April 2016, 13:19   #103
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Logged in after a while and found this thread. I am in my early 30s and find this amazingly insightful. Absolutely love and respect the advice out here. I have only gone through the first couple of pages and this has become my favorite thread right now!

One thing that I have followed in my life so far is believe in my instincts. I am not sure how life would pan out and I do want to retire by 45 perhaps. So probably working backwards to the plan. I have never been financially prudent, and I mean never but now my daughter is 2 and I seriously try to save a specified amount every month.
And yes, all I can advise is family is probably the most important thing in someone's life. My daughter has made my life worth it and even after endless mind numbing days of her filmy drama, I would not have her in any other way.

Last edited by pratyush6 : 25th April 2016 at 13:28.
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Old 25th April 2016, 20:01   #104
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Superb advice all around. As a 28 year old, seems to be on a good track except the health and smoking advices! Need to work on those.

As guy who failed academically, just did enough for parents to not kick me out of their house when doing my bachelors- to getting married to super cool and intelligent girlfriend of 7 years, earning more than enough (alot really) for our requirement, moving from large corporates to small startups, life has come a long way in last 5-10 years.

What I have understood in the last few years- the time durations have reduced for changes. I have lived much more in last 10 years than my dad in 25 years. By the time RonXRi94 is anywhere near 40 (or me ) , things will be completely changed. Mine/his experiences widely different.

The original requirements when getting married and starting our careers- own home, a child are not our priorities already. A flat will be bought in near future for investment and taxes but we rather live near our workplaces on rent and spend time with each other than commuting.

On the children front (not trying to hijack the thread or get the discussion somewhere else) we have never been able to answer why and when. Haven't been able to choose how we want to spend the next 20 years of our lives. A child is a complete responsibility and we wouldn't want to do anything half hearted. That just means a completely different life planning which we are not sure of. Hopefully our next generation leaves homes at 18 to fend on their own, and we can go back to enjoying alone.
Parents and in-laws may just stop talking to us now


But somethings will be the same over any time periods- like most of the members have said-

1. Make sure you save enough money from early age, then the Europe backpacking tour can be planned in 20's (and you get in a habit of targeted savings) Europe is less fun later that.

2. Travel every month- even if it is just for 1 night. Last year wifey and I made a pact and have been able to to do it for the last 6 months. We get a break from our jobs and adds values to our relations. Jobs are tough today with stress which does result in petty misunderstandings and fights- a break every month helps to reboot, learn and fall in love again.

3. Make (and keep making) friends and take efforts to work on them- You might go wrong with a few, but they teach you the most. With families distanced by 1000's of km, friends become the families. I have a good circle and they take off 50% of my worries in any situation.

4. Buy a good camera(yes, spend on this, phone cameras don't do justice) - click and print the pictures- they will make a lot difference when you look back every 5 years.

5. Have regrets/fail - they motivate you to do better. Not everything works out, everyone has some regrets even when they say no. Failing is the next best thing, worst mistake number 1 in an Indian household.

6. Invest- Most of us go wrong/handover money to someone elder to invest. Invest in MFs, Stocks or whatever tickles you. Make a target of 15% annual returns. Losing, earning in investments on your own will teach you things that your job never will. Start small and you will learn. With none of us ever getting any pensions, this is the only way to retire in style.

7. Take risks in choices even if people call you a fool- I have not done this myself yet, but have seen close friends do it an come out tops. Sometimes there is no rationale, not explanations but something that gut tells us. I am very practical which makes me overthink some decisions. This is what you are doing at 21.

Last, enjoy a lot- I had left my last job because I was not learning anything in it. Married for almost 2 years and no job in sight, worst mistake number 2 in an Indian household. Last 2 months in the job, we enjoyed every weekend like prohibition was about to start. This was six months back. Now when we look back that was the best time we spent. Of course getting another good job makes it better. Best memories do come from craziest ideas
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Old 26th April 2016, 11:43   #105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sagarpadaki View Post
JRD, stands for 'Jehangir Ratanji Dadabhoy Tata' .
RNT, stands for 'Ratan Naval Tata'
Perfect. Wouldn't you agree that there can be few better human beings to emulate for a young man commencing his career?
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