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Old 28th June 2007, 11:27   #2026
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If nothing else, this guy will cure you of English permanently.
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Old 28th June 2007, 11:44   #2027
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Holy Crap! What in God's name is that!!!
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Old 28th June 2007, 11:47   #2028
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ROTFL !!!
You find such posters near these nomad kinds who out up their tents in various places, and claiming to cure one of diseases.
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Old 28th June 2007, 12:01   #2029
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ROFLMAO !!! Gas trick and kidneys that store stones. Read that kinda english for a few days and your are cured of the "angrezi disease". one really good find there divy.
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Old 28th June 2007, 12:03   #2030
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Quote:
Originally Posted by benbsb29 View Post
ROTFL !!!
You find such posters near these nomad kinds who out up their tents in various places, and claiming to cure one of diseases.
Why do you think Sam travels so much. Put a JBL speaker near a kidney and thump the stone out.
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Old 28th June 2007, 12:24   #2031
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msdivy, that picture did our entire office staff a lot good. Everyone is falling off their chairs laughing their backsides off!

EDIT:

Best ones ..
Gas Trick - how tricky
Skin deseases who become marriage - Goodness I thought love becomes marriage
Urine Unable to come - it needs evacuation ..

Last edited by moralfibre : 28th June 2007 at 12:28.
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Old 28th June 2007, 13:43   #2032
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moralfibre View Post
msdivy, that picture did our entire office staff a lot good. Everyone is falling off their chairs laughing their backsides off!

EDIT:

Best ones ..
Gas Trick - how tricky
Skin deseases who become marriage - Goodness I thought love becomes marriage
Urine Unable to come - it needs evacuation ..
And what on earth are shankroids and ger childrens?
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Old 28th June 2007, 15:45   #2033
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Just got a forward on email. Worth a read.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...

__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
Hello To Viewers My Name is Ramya , I am single i dont have male, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore .. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Ramya ~*~
(Truly yours)
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

What Homework???

_____________________________________________
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
I am simple girl. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck. now i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
I want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? What the hell...)
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH. I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY THEY ARE
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing {laughing})
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
Whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
Infact she doesn't know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
I love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of 'ok'. The person is Suffering from 'Ok-syndrome')
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
Iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & Mother. sister completely married

(somebody please explain how to get married completely'?)
( Confused ????? )
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
My name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

Height of desperation!
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
Iam kanandevi. i do own businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)
(Plz for gods sake ask somebody's help in framing sentence )
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________

Hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...

(but credit cards not accepted..???)
(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit's??????? Is there anything like that.)
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.
Zebra..???)
(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color )
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Old 28th June 2007, 17:58   #2034
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Great posts from divy and moral. I fell off my chair laughing. Literally.
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Old 28th June 2007, 18:17   #2035
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Default Alonso's Letter to his cousin

Quote:
To Cousin Pedro, Preston, Idaho

Hola hombre

Ay ay ay, no es bueno!

Too bad your cousins could not lend you a ride to the USGP, but maybe next year is better time to come.

I am sorry to say this but I have the difficult time in F1 right now. Not with Schumacher either. You remember him from last year. I called him the smiling assassin. He smiles at you while driving you off the road. His wife, she make him stop racing so he is not in F1 any more.

I have the difficult time with my new ingles team, Mac Laren. They say they give me the fastest car on the grid. They even know about you. They say, "Hey, we got a Pedro like your cousin Pedro, too - Pedro de la Rosa, he will be your team-mate next year."

But when I get there, they say "amigo, big change of plan". Is no longer the Pedro guy, is the Lewis guy. They hire the fast young black driver to upset me. As soon as they know they have No.1 on their car, they don' care about me.

Okay, so I know you hear this story before.

I remember the letter I send you after the Chinese Grand Prix last year. You know "Renault don't want me to win, Ferrari have paid Flavio $10 million to give goodbye present to Schumacher". Maybe I go poco loco that time.

But this year I know is true Mac Laren don't want me to win. Because they are making all the big sponsorship deals with Lewis. I am a double campion del mundo, he has sat in a car for seven races.

And they never see the real side of Lewis Hamil-ton

Dios mio! if the public knew the truth about the real Lewis Hamil-ton. He is not this sweet kid with the good manners. The minute the journalists go and the TV cameras are switched off, he turns back into his real self, the gangsta rapper.

His first words to me when I get into practice debriefing is, "Yo ya Spanish mo fo!"

I cannot explain what "mo fo" means but trust me Pedro, is bad bad phrase. At the last grand prix there is this US guy who wants to sign up Lewis. In the garage I hear him say to Lewis's father: "The kid aint got no bling Ant-ny." But actually Ron has banned Lewis's bling from fly-away races because of the weight restrictions. If they weighed Lewis's bling it would probably be the same weight as Takuma Sato.

When Ron Dennis tell us that we are free to decide our own fuel strategy for the USGP Lewis says "Fo sho, G dawg!" and when he and his mechanics have decided it in secret, he tells them "Bruthas, keep it on the D. lo."

That is why I am not comfortable at Mac Laren. They know what they have to do to make me comfortable.

1. Lewis must talk properly all the time..

2. I would like a full apology over what happened to the Spanish Armada.

3. They must hand back the Malvinas.

4. Manuel in Fawlty towers must be dubbed as 'Jerzec', the stupid Polish waiter.

5. Nobody to remind me that General Franco also came from Asturias and liked getting his own way, all the time.

We shall see how Mac Laren respond. I tell you soon

Hasta luego

Your cousin, dancing queen.
!
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Old 28th June 2007, 18:30   #2036
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Couple goes to zoo which is almost empty, they go near the gorilla's cage. The gorilla comes near these couple, seeing this the husband says to his wife remove your clothes and lets see what it does.
Wife hesitates at first, but later she says ok and gets naked, the gorilla goes bonkers on seeing her.
The guy then pushes her into the gorilla's cage and closes it.
he then says to his wife
" Now tell him that you have a head ache"
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Old 28th June 2007, 20:18   #2037
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A heart surgeon takes his car to a mechanic for repair. While on the work, the mechanic says "Its so strange that we both do similar kind of job, you operate on heart and I operate on very complex engines and associated systems. Both requires quite good amount of expertise and patience. But unfortunately I dont get even half the recognition or even quarter of your income. Dont you think this world is being unfair to people like me?"

Doctor replies, "Well, may be. But there is a small difference though. I have to operate while keeping the "complex system" running. See if you can do that!"

Last edited by appuchan : 28th June 2007 at 20:20.
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Old 29th June 2007, 20:48   #2038
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Man says to his wife: 'Darling what would you like for your birthday?'
Wife replies: 'Oh, something that will do, 0 to 60 in under 3 seconds'
Man buys wife a bathroom scale.
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Old 30th June 2007, 14:03   #2039
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A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies....

"Tch Tch!" said the passer-by to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help."

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin', sir."

"Fishin', eh? Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?"

The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"

Got it from here
Old Man Fishing
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Old 30th June 2007, 14:57   #2040
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A photo taken at my hotel, a sign in the elevators on one of my recent tours

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