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Old 10th September 2007, 16:49   #2251
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Quote:
Originally Posted by typeOnegative View Post
5 routers, 5 switches. ROTFLMAO.
My colleague and I are having the splits while few others are wondering what's wrong with us.
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Old 10th September 2007, 17:24   #2252
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Miss teen USA..... 'i personally belive' ROTFLMAO.!!!!
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Old 14th September 2007, 02:48   #2253
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Default A dog named.....

A Dog Called Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot." I
call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went
to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I
would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!"
Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked
like. I said, "You don't understand ...I have had Sex since I was nine
years old."
He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to
have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was
over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole
world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my
personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone
would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at
the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then
on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When
we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me
and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the
motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me
awake at night."
The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began,
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking
around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said
that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said,
"I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and
I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said,
"Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was
married."
The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A
cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock
in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex."
My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more troubles
with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went
for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems
to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left
me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely."
And the doctor said, "Look, mister, you should understand that sex
isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."
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Old 14th September 2007, 16:51   #2254
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Just Heard this, may be old.

Santa: How much is one plus one?

Gajodhar : Eleven!

Santa : One plus one makes two, you fool, how can it be eleven?

Gajodhar : Its eleven, For example: Take one Lalu, Add one Rabri devi, You get nine kids hence Eleven.
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Old 14th September 2007, 17:02   #2255
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A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door and kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes, "i mean," she whispers, "i would do anything..."

He returns her gaze, "anything?"
"Anything."

His voice softens, "anything?"
"Anything!" She repeats.
His voice turns to a whisper.
"Would you... Study HARD?"
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Old 14th September 2007, 22:36   #2256
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What happened when the capacitor slept with the resistor?
.
.
.
.
Current Affairs.
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Old 19th September 2007, 14:26   #2257
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Old 22nd September 2007, 00:16   #2258
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Rtech... nice ones pal...
FIAT is a good one...
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Old 22nd September 2007, 16:09   #2259
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Quiz show answers


(ITV)
Host: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'.
Contestant: Doctor.
Host: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.
Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) . . . Doctor.

(BBC MIDLANDS)
Host: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Host: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Host: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Host: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.

(BBC2)
Host: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Host: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
Host: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

THE WEAKEST LINK
Host: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Host: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific

ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Host: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . .
Host: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Host: Ha ha ha ha, no.

Last edited by theMAG : 22nd September 2007 at 16:11.
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Old 22nd September 2007, 18:31   #2260
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Here is one joke I have just received

Before Marriage - - -

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
>
After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top.
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Old 22nd September 2007, 20:26   #2261
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sreenivass - This is a nice one...!
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Old 22nd September 2007, 21:54   #2262
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@sreenivass - that was a real funny one
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Old 23rd September 2007, 15:30   #2263
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Thanks V1kram and munish, here another one from quote of the day Google

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
- Mickey Rooney
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Old 24th September 2007, 15:05   #2264
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Good one sreeni.

Here's one from me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet ,
not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says , "Dark in here."
The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves, let's
go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"
The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...
that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that **** again ,you're in MY closet now."
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Old 24th September 2007, 15:40   #2265
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