The Official Joke thread - Page 199 - Team-BHP

Prabal · 5th July 2008, 23:58

Did an advanced search and couldn't find this anywhere, so I suppose this would be fresh! Moreover, no offence meant to anyone:

What are Santa Claus' juniors called?
Subordinate Clauses!

Eddy · 6th July 2008, 01:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prabal

Did an advanced search and couldn't find this anywhere, so I suppose this would be fresh! Moreover, no offence meant to anyone:

Hi, this is Condor logging in from Eddy's ID. Sorry, but this has been posted here...... TWICE

Quote:

Originally Posted by brainscooper

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeroid

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

amitpunjani · 6th July 2008, 15:02

Hi all,

Enjoy the new Merc Logo

Amit

condor · 7th July 2008, 15:20

Quote:

Eddy

: Hi, this is Condor logging in from Eddy's ID. ...

I'm logging in twice at the same time ? Looks like I will have to do something about the duplicate login through Eddy's ID !!

diabloo · 8th July 2008, 11:56

Height of BHPian's Anticipation: Following a thread where 2 Newbies reply to each other

Rehaan · 8th July 2008, 13:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by diabloo

Height of BHPian's Anticipation: Following a thread where 2 Newbies reply to each other

That is a good one - but i guess the moderators get the punchline before the others

cya
R

rippergeo · 8th July 2008, 22:35

this might work on people hogging the inside lane on highways. found the pic here [Imagedump] April 2008 - Part 2

normally_crazy · 8th July 2008, 22:40

Why not have a duplicate joke thread ? Lets see who posts the maximum number of jokes already posted in the original joke thread. :d

Just joking off course.

speedzak · 9th July 2008, 03:58

These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:

1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.

4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]

12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

WOW!!

speedmiester · 9th July 2008, 13:36

Just got this in a email.

hrag · 9th July 2008, 15:48

Please delete if offensive:

Men's Room, "Writing on the Wall"
Until I discovered women, $ex was a pain in the a$$

speedmiester · 9th July 2008, 17:45

PJ ka baap.

Q: What is the opposite of "Manchester United"?

A: "Woman Breasts R Divided"

amtak · 10th July 2008, 13:30

Difference between Potentiality and Reality

Youngest Son: "Tell me Daddy; what is the difference between 'Potentiality' and 'Reality'?"

Dad: "I will show you"

Dad turns to his wife and asks her: "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: "Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity"!
Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 Million dollars?
Daughter: "Wow! Yes! He is my fantasy!"
So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: "Would you sleep with, Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder Son: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million Dollars! I would never hesitate!"
So the father turns back to his younger son saying: You see son, 'Potentially' we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in 'Reality' we are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay.

Am I getting a comment from Condor?

Eddy · 10th July 2008, 13:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by amtak

Am I getting a comment from Condor?

Of course:

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post188002 (The Official Joke thread)

This is fun

. Well done condor.

amtak · 10th July 2008, 14:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eddy

Of course:

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post188002 (The Official Joke thread)

This is fun

. Well done condor.

I am so sorry for the duplicate Condor sir!

Will have to think of an original Joke

5th July 2008, 23:58	#2971 (permalink)
Prabal BHPian Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Delhi/Pune/Kolkata/Schwarzenfeld Posts: 94	Did an advanced search and couldn't find this anywhere, so I suppose this would be fresh! Moreover, no offence meant to anyone: What are Santa Claus' juniors called? Subordinate Clauses! Last edited by Prabal : 6th July 2008 at 00:00.

6th July 2008, 15:02	#2973 (permalink)
amitpunjani BHPian Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Delhi Posts: 90	Merc New Logo Hi all, Enjoy the new Merc Logo Amit Last edited by amitpunjani : 6th July 2008 at 15:10.

8th July 2008, 11:56	#2975 (permalink)
diabloo BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Bengalooru Posts: 975	TBHP Joke Height of BHPian's Anticipation: Following a thread where 2 Newbies reply to each other __________________ NHC - City of Life !! - Symbol of Luxury ________________

8th July 2008, 22:35	#2977 (permalink)
rippergeo BHPian Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: cochin Posts: 824 View My Garage	this might work on people hogging the inside lane on highways. found the pic here [Imagedump] April 2008 - Part 2 Attached Images __________________ People who complain about their cars being too powerful, don't know how to drive.

9th July 2008, 03:58	#2979 (permalink)
speedzak Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Bangalore. It's feeling good. Posts: 3,414 View My Garage	Actual School Excuse Notes!!! These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country: 1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33. 4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. 7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. 8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. 9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. 10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.] 12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. 13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. 14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. 15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears. 16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. 17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. 18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. 19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. 20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. 21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. 22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor. WOW!! __________________ The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced!!

8th July 2008, 22:40	#2978 (permalink)
normally_crazy Team-BHP Moderator Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 3,693 View My Garage	Why not have a duplicate joke thread ? Lets see who posts the maximum number of jokes already posted in the original joke thread. :d Just joking off course.

9th July 2008, 13:36	#2980 (permalink)
speedmiester BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: bangalore Posts: 274	Evolutio of Highway Robbery!!! Just got this in a email. Attached Images __________________ *"My car is not leaking oil, she is just marking her territory"*

9th July 2008, 15:48	#2981 (permalink)
hrag BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Bangalore / Madras Posts: 792 View My Garage	Please delete if offensive: Men's Room, "Writing on the Wall" Until I discovered women, $ex was a pain in the a$$ __________________ 2003 March Tata Indica V2 LSi 90K km 1997 February Bajaj KB125 RTZ 48K km

9th July 2008, 17:45	#2982 (permalink)
speedmiester BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: bangalore Posts: 274	PJ ka baap. Q: What is the opposite of "Manchester United"? A: "Woman Breasts R Divided" __________________ *"My car is not leaking oil, she is just marking her territory"*

10th July 2008, 13:30	#2983 (permalink)
amtak BHPian Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Fulltime Mumbaikar...Yippie!!!! Posts: 832 View My Garage	Difference between Potentiality and Reality Youngest Son: "Tell me Daddy; what is the difference between 'Potentiality' and 'Reality'?" Dad: "I will show you" Dad turns to his wife and asks her: "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars"? Wife: "Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity"! Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 Million dollars? Daughter: "Wow! Yes! He is my fantasy!" So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: "Would you sleep with, Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars"? Elder Son: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million Dollars! I would never hesitate!" So the father turns back to his younger son saying: You see son, 'Potentially' we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in 'Reality' we are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay. Am I getting a comment from Condor? __________________ E V O L V E D! Last edited by amtak : 10th July 2008 at 13:32.

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