The Official Joke thread

[neoranjit]

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy birthday". I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, "Good morning boss, happy birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me". I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment". After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back". "OK", I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and coworkers, all singing "Happy Birthday". And I just sat there... On the couch...


Naked...

[kuttapan]

Originally Posted by muneemmk

KUTTAPPAN's STORY


Kuttappan is a Mallu working for a multinational company in Mumbai. Not
well educated and he is working as a peon. Whenever Kuttappan hears somebody
talk, he will come in between saying that I know that very well I know him
very well like that.
---------------------------------
LESSON FROM THIS STORY *

NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE A MALAYALI

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Please don't delete this after reading, you should at least send this
mail to:

10 Malayalis & you will receive coconut oil

40 Malayalis you will receive Lungis

100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the
lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's supply of
coconut oil and banana chips free.

!!!!

I am not sending Lungis to anyone, I tell ya !!

See http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/introd...-kuttapan.html (Hello from Kuttapan)

[Superleggera]

Another email Fwd - THink before you resign

[Godfather]

Originally Posted by kuttapan

!!!!

I am not sending Lungis to anyone, I tell ya !!

See http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/introd...-kuttapan.html (Hello from Kuttapan)

hahahahaha.. i was just about to tell muneemmk that we have a member by that name.

Goddy

[speedzak]

Originally Posted by neoranjit

I just sat there... On the couch...


Naked...

It's not everyday that I break a thunderous laughter waking up my kids and wife.
Well.. I had to wait till she goes back to sleep before I could post this.

[prashant.dinkar]

The small guy says: "Turner Brown, Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,

"Turn around."

I am in office right now and WAS feeling bit sleepy ....after reading this I laughed out so loudly that almost whole floor started looking in the same direction.

Amazing man!!

[Mission_Safari]

Originally Posted by neoranjit

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy birthday". I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn't say a word.

.........
. On the couch...


Naked...

Ranjit,

When i finished the first paragraph of your post, I thought you were talking about a real life incident. Only later did i realize that you wouldn't be discussing these things in public

[condor]

neoranjit : Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning.

. And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked...

I suspect the gang was singing something on the lines of "Many Happy Returns ..." and not "Happy Birthday".

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/112026-post410.html (The Official Joke thread)

He seems to end up celebrating his b'days in the same fashion every couple of years ! Or may be it's his secretaries.

[nishantgandhi]

Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
************ ********* *****
In a Podiatrist's office:
Time Wounds All Heels.
************ ********* *****
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals--on Wheels
************ ********* *****
At a Proctologist' s door:
To expedite your visit, please back in.
************ ********* *****
On a Plumber's truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed
************ ********* *****
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!
************ ********* *****
On a Church's Billboard:
7 days without God makes one weak.
************ ********* *****
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.
************ ********* *****
At a Towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.
************ ********* *****
On an Electrician' s truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts
************ ********* *****
In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
************ ********* *****
On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push!
************ ********* *****
At an Optometrist' s Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
************ ********* *****
On a Taxidermist' s window:
We really know our stuff.
************ ********* *****
On a Fence:
Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!
************ ********* *****
At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
************ ********* *****
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.
************ ********* *****
In a Veterinarian' s waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
************ ********* *****
At the Electric Company
We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.
************ ********* *****
In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in
and get fed up.
************ ********* *****
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully! We'll wait...
************ ********* *****
At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank heaven for little grills.
************ ********* *****
And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
Best place in town to take a leak
************ ********* *
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

@muneemmk, see this link:-

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/introd...-kuttapan.html (Hello from Kuttapan)


We have already seen that.

[jkdas]

A SHORT STORY


Ramya was about to leave office after finishing her work. She got a call
from her husband Karthi,

RAMYA(R): "Hello, yes Karthi".

Yes, I can, I need your password"
(K): "jeni22091980"
(R): "Ok fine"


She takes the print out and logs out. Some thought struck her mind now.
JENI happens to be his college mate. Hmmm...


She decides not to discuss this with Karthi. She simply opens her mail box
and changes the password from "mohan143" to "karthiramya" and leaves for
home!


MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!

[ankitahuja]

Originally Posted by jkdas

MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!

Haha Good one jkdas!

I wonder if Jeni and Mohan are together now

[neoranjit]

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
NOW --------
Enough of that crap . . .
The donkey later came back and bit the $hit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your a$$, it always comes back to bite you.

[diabloo]

What was her old password? jeni22091980? or mohan143?

Originally Posted by jkdas

> (K): "jeni22091980"
> She simply opens her mail box
and changes the password from "mohan143" to "karthiramya" and leaves for
home!

[dicorex4x4]

We've all seen those windshield stickers saying "Doctor", "Engineer" "Advocate" etc.




P.S. No offence meant to the company.