The Official Joke thread

[gowda79]

Raju was invited to his friend's home for dinner.

Boju, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.

Raju looked at Boju and remarked, "That is really nice. After all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names."

Boju hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

[AvinashKeezh]

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

[speedzak]

There was one group on a tour bus. The guide asked if anyone could tell the rest a joke.
A man thereupon stood and said he will tell a good joke about americans. Suddenly, another stood up and says: No! Don't do that. I'm an american.

The guide looked at him calmly and said: that's ok buddy, we'll explain it to you later.


Guys! It's a joke. No offence to anybody.

[kuttapan]

Once, a group(of 40) from my college went to Goa. Vijay, a very enthusiastic chap, was part of the group. He got lost in one of the beaches and the group did not realise until later. One of the girls in the group, however, spotted later that Vijay was no more in the bus. The bus went back and a manhunt began. They were unsuccessful, so it was decided to take the matters to police. Off they went, to the nearest police station and explained that one member was missing from their tour party.

The police officer asks - "Is that guy's name Vijay, by any chance?"

The whole group is surprised now and ask the officer how he could possibly know the missing person's name.

He says - " Oh, that's easy ! Vijay came to the station a while ago and lodged a complaint that one bus and 39 people were missing !!!"

[ramie2400]

kuttapan now thats really funny man

[mb_jg]

Originally Posted by diabloo

People are saying this since 2005 !

07th April 2005 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...post68638.html
27th June 2005 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...post94735.html
27th February 2006 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ost182491.html

Damn you have a lot of time to research what has been posted before

It's just a very spontaneous joke, maybe that's why it was posted earlier.

Ok, here's one that might make you smile,

Q) What do you get when you cross a Donkey with an Onion???





A) A piece of As$ that brings tears to your eyes!

[vinayvtec]

Check this : Bar da Boa

BE PATIENT & PLEASE, wait for the lady to appear, then ...

2. WRITE YOUR FIRST NAME IN THE 1st LINE.

3. WRITE the name of the person who irritates you a lot in the 2nd LINE

4. Press the VISUALIZAR bar.

[srijit]

That one is great Vinay. I'll just capture the video and save it to my system

[speedzak]

Little Johnny and his girl were walking along a trail in the woods.

Suzy noticed that some of the animals were behaving oddly. "Little Johnny, why is that rabbit on top that other one?" she asked.

Little Johnny stopped to consider his answer, and replied, "They're making cigarettes."

"Cigarettes?" she exclaimed, as they continue walking along. Pretty soon, they approached a couple of raccoons. Suzy asked, "Are they making cigarettes too?"

"Yea," says Little Johnny.Suzy looked around and said,

"It looks like all the animals are making cigarettes, why do not we make cigarettes?" Little Johnny was quick to say, "OK!"

An hour or so later Little Johnny and Suzy were walking out of the woods, when she asked, "Little Johnny, what kind of cigarettes did we make?"

Little Johnny stopped to think about his answer, and then replied, "Well if you get a hump in your belly it's a Camel, and if you don't it was a Lucky Strike."

[Ford Rocam]

Now that Bill Gates has retired from Microsoft what happens if Laloo takes his position, we have Laloo's version of O.S

[rupinder]

LIE DETECTOR!
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school.
Tommy was over 2 hours late.
'Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?' asked John.
'Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,' said Tommy.
The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
'Son,' said John, 'this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.'
'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.' said Tommy.
'What did you watch?' asked Marsha.
'The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'
'I am ashamed of you son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.'
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, 'Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!'
With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

[iraghava]

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake.

After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had casket buried upside down..."

[vinayvtec]

Wow, what a great Night Out Permission Slip...

[speedzak]

Baaifriend ke saath beit kar bhaiyya kehna mana hai!!


Somebody provide a proper translation please!! I am in loss of words!

[speedzak]

Mandela is enjoying a hearty breakfast - bacon, eggs, coffee,croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc. when Bush, chewing gum, sits next to him and starts a conversation:

Bush: "You South Africans eat the whole bread?"
Mandela: "Of course."

Bush (blowing bubble with his gum): "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle, re-bake them into croissants and sell them to South Africa."

Mandela: "Oh Really?"

Bush: "Do you eat jam with the bread?"
Mandela: "Of course."

Bush (chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth): "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and left over's into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to South Africa ."

Mandela: "Do you have sex in America?"
Bush: "Of course we do."

Mandela: "And what do you do with the condoms?"
Bush: "Throw them away of course."

Mandela: "We don't. We pack them into containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to America."