Go Back   Team-BHP > Around the Corner > Shifting gears


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 27th August 2008, 15:24   #3151
BHPian
 
SumitBahl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Chandigarh
Posts: 975
Thanked: 218 Times
Default

Yup
Refreshes some old memories.
Got this in email today.
SumitBahl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th August 2008, 16:47   #3152
Senior - BHPian
 
ramie2400's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 1,900
Thanked: 58 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SumitBahl View Post
15.) Everyone has a 'massi' in Canada, and a 'bhua' in UK

17.) A new year's bash is incompete without a fight

18.) Any party is incomplete without a fight

19.) Everyone has some political connection

24.) Spending upto Rs 2 lacs on number 0001 for a car's number plate does not raise any eyebrows

25.) Kinetic Honda scooter is referred to as Kiney and Bullet bike as Bullt

32.) Everyone's been to the Rock Garden and hate to show it yet again to family friends/relatives from other cities

36.) A new car, bike etc. first comes to the Gehri route n later to the gurudwara or mandir

48.) A good lookin car turns more heads than a pretty girl
This is soo very true,I noticed in a 6hrs of stay in chandigarah.

Point 48.ohh the girls are soo very pretty and sure are the cars
ramie2400 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th August 2008, 18:21   #3153
Senior - BHPian
 
harry10's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Faridabad/Delhi
Posts: 2,216
Thanked: 554 Times
Default

FBI job opening

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the
background checks, interviews and testing were done, there
were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test,
the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door
and handed him a gun. ‘We must know that you will
follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair
. . . Kill her!!’ The man said, ‘You can’t be
serious. I could never shoot my wife.’ The agent said,
‘Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take
your wife and go home.’

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the
gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5
minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, ‘I
tried, but I can’t kill my wife.’ The agent said,
‘You don’t ha ve what it takes. Take your wife home.

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the
same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun
and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after
another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the
walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened
slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her
brow. ‘This gun is loaded with blanks’ she said.
‘I had to beat him to death with the chair.’
MORAL: Women are crazy. Don’t mess with them

Last edited by aah78 : 29th August 2008 at 04:55. Reason: Text format tags removed.
harry10 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th August 2008, 21:02   #3154
BHPian
 
flipsyde's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Chennai
Posts: 636
Thanked: 58 Times
Default

@harry10 - LOL!!! Really good one!!
flipsyde is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th August 2008, 23:32   #3155
Senior - BHPian
 
sammyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Gurgaon/Doon
Posts: 1,736
Thanked: 337 Times
Default

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom...
in beer there is freedom...
in water there is bacteria!!!
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering, fermenting etc etc!
Remember: Water = Poop, Liquor = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink liquor and talk **** than to drink water and be full of ****!
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service...
sammyboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st September 2008, 11:42   #3156
BHPian
 
amitpunjani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Delhi
Posts: 451
Thanked: 101 Times
Default HR Manager

Dear Manager (HR), Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Vivek works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Signed - Project Leader

NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) for my true assessment for him.

Last edited by ajmat : 1st September 2008 at 13:03.
amitpunjani is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd September 2008, 18:47   #3157
Senior - BHPian
 
Gordon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 2,420
Thanked: 162 Times
Default

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago?”, the homeless woman replied.

“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked “No, I don’t waste time shopping?”, the homeless woman said.

“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked. “Are you NUTS?” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

The woman replied, “That’s Okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine”
Gordon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd September 2008, 00:56   #3158
Senior - BHPian
 
iraghava's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bhaiyyaland
Posts: 8,028
Thanked: 153 Times
Default

Gordon - I think you're going to be "Condor'ed" soon!
iraghava is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd September 2008, 01:34   #3159
BANNED
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: London
Posts: 5,012
Thanked: 147 Times
Default

Chicken Eating Thermocol

Cyrus43 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd September 2008, 01:43   #3160
BHPian
 
nitroxx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: DXB
Posts: 817
Thanked: 26 Times
Default

Question: WHY would you start running if a blonde throws a pin at you??

Answer: Coz the hand grenade is still in her mouth...
nitroxx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd September 2008, 10:17   #3161
BHPian
 
punterccrx8s's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 715
Thanked: 36 Times
Default

One night,an old lady was listening to the radio news.There was an emergency.She calls her husband,

OLD LADY:Honey,be careful,there is one psycho on the highway driving on the opposite lane.
OLD MAN:ONE?There are hundreds of them!
punterccrx8s is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd September 2008, 10:34   #3162
Senior - BHPian
 
suman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Gurgaon
Posts: 4,589
Thanked: 256 Times
Default

LOL, Condor, where are you
suman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th September 2008, 08:14   #3163
Team-BHP Support
 
bblost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 9,615
Thanked: 6,416 Times
Default

Harley - Respect
bblost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th September 2008, 08:23   #3164
BHPian
 
1self's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Pune
Posts: 627
Thanked: 266 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bblost View Post
Mind blowing to say the least!!!
1self is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th September 2008, 16:48   #3165
BHPian
 
ramki067's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: BANGALORE
Posts: 548
Thanked: 25 Times
Smile Newton in Romantic Mood...

Universal law of Love:

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

************ *
First law of Love:

" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "

************ *
Second law of Love:

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "

************ *
Third law of Love:

" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."
ramki067 is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

« Recession Again ? | - »

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time for a Holiday Joke? Steeroid Shifting gears 9 24th December 2005 20:51
A Nelson joke Dippy Shifting gears 6 8th September 2004 23:12


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 21:17.

Copyright 2000 - 2017, Team-BHP.com
Proudly powered by E2E Networks