Go Back   Team-BHP > Around the Corner > Shifting gears


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 14th March 2009, 15:54   #3526
Senior - BHPian
 
ASHISHPALLOD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: BRMT
Posts: 1,987
Thanked: 284 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GTO View Post
What brands will look like post-recession!
post recession, how will team-bhp's logo look like?
Name:  1.gif
Views: 1539
Size:  27.2 KB

no offense meant, just fun.
ASHISHPALLOD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2009, 17:50   #3527
BHPian
 
toiingg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Calcutta
Posts: 599
Thanked: 67 Times
Default

We could change the Tagline to 'Hypermiling the Indian Automotive Scene'

toiingg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2009, 19:35   #3528
Senior - BHPian
 
harry10's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Faridabad/Delhi
Posts: 2,217
Thanked: 549 Times
Default

Got this in an email today -

A Sardarji and his wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.


When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The Sardarji explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.


The Manager appears, listens to the Sardarji, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them", the Sardarji complains.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.

'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' sardarji complains again.

'Well, we have them, and you could have', the Manager replies.


No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the sardarji replies 'But we didn't use it'. The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Sardarji finally gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.


The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check.

'But sir,' he says, 'this check is only made out for $100.' 'That's right,' says the sardarji, 'I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife.'

'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.

'Well,' the Sardarji replies, 'she was here, and you could have.'

Last edited by aah78 : 1st April 2009 at 04:02. Reason: Tags removed. Run through Notepad before Copy-Pasting.
harry10 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2009, 21:42   #3529
BHPian
 
benkey2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: chennai
Posts: 95
Thanked: Once
Default

Received today in my mobile.

Two terrorists were having a discussion in a bar. A local guy walks in and asks them, what the discussion's about?

Terrorist: we are planning to kill 14 crore indians and a donkey?

Guy: why a donkey?

Terrorist to another terrorist: see i told u know, nobody in India will care about human life.
benkey2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2009, 22:07   #3530
BHPian
 
sanjayatarizona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: "God's own Shaap"
Posts: 352
Thanked: 5 Times
Default And Then the fight started

Nicked this one off another forum i visit regularly:
Very apt for the married folks ..

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
& And then the fight started ...

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy
****. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He
smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast
as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the
woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security offic e.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 160 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
sanjayatarizona is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2009, 22:30   #3531
Team-BHP Support
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 11,785
Thanked: 9,315 Times
Default

Sanjay

Sorry -you are condored

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/1157393-post3455.html
ajmat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th March 2009, 16:53   #3532
Senior - BHPian
 
karankapoor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: in the car!!!
Posts: 1,679
Thanked: 2 Times
Default

when did BMW launched this.
Attached Images
 
karankapoor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th March 2009, 17:01   #3533
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: in a Toyota!
Posts: 2,686
Thanked: 593 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by karankapoor View Post
when did BMW launched this.
cost cutting, environment friendly, sign of the times, zero emissions and the economic recession makes you do things you dont want to do!

things to come in future!
Parm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th March 2009, 17:06   #3534
BHPian
 
josepeter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 415
Thanked: 546 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by karankapoor View Post
when did BMW launched this.
Looks like a poor PS job to me!
josepeter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th March 2009, 17:20   #3535
Distinguished - BHPian
 
SS-Traveller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 6,584
Thanked: 10,611 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by karankapoor View Post
when did BMW launched this.
Oh boy! BMW's latest - the 4LD - 4-leg drive - offering for taking on the Indian Himalayas. I think Tanveer posted a debadged hairy model of this in his travelogue!
Attached Images
 
SS-Traveller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th March 2009, 00:27   #3536
BHPian
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: ludhiana
Posts: 197
Thanked: 3 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parm View Post
cost cutting, environment friendly, sign of the times, zero emissions and the economic recession makes you do things you dont want to do!

things to come in future!
well i dont think it has zero emissions .it has emissions in all states of matter . liquid ,solid and gas.

it is also said that 'zarrurat padne par gadhe ko bhi baap banana padta hai'.here they have made only made a vehicle out of a donkey
rupinder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th March 2009, 14:34   #3537
Senior - BHPian
 
narayan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Singapore
Posts: 2,714
Thanked: 1,052 Times
Default

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL BY A MALAYALI VILLAGE GUY

Madam:
I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Thiruvananthapuram. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Kerala. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am a jolly gay . Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top.That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon, Yours and only yours Kutty

Last edited by narayan : 27th March 2009 at 14:37.
narayan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th March 2009, 18:49   #3538
BHPian
 
DriverR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 322
Thanked: 158 Times
Default Corporate views on a Baby's delivery

The different views in the Corporate world on a Baby's delivery…

1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

3) On-site Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months. (time tracker…)

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby. (ratings, Customer Satisfaction Index…)

And lastly...

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
DriverR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st March 2009, 22:37   #3539
BHPian
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 222
Thanked: 2 Times
Default

Had a nice laugh today morning reading this.
Old memories from TBHP

Marketing Head Ferrari (LOL! Mkt Head Ferrari claims Indian Octavia with Quad cam,Turbo,Supercharger,7 Speed)
abhijitaparadh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st April 2009, 01:41   #3540
Senior - BHPian
 
X-Machine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Mumbai/Tokyo
Posts: 1,476
Thanked: 11 Times
Default

Got this in my inbox today.

Due to recession, I sacked my Girlfriend (part of my cost cutting efforts) I need new one, so pass on this information to your female friends...please this is urgent (only females)

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below:

Designation: Junior girl friend (trainee)

Experience: Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)

Other requirements: Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fights if required.

Age: 18-23 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross (Monthly):
• 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
• bike rides each duration 1 hour
• trips to National Highways
• 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Iskcon Temple
• Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
• Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
• 2 movies per month (on weekends)
• Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Please NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral program by referring their friends, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume thru email or post.

Subject:
Name/fresher-exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment to the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photos will be rejected.
X-Machine is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time for a Holiday Joke? Steeroid Shifting gears 9 24th December 2005 20:51
A Nelson joke Dippy Shifting gears 6 8th September 2004 23:12


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 05:52.

Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Team-BHP.com
Proudly powered by E2E Networks