Go Back   Team-BHP > Around the Corner > Shifting gears


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 8th October 2010, 23:02   #4381
Senior - BHPian
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 2,455
Thanked: 64 Times
Default

@SILVERWOOD: All those seem to be Chuck Norris facts with the name Rajinikanth inserted in place of Chuck Norris.

Now run before either of the two reach where you are!

Last edited by Jayabusa : 8th October 2010 at 23:04.
Jayabusa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2010, 16:34   #4382
BHPian
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: mumbai
Posts: 78
Thanked: 3 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayabusa View Post
@SILVERWOOD: All those seem to be Chuck Norris facts with the name Rajinikanth inserted in place of Chuck Norris.

Now run before either of the two reach where you are!
You surely are not aware about this:

Rajnikanth met Chuck Norris once. The rest, as they say, is history.
dark_horizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2010, 17:29   #4383
BHPian
 
driving_smartly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Navi Mumbai
Posts: 476
Thanked: 211 Times
Default

Got this SMS from my friend

While many in India are busy pondering
where RAM was born,
the Australians are wondering
why LAXMAN was born
driving_smartly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2010, 22:19   #4384
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 10
Thanked: 0 Times
Default

A woman brought a very limp duck into a Veterinary Surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the Vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the Vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, Your Duck is Dead--passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the Vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador dog. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The Vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The Vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The Vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" She cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The Vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it is now $150." !!
Safedriver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2010, 23:02   #4385
BHPian
 
Speed Pujari's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 429
Thanked: 385 Times
Default

One guy went to a zoo. There on the main gate he saw people curiosly purchasing peeled peanuts. He asked the hawker behind so much of sale. The hawker said that there is an interesting monkey inside for whom people are purchasing these peanuts for.

Curiously this guy also bought peanuts for 2 rupees and went inside to check the monkey out.

He saw the 'special' monkey inside a cage. That man gave him one piece of peeled peanuts. The moneky without any hesisation took it, put it in his rectum, pulled it out, crushed it off and ate the peanuts.

The man gave him another peanut and the monkey did the same.

Surprised and feeling insulted, the man called the caretaker to know the reason behind this act.

The caretaker said, "Sir it is not your fault. Few months ago one gentleman like you came and fed dates to the monkey. The monkey had the dates but the seeds never came out. He is so much worried since then that he always measures the seeds before eating".

Last edited by Speed Pujari : 9th October 2010 at 23:04.
Speed Pujari is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th October 2010, 13:47   #4386
BHPian
 
anonymous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NCR
Posts: 564
Thanked: 15 Times
Default

I hope Santa Banta Jokes are allowed. If not, please delete this
Santa - Mere pass gadi hai, paisa hai, bank balance hai, banglaw hai.....Tere pass kya hai
Banta - Mere pass bhi gadi hai, paisa hai, bank balance hai, banglaw hai.
Santa - Abe to Maa kiske pass hai.

Superstar Rajnikanth's Email Id
gmail@rajnikanth.com

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bapu View Post
While on the topic of the Commonwealth games and Mr. Kalmadi.

Got this as a sms :

So many pullouts of the Commonwealth Games could have been avoided if Kalmadi's father had pulled out at the right time
This is . I wish we had more than 2 smilies allowed


Note from the Team-BHP Support Team: Please use the "edit" button if posting within 20 minutes of the first post, instead of creating another back-to-back post.

Last edited by Rudra Sen : 15th October 2010 at 14:23.
anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th October 2010, 02:04   #4387
Senior - BHPian
 
silversteed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PGT//BLR//STR
Posts: 1,986
Thanked: 1,402 Times
Default

A few things American movies have taught us:
1. The Chinese have nothing better to do than teach and practise Kung-Fu and Karate

2. More than 50% of the US population are FBI or CIA agents

3. If a man has survived a mishap with a lady, he's entitled to a (French) kiss no matter if he'd met that lady only on that day

4. The purpose of schools system in the US is to promote basket ball, baseball and rugby.

5. Aliens have a special liking towards the US while invading the earth.

6. You are the one responsible for the survival of mankind.

7. During a violent chase, the vehicles involved, including tyres are bulletproof

8. When you desperately need a bike to flee, you will find a super bike on the parking lot and the owner would've forgotten the keys on it.

A few things Indian movies have taught us:

1. One of the twins is always born evil.

2. If you decide to diffuse a bomb, you will always cut the correct wire. By the way, all bombs come with a timer display and two wires one of which is the fake fuse

3. A man won't show any pain while enduring violent blows but he would wince in pain when a female tries to clean his wounds.

4. An officer can solve a case only if he's suspended from office.

5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone would know the steps properly

- Received as an SMS forward
silversteed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th October 2010, 02:15   #4388
BHPian
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NOIDA, Manchester & Cardiff
Posts: 565
Thanked: 43 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vamsi.kona View Post
I have heard of others but this one is zimbly
No. This one is a Googly from Google.
akj53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th October 2010, 04:49   #4389
Senior - BHPian
 
vivekiny2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: cincinnati, jabalpur,chennai
Posts: 1,241
Thanked: 163 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by silversteed View Post

- Received as an SMS forward
more like an LMS forward. which carrier allows that ?
vivekiny2k is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th October 2010, 14:35   #4390
Senior - BHPian
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 2,455
Thanked: 64 Times
Default

One guy to another guy-
Mere paas twitter, facebook, orkut account hai.
Tere paas kya hai?
(I have a twitter, facebook, orkut account. What do you have?)

Other guy politely replies-
Mere paas kaam hai!
(I have work!)
Jayabusa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2010, 12:23   #4391
BHPian
 
rohan_iitr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 992
Thanked: 401 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
I hope Santa Banta Jokes are allowed.
Yes Santa-Banta jokes are definitely allowed. But lets call them Mr. Santa and Mr. Banta (without using their surname), so that we don't offend people from any particular community.
A warning though - don't repeat any Santa-Banta jokes, or you'll be Condored !
Rohan
rohan_iitr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2010, 16:14   #4392
Senior - BHPian
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 2,455
Thanked: 64 Times
Default

Wife: Shall we try a different position tonight?

Husband: Excellent idea!

Wife: U stand at the sink and wash dishes and I'll lie on the sofa and watch TV.
Jayabusa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2010, 18:49   #4393
Senior - BHPian
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Kochi
Posts: 2,147
Thanked: 143 Times
Default

Boss:- Do you believe in life after death?

Employee:- "No; certainly not; there is no proof of it!!!"

Boss: "There is now. After you left yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you".
BaCkSeAtDrIVeR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2010, 18:57   #4394
Senior - BHPian
 
McLaren Rulez's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Mysore
Posts: 2,375
Thanked: 474 Times
Default

Dunno if this has been posted here but search the term "recursion" using Google.

Nice one by Google!!
McLaren Rulez is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2010, 19:08   #4395
Senior - BHPian
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Kochi
Posts: 2,147
Thanked: 143 Times
Default

McLaren, hope you mean the "Did you mean ...." link!!!
BaCkSeAtDrIVeR is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time for a Holiday Joke? Steeroid Shifting gears 9 24th December 2005 20:51
A Nelson joke Dippy Shifting gears 6 8th September 2004 23:12


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 15:30.

Copyright 2000 - 2017, Team-BHP.com
Proudly powered by E2E Networks