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Old 6th August 2011, 20:17   #4951
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

How do I increase my download speed? Well, it's pretty simple..

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Old 7th August 2011, 04:02   #4952
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Check out Bawatips on FaceBook,they are a laugh-a-ton
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Old 7th August 2011, 22:36   #4953
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There is also a place called "this'. i mean its not spelled that way in Hindi but in english its offending.

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PS: please feel free to remove if offending.
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Old 9th August 2011, 10:34   #4954
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Default Effect of recession

Chacha kaise ho?

Chacha: ab kya batau…. Bada beta share broker hai… doosara beta Jet Airways mein hai… teesra Software Company mein aur… Ladki Lehman Brothers mein…..

Sabse chhota Panwala hai… Bus Wohi ghar chala raha hai!

translation:

Uncle how are you?

Uncle: what shall I say... eldest son is a broker, second one works for Jet Airways, third one is in a software company... and my daughter works for Lehmann Brothers

but it's my youngest son who runs the house... - he is a panwalla
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Old 9th August 2011, 10:46   #4955
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prateekm View Post
How do I increase my download speed? Well, it's pretty simple..

look for troll physics, on G-dev.
Its simplistic, nonsensical yet makes sense, and hilarious!
there's even a few perpetual-motion machines a few guys have made!
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Old 9th August 2011, 11:21   #4956
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mayankk View Post
I heard this from Facebook.
How?! voice activation?
Edit: or was it an audio file

just kidding, dont hit me
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Old 9th August 2011, 11:32   #4957
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Originally Posted by selfdrive View Post
How?! voice activation?
Edit: or was it an audio file

just kidding, dont hit me
you got me, professor clumpus!!
actually, my friend read out the status of one his friends....
.
.

fibbing.
no graceful way out,hence i concede the error of my grandma!
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Old 9th August 2011, 13:00   #4958
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Subject: How Bad It's Gotten in America since the Recession to the present market crash?

It has hit everybody really hard...

My friend got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Moron with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds" you call them and ask if they meant yours or theirs.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are still looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, ...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
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Old 9th August 2011, 13:06   #4959
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Nice ones. But I was confused about this one. Did you mean Mormon by any chance?
Quote:
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Subject: How Bad It's Gotten in America since the Recession to the present market crash?

I saw a Moron with only one wife.
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Old 9th August 2011, 14:15   #4960
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Default Save The Boss??

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in loud discussions during office time.....

Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss" They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire. We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection.


One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
.
.
.
.
.
"About 1 litre. "
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Old 9th August 2011, 14:15   #4961
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Break up: The easy way.

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Last edited by benbsb29 : 10th August 2011 at 05:44. Reason: Corrected spelling of 'break'.
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Old 9th August 2011, 15:12   #4962
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Newpunter View Post
Nice ones. But I was confused about this one. Did you mean Mormon by any chance?
Yes..mormons indeed. This piece was one those doing the rounds, and I missed that while doing ctrl+C - ctrl+v.
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Old 10th August 2011, 13:53   #4963
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Announcement in University:

"The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them"

Another announcement after 20 minutes:

"The 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes"
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Old 11th August 2011, 17:21   #4964
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MODERATOR NOTE:

Post Edited. Do not post in Bold for no specific reason.


A naked & drunken woman boards a cab in London. Driver of the cab, a Gujju, keeps staring at her and does not start the cab.
Woman: Haven't you seen a naked woman before?
Gujju: cool down. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering where you have kept the money to pay me?

Moral: This is what most of the American banks failed to do. Assessing the repayment capacity before enjoying exposure...

Last edited by Mpower : 12th August 2011 at 02:16.
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Old 12th August 2011, 01:18   #4965
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Q. What do you call 11 people watching fireworks?
A. The Indian Cricket Team..
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