Go Back   Team-BHP > Around the Corner > Shifting gears


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 23rd August 2011, 14:58   #5011
Senior - BHPian
 
Urban_Nomad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Delhi
Posts: 1,309
Thanked: 1,228 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Boy asks a girl - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?

Girl - 6 apples

Boy - you can only eat one apple, coz when you begin eating the 2nd apple, your stomach is not empty.

Girl - Wow what a clever joke. I ll tell this to my friend.

Next day, the girl meets her friend and starts:

Girl - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?

Friend - 10 apples

Girl - Kya yaar. 6 bolti to mast joke sunaati.

Urban_Nomad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd August 2011, 23:41   #5012
Distinguished - BHPian
 
Scorcher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,719
Thanked: 4,637 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.

He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone."

The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls-Royce.

The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed looked superb It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day and finally found the Yugo late that night.

It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out.

"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the Yugo looked at him narrowly and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!?!"
Scorcher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th August 2011, 13:15   #5013
Senior - BHPian
 
anilisanil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Pune
Posts: 1,435
Thanked: 287 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Got this as a forward:

Saif in his new avatar.

Name:  said.JPG
Views: 5064
Size:  38.1 KB
anilisanil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th August 2011, 14:00   #5014
Distinguished - BHPian
 
Scorcher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,719
Thanked: 4,637 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Wife writes a letter to her husband who is abroad on a short term assignment

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the Ford F-150 when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the Ford F-150 fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your Ferrari. I just missed our bikes though...they are safe.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me.

You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife. XX

PS: I am enclosing a picture of this minor crash for you so you don't get worried. See below
.
.
.
Name:  F150crash.jpg
Views: 2323
Size:  132.0 KB
Scorcher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th August 2011, 19:09   #5015
Distinguished - BHPian
 
Scorcher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,719
Thanked: 4,637 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

After nearly forty years in practice, a gynecologist decided to retire to pursue his first love, auto mechanics.

He enrolled at the local community college and worked very hard, but worried that he was too old to compete with his younger classmates.

Sure enough, on the final exam the other students finished in about two hours, while it took him the full four hours allocated. Afterwards, as he washed up, he asked his teacher about his grade.

“I gave you a score of 150 points out of 100 possible,??? said the teacher. “What? How can that be????

“Well, I gave you 50 points for disassembling the engine perfectly, another 50 points for reassembling the engine perfectly, and an additional 50 points for doing the whole damn job through the exhaust!!!

Scorcher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th August 2011, 20:45   #5016
Distinguished - BHPian
 
IronH4WK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 3,504
Thanked: 3,515 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A dog was following Santa Singh... Santa Singh started laughing hysterically... A passer-by asked him why is he so happy Santa Singh said "ha ha, I have Airtel connection... but still Hutch network is following me"

IronH4WK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th August 2011, 02:07   #5017
Distinguished - BHPian
 
dhanushs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Bathery/BLR
Posts: 3,406
Thanked: 3,930 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Need a better mate?

Name:  mate.jpg
Views: 2762
Size:  33.8 KB
dhanushs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th August 2011, 08:40   #5018
BHPian
 
prateekm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Mumbai & BLR
Posts: 756
Thanked: 307 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

This is the best FAIL video on Youtube. This guy, talking about UID numbers and knows nothing about it, starts saying things like:

1) SIM Card data is transferred to battery.
2) Cloud computing gets disturbed due to rains

Watch more here. Start watching from 13:00:

prateekm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th August 2011, 10:05   #5019
Distinguished - BHPian
 
Sheel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Purnea(Bihar)
Posts: 5,025
Thanked: 4,456 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Girl to a boy : What is your name?
Boy : Black Lion

Girl : How can anyone be named like this?
Boy : (chucking) Kalu Singh.

Boy : What is your name?
Girl : Soft underwear

Boy : What
Girl : Komal Chaddha

Source - Khuswant Singh's jokes

___________________________________

Cockroach's last words to a guy who's about to kill him.....

"You're just jealous that I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can."

Source - WWW
Sheel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th August 2011, 11:46   #5020
Senior - BHPian
 
Fordmanchau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 1,663
Thanked: 291 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Teacher: Tell your dad`s full name in English.
Boy: Its Mr.FLY GO
Teacher: Are you trying to be funny?
Boy: No, his name in hindi is Makkhi JA
Fordmanchau is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th August 2011, 13:27   #5021
BHPian
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Home
Posts: 179
Thanked: 104 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Answer in one word - Apne kiye pe paani pherna?

Flush.
Recompose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th August 2011, 17:42   #5022
BHPian
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 413
Thanked: 161 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Teacher: Kahaan the itne din?

Student: Madam! Bimaar tha! Bird Flu ho gaya tha!

Teacher: Hain? Mujhe kya bewakoof bana rahe ho? Bird-flu toh birds ko hota hai!

Student: Arre! Har roz aap mujhe murga jo banate ho!
creative420 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th August 2011, 17:55   #5023
BHPian
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Home
Posts: 179
Thanked: 104 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorcher View Post
A businessman walked into a New York City bank
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post218490 (The Official Joke thread)

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post103078 (The Official Joke thread)

I would say your version is better - more global outlook .

But one thing that has remained consistent is the IQ of the bank officer who granted the loan repeatedly and never learnt his lesson. No wonder the state of the American economy...
Recompose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th August 2011, 09:34   #5024
BHPian
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 96
Thanked: 17 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Recompose: Hilarious interpretation

If you have been following this thread long enough, the part that you have quoted is good enough to give the entire text. Similar to the joke about people shouting a number and going .

Condor: where art thou?
pnredkar is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 26th August 2011, 20:25   #5025
Distinguished - BHPian
 
Scorcher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,719
Thanked: 4,637 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Amazing, Mind-blowing, Breath-taking levels of knowledge!
Scorcher is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time for a Holiday Joke? Steeroid Shifting gears 9 24th December 2005 20:51
A Nelson joke Dippy Shifting gears 6 8th September 2004 23:12


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 09:53.

Copyright 2000 - 2017, Team-BHP.com
Proudly powered by E2E Networks