The Official Joke thread

[Scorcher]

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

you made that up, didn't ya? nice one though!

Nope, Why should I? Found in a Facebook Mallu Jokes page.

Tell me I am Condor'ed, AGAIN!

[Patriot_Vishwas]

Found this to be funny

[dar3dev|l]

After an accident:

Male Driver: " I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first."

Female driver: " I also started the wipers and said NO NO !!! :-)

[Scorcher]

Now I get it why we were warned by elders in our childhood

[dhanushs]

Height of hapiness...:-)
A boy got a job in a girls hostel.
After 2 months Owner asked: Why didnt u come to take ur salary?
Boy: entammo.. Salary um undo...!! (Translation: OMG!, do I get paid for this?!!)

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God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman's first question.

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Men, you may think you have a command of the English language, but when it comes to communicating with women, you may be surprised. Here is our dictionary of Womanese. Master these terms and you'll find your relationship with women greatly improved.

The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women

• Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up

• That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake.

• Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with "Fine" (See #1).

• Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)

• Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.

• Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about "Nothing." (See #3)

• Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!)

• Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, see #3.)

EDIT: Iron Hawk, True!

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by dhanushs

Height of hapiness...:-)
A boy got a job in a girls hostel.
After 2 months Owner asked: Why didnt u come to take ur salary?
Boy: entammo.. Salary um undo...!! (Translation: OMG!, do I get paid for this?!!)

Malayalam jokes translated to English don't sound the same. you kinda lose the punchline (just imagine Mala or Mamukoya saying that dialog )

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

Any ways, the guys seems to be a ex-IT (income tax, thankfully, not information technology) guy, who was once suspended for his big mouth. I am not sure though. Wondering why he should be interviewed for things like this.

[khoj]

That guy is Vishwabandhu Gupta Ex Chief Commissioner of IT. He was responding to money in Swiss banks and sort of drifted cloudward. He has a penchent for telling stories and has a lot of those to tell if anyone is willing to listen. Search for him on You tube and you will be entertained for hours.

[Scorcher]

Look who's back!

In 2010, Rajnikant made a movie called 'Robot'

In 2030, Robots will make a movie called 'Rajnikant'

[RajaTaurus]

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

Malayalam jokes translated to English don't sound the same. you kinda lose the punchline (just imagine Mala or Mamukoya saying that dialog )

I guess Hindi can come a bit handy and closer!
"Baap-Re.. Pakaar Bhee Hai kya.??"

[prateekm]

Cigarettes contain nicotine, benzene, formaldehyde, ammonia, cadmium, arsenic and over four thousand other known chemicals. So at 100rs for a pack of twenty, they're pretty good value for money.

P.S: Please take this as a joke only, smoking is injurious to health.

[techn0l0gist]

Found this gem on the "wall" of a facebook page called "modded rides in goa" !

[MARCUS_520i]

Hahahaha techn0l0gist, nice find that one!

[mayankk]

Originally Posted by techn0l0gist

Found this gem on the "wall" of a facebook page called "modded rides in goa" !

yes!
for as long the long as the filter can burn, i suppose......

I suppose that guys ride wont be a modded one in goa for long.
what next?
headers attached to the tailpipe to have quad- exhausts?

[mayankk]

Copy editor/ GK book /someone-to-read-own-newspaper needed

"Metro Ph-III to have rainwater harvesting for more carbon footprints"

headline from here:

Times of India Publications