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Old 22nd September 2011, 14:50   #5176
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ROFL.. Couldn't stop laughing.. One of the best I've watched in avery long time!!!
yeah, now we know where Iran is - in Australia!!
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Old 22nd September 2011, 15:09   #5177
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With apprehensions of getting condored, here I go

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Source: Wikipedia
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Old 22nd September 2011, 15:26   #5178
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This was on Facebook .

Boy asked God, " Why she loves rose which dies in a day, but doesn't love me who dies for her everyday?"

God replied, "Mast hai!! Put it on Facebook!"
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Old 22nd September 2011, 15:49   #5179
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Originally Posted by bluevolt View Post
5 things Indian movies taught us:

1.Atleast one of the identical twins born is evil..!!

2.While defusing a bomb,don't worry which wire to cut,you will always choose the right one!!

3.A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up but will show pain when a woman is trying to clean his wound..!!

4.A police can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty..!!

5.(Best of all)If you decide to start dancing on street,everyone you meet will know the step..!!
Adding some more..

1. Every hero rides their bike in super speed with the clutch engaged.
2. Every hero starts and rides past without opening the petrol on/reserve knob.
3. Whenever anybody speaks on the coin phone, they dont put another coin after 60 seconds to continue. They go on and on and on and on..
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Old 22nd September 2011, 15:51   #5180
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Adding some more..

1. Every hero rides their bike in super speed with the clutch engaged.
2. Every hero starts and rides past without opening the petrol on/reserve knob.
3. Whenever anybody speaks on the coin phone, they dont put another coin after 60 seconds to continue. They go on and on and on and on..
you can add the horrendous steering play that every car in hindi movies has!!!
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Old 22nd September 2011, 15:57   #5181
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you can add the horrendous steering play that every car in hindi movies has!!!
Oops..not aware of it, since dont watch Bollywood movies.

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,

"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat."

Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own business!"
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Old 22nd September 2011, 16:01   #5182
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Originally Posted by mayankk View Post
you can add the horrendous steering play that every car in hindi movies has!!!
Also add, whenever the hero/heroine realizes that the cars brakes have failed, he/she has to be on a ghat section and that too at the fastest possible speed!!!

************************************

Off FB (where else! Thats where all the jokes are nowadays!)

I ran into my ex the other day! Just to be sure, engaged Reverse and ran into her again and again!
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Old 22nd September 2011, 16:17   #5183
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Couple of more from side.

Santa applied in a medical college but never cleared it as these were his answers:
Antibody: one who hates his/her body!
Artery: Study of painting!
Bacteria: Back door of cafeteria!
Coma: punctuation mark!
Genes: Blue Denim!
Labor pain: hurt at work!
Ultrasound: Radical Sound!
Cardiology: advance study of playing cards!

___________________________________________

Boy was in a bus.
Suddenly driver applied
break.He fell on a girl &
kissed her.

Girl : Hey!What are you doing?

Boy: Engineering & you?

she smiled & said B.Sc

Moral:Always think about
studies first
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Old 22nd September 2011, 18:17   #5184
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you can add the horrendous steering play that every car in hindi movies has!!!
and i used to think (when i was a kid) that one has to keep doing that while driving
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Old 22nd September 2011, 18:34   #5185
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Originally Posted by dre@ms View Post
Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own business!"
Little Johnny has apparently said this to someone else before.

You are hereby "Condored" :

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post119259 (The Official Joke thread)
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Old 22nd September 2011, 19:53   #5186
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Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.

The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."

"Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver.

"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.

"Quattro is just ze name of zefokken automobile" the German says unbelievingly. "Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 persons"

"You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian customs officer. "Quattro meansa four. You have five-a people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law."

The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over. I vant to speak to someone viz more intelligence!"

"Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.

:-) Cheers!!

Last edited by Technocrat : 23rd September 2011 at 00:29. Reason: Please avoid posting an entire post in Bold, thanks
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Old 22nd September 2011, 22:41   #5187
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Another one from facebook

"Newtons new law of motion......
Loose motion cannot be done in slow motion !!!! "
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Old 22nd September 2011, 22:52   #5188
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.


One day a friend asked," Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"


Fred replied, " Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mom doesn't like them."


His friend thought for a moment and said,"I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who is just like your mother."


A few months later they met again and his friend said, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"


With a frown on his face, Fred answered,"Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."


Then friend said,"Then, what's the problem?"


Fred replied," my father doesn't like her."
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Old 22nd September 2011, 23:15   #5189
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Originally Posted by Fordmanchau View Post
Another one from facebook

"Newtons new law of motion......
Loose motion cannot be done in slow motion !!!! "
Thats some theory :-)
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Old 23rd September 2011, 08:12   #5190
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordmanchau View Post
Another one from facebook

"Newtons new law of motion......
Loose motion cannot be done in slow motion !!!! "
Lucky I came to office early today before everyone else. Am laughing my __ out.
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