The Official Joke thread

[Scorcher]

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.


One day a friend asked," Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"


Fred replied, " Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mom doesn't like them."


His friend thought for a moment and said,"I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who is just like your mother."


A few months later they met again and his friend said, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"


With a frown on his face, Fred answered,"Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."


Then friend said,"Then, what's the problem?"


Fred replied," my father doesn't like her."

[Ford_madhan]

Originally Posted by Fordmanchau

Another one from facebook

"Newtons new law of motion......
Loose motion cannot be done in slow motion !!!! "

Thats some theory :-)

[ch.nathan]

Originally Posted by Fordmanchau

Another one from facebook

"Newtons new law of motion......
Loose motion cannot be done in slow motion !!!! "

Lucky I came to office early today before everyone else. Am laughing my __ out.

[bnzjon]

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE


PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN


MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

[Scorcher]

The teacher asks student if he knows his numbers.

“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”

“Can you tell me what comes after three...?”

“Four,” answers student.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven,” answers student.

“Very good,” says the teacher.

“Your father did a very fine job.What comes after ten....?”

“A jack,” answers student

[smsrini]

Log n lugai ki comparison - YouTube

[Irish]

Love his haryanavi accent. By the way, Surender Sharma is an outstanding poet also.

[Scorcher]

I bet that sign's gotta hurt some egos

[Scorcher]

Some Crazy Bumper Stickers

Why Are You Staring At My Bumper!? You Pervert!

Buckle up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you from your car

Don't drink and drive... You might hit a bump and drop your beer

Do not start with me. You will not win.

Do not wash. Vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test.

Can't stop now. On my way to hell.

Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it!

CAUTION! - I brake for tailgaters

CAUTION! - I drive just like you!

Believe in life after death. Mess with my car and you'll find out.

Amateur Rocket Scientist: My other vehicle is in orbit.

Back up off my bumper, it's a lethal weapon

Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?

Think this looks bad? You should see the front.

This Is Not An Abandoned Vehicle

THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME

So many pedestrians. So little time!

Of All The Things I've Lost I Miss My Mind The Most

Out of my mind (back in 5 minutes)

Pissing off the whole planet one person at a time

If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

If you don't like my attitude, stop looking at my Stickers!

It's time to pull over and change the air in your head!

If this car is being driven courteously it's been stolen.

If everything is combing your way, you’re in the wrong lane!

I suffer from c.r.s. (can't remember ****)

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!

I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?


I still have the body of an 18 year old but it's in my trunk and it's
starting to smell

I don't care, I don't have to.

I have a drink problem - I can't afford it.

I have a nice body. It's in my trunk.

I have good Brakes, Do you have GOOD Insurance?

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.

I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back

I'm looking for the right pedestrian to run over.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

Help! I Farted and can't roll down my windows!

Horn Broken Watch for Finger

I'm a nice guy. My car is evil.

I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to work.

I'm only driving this way to piss you off.

Don't follow me. I'm lost too.

Clear the road I'm SIXTEEN

Come The Rapture Can I Have Your Car?

Cover me! I'm changing lanes.

4 out of 5 voices in my head say Go For It!

A hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest?

A real gentleman wouldn't stare at my stickers.

Answer my prayer - steal this car.

As a matter of fact, I do own the road.

[Scarlet_Rider]

Only Rajnikanth knows the two people who shake hands in Nokia mobiles!!

[Fordmanchau]

Thought this is worth sharing!
This one's from "LOL Pages" on Facebook.

[traveloholic]

This is Perfect Timing, The Real Factor of Fear. Who ever took this has real timing and great sense of humour.

[Scorcher]

Ironically, A is still Apple

[Urban_Nomad]

Originally Posted by Gansan

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border

These guys have been driving across many countries it seems.

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post883884 (The Official Joke thread)

There are quite a few more where that came from. Would suggest a quick search before posting (in this case, search for "quattro").

Cheers.

[bluevolt]

A student called up his physics professor.
His wife picked up the phone and said "he died last week"..
Next day student called again..
She again picked up and said "I told u, he died last week"..
He called the third time.
Wife said he died..
why do you keep on calling again and again??"..
Student: "sun ke acha lagta hai".. (It feels good to hear the same again and again)