The Official Joke thread

[anekho]

Save trees. Eat Woodpeckers!

[ashis89]

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by ashis89

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

....

you're hereby condored! i think it was posted a few pages back by Scorcher

[Spitfire]

Can this guy be booked for riding with three on board?

[mayankk]

Originally Posted by Spitfire

Can this guy be booked for riding with three on board?

Attachment 820959

Is this north block?

Probably heading for duty......would you belive the 3rd guy from left?


Monkey chaser awayer.

EDIT: NO term for his profile that ive heard, just that get the "langur".
Theyre quite adept at chasing away the rhesus'.
Make about 5k a month.

[Irish]

Originally Posted by Spitfire

Can this guy be booked for riding with three on board?

Attachment 820959

No, he can NEVER be booked.

The THIRD rider is hired by the Govt. of India to control the Monkey menace in North and South Blocks, adjacent to Parliament House and Rashtrapati Bhawan in New Delhi.

Cheers!
Irish

[Spitfire]

Originally Posted by mayankk

Monkey chaser awayer.

Yes I have heard the Hindi term for it. Cant recall though.

So is it that they set these tamed langurs on the city monkeys to shoo them away?

Would be quite a racket.

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by Spitfire

Can this guy be booked for riding with three on board?

Attachment 820959

he can be booked for monkey business

btw, i think it's a PS job. look at the occupants of that Indica, they're least interested. if i saw something like this i'd be very curious. or maybe they're used to it

[Spitfire]

Originally Posted by Irish

The THIRD rider is hired by the Govt. of India to control the Monkey menace in North and South Blocks, adjacent to Parliament House and Rashtrapati Bhawan in New Delhi.

So its true then

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

btw, i think it's a PS job.

That's as real as it gets. That not an Indica, its a Innova.

You catch cows on BETL and find this surprising?

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by Spitfire

That's as real as it gets. That not an Indica, its a Innova.

You catch cows on BETL and find this surprising?

hey cows are everywhere, but monkey riding pillion on a Activa (priceless) is not something you get to see everyday!!


PS: i realized later that was a Innova

[Spitfire]

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

hey cows are everywhere, but monkey riding pillion

Wait the cows are going pillion too, soon. Don't believe me??

Check this ***..

[ghodlur]

Originally Posted by Spitfire

Can this guy be booked for riding with three on board?

Definitely will be booked, not for riding three but for the third riding without a helmet.

[Guite]

Originally Posted by Spitfire

Wait the cows are going pillion too, soon. Don't believe me??

Check this ***..

Attachment 821025

You posted a cow and it morphed into a donkey. That's sheer magic.

[Spitfire]

Originally Posted by Guite

You posted a cow and it morphed into a donkey. That's sheer magic.

No no.

I meant the cows are going to go pillion soon. Check this donkey already doing it. The cows are going to start off soon.

The A-S-S part got starred

@ghodlur: LOL!! Helmetless riding by the pillion. Surely a break there.

[ashis89]

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

you're hereby condored! i think it was posted a few pages back by Scorcher

Sorry I musted have missed it i guess.