Go Back   Team-BHP > Around the Corner > Shifting gears


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 16th November 2011, 16:54   #5701
Distinguished - BHPian
 
Sheel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Purnea(Bihar)
Posts: 5,023
Thanked: 4,452 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane
when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's
talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it
slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk
about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How
about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting
topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer
all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes
little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do
you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's
intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel
qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shyt
__________________________

Bill Gates has resigned as the chairman of Microsoft after receiving a letter from Santa Singh.

Santa: Dear sir, I have some question to ask

1. The keypad alphabets are not in order. When will you launch the correct version?

2. There is start button but not stop?

3. We learn't MS Word when will you launch MS Sentence?

4. There is Recycle bin but no Rescooter bin, why?

5. Final question personal one, why your name is Gates even though you sell Windows?

__________________________________________________ ________

On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales.

At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysili ogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress,

'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?'

The girl leaned over and said, 'Burrr........gurrr........king'!

__________________________________________________ _____

The value of life increases only after death. For example, a live chicken costs Rs 90 and Chicken Tandoori Rs 280

__________________________________________________ _______

I was in the pub with the missus the other night and I said

"I love you"

She said "Is that you or the beer talking"?

"Its me talking to the beer"

__________________________________________________ ______

TAXI DRIVER

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.


For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"



The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "


The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
Sheel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th November 2011, 18:30   #5702
Senior - BHPian
 
khoj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Dilli
Posts: 2,722
Thanked: 1,250 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

This 'shyt' is too good !
khoj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th November 2011, 22:22   #5703
BHPian
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 133
Thanked: 120 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Found this pic on the net surfing to read some reviews on RA-one. Looks like a PS job, but funny nevertheless.
Attached Images
 

Last edited by s@tan2s@int : 16th November 2011 at 22:45.
s@tan2s@int is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th November 2011, 12:31   #5704
BHPian
 
Scarlet_Rider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 551
Thanked: 401 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

One of the shortest jokes in the world:

Two women were sitting together, quietly.
Scarlet_Rider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th November 2011, 16:32   #5705
BHPian
 
driving_smartly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Navi Mumbai
Posts: 476
Thanked: 211 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Got a call from Airtel asking for conversion from prepaid to postpaid.

He explained me the plan

After which i asked him, " what are the gprs charges p.m?"

To which he replied " very simple sir pay Rs 149 p.m and you will get 2 GB of INTERNAL MEMORY on your phone every Month"

Last edited by bblost : 18th November 2011 at 10:58. Reason: Highlighting a couple of words. Thanks.
driving_smartly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th November 2011, 19:35   #5706
BHPian
 
Butters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 63
Thanked: 7 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Ahhh .... reminds me my initial days of computing

Name:  caps.jpg
Views: 1922
Size:  41.4 KB
Butters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th November 2011, 09:19   #5707
Senior - BHPian
 
bluevolt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 2,884
Thanked: 2,043 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Santa make a call to his home.
Servant picked the phone.
Santa: Give phone to my wife.
Servant: She is sleeping with her husband.
Santa: But I am her husband.
Servant: Now what to do?
Santa: Kill both of them.
After killing Servant: What to do with dead bodies?
Santa: Put them in our swimming pool.
Servant: But there is no swimming pool in home.
Santa: Sorry wrong Number
bluevolt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th November 2011, 11:58   #5708
BHPian
 
KA18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Chikmagalur
Posts: 193
Thanked: 6 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

This is weird. Try typing "I want to become a" (without quotes) in Google and look at the first suggestion.
Attached Images
 
KA18 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th November 2011, 13:53   #5709
BHPian
 
varun.ppl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 151
Thanked: 64 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Rajni strikes again :
Attached Images
 
varun.ppl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th November 2011, 15:09   #5710
Senior - BHPian
 
libranof1987's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: All over!
Posts: 3,549
Thanked: 2,483 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

This must have been torture for passengers but is hillarious otherwise!

Airline passengers asked to pay for fuel en-route - Video | The Times of India

What sane organization does that?!

Imagine if BMTC Volvo conductors were the ones collecting the fuel charges - gimme change or I'll throw you out of the moving.. err.. airplane!
libranof1987 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th November 2011, 17:20   #5711
Senior - BHPian
 
myavu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Delhi - Kochi
Posts: 1,057
Thanked: 515 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A Psychology report.

When 2 couples come face to face - WIVES look at each other’s sarees and HUSBANDS look at each other’s wife!


Height of Social Networking.

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Boy: Madam, please check in FACEBOOK. I have uploaded a copy of it & tagged you.
myavu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th November 2011, 19:21   #5712
Senior - BHPian
 
vivekiny2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: cincinnati, jabalpur,chennai
Posts: 1,241
Thanked: 163 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by KA18 View Post
This is weird. Try typing "I want to become a" (without quotes) in Google and look at the first suggestion.
You know google search results are customized, right? Have you been vampiring a lot these days?
vivekiny2k is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th November 2011, 20:59   #5713
Distinguished - BHPian
 
anjan_c2007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: India
Posts: 5,472
Thanked: 4,463 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don't really mean it.
Women socialize by complimenting each other, but they too don't mean it either !
anjan_c2007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th November 2011, 21:08   #5714
Senior - BHPian
 
mayankk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 4,040
Thanked: 3,174 Times
Default

Don't think condorring will be called for:

Ra.one is making huge money!!



Entry is free.
Exit is 500 bucks!
mayankk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th November 2011, 11:18   #5715
BHPian
 
KA18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Chikmagalur
Posts: 193
Thanked: 6 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by vivekiny2k View Post
You know google search results are customized, right? Have you been vampiring a lot these days?
I don't know about the customized part, but lot others have got the same results on Firefox and it seems that the suggestions change from browser to browser, even on the same machine.

So, the joke's on Google!
KA18 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time for a Holiday Joke? Steeroid Shifting gears 9 24th December 2005 20:51
A Nelson joke Dippy Shifting gears 6 8th September 2004 23:12


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 05:23.

Copyright 2000 - 2017, Team-BHP.com
Proudly powered by E2E Networks