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Old 19th November 2011, 12:11   #5716
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*
Dad to upset son : What happened son? cmon, treat me like your friend...
Son : kya bolu yaar... meri waali ko milne gaya tha, teri waali ne maara!
(cant translate because it will lose the humour then!)

*
Man to gf : I cant marry you, my family is not comfortable with our relationship
Girl : who all are there in your family?
Man: My wife & 3 children

*
Santa was driving on the wrong side of the road. Says "Oh No! I am late again. Everybody is going back!"
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Old 19th November 2011, 19:29   #5717
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Notes to Doctors and Nurses::
You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.
You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.
You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation) on your day off.
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Old 19th November 2011, 19:34   #5718
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How to spot an Indian.

For want of a better thread to post this. I find it quite amusing, everyone may not agree. Its at the elephant show arena at Safari World outside Bangkok.
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Old 19th November 2011, 20:43   #5719
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For alll who just love chicken !!!
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Old 20th November 2011, 08:28   #5720
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An old one, but someone recently forward this to me - Rajni Mania…

Rajnikanth was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, “You know, I know everyone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, “OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it” Rajini said.

So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door,
And sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts : “Thalaiva! Great to see you! You And your friends come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was
Just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else” Rajini says
President Obama”, Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts
Yes”, Rajini says, “I know him.

And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, : “Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way
to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of
coffee first and catch up”.

Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to
name anyone else.
“The Pope,” Amitabh Bachan replies

”Sure!” says Rajini, “My folks are from Italy and I’ve known the Pope a long time”.
Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.. Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a
heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to Amitabh Bachan’s side,
Rajini asks him, “What happened?”

Amitabh Bachan looks up and says,
“I was doing fine until u and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me said,
“Who’s that on the balcony with RAJINI "
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Old 20th November 2011, 18:51   #5721
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rrahul - nononono. That incident originally happened between our member kuttapan, and ... errr.. IIRC, the US president. Checkout kuttappan's thread in the "Introduce yourselves" section.

Of course, a slightly different (3rd) version too is here somewhere.
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Old 20th November 2011, 20:16   #5722
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Got these two from Facebook:
Name:  Samman.jpg
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Name:  LvMarriageArrgdMarriage.jpg
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Last edited by anjan_c2007 : 20th November 2011 at 20:21.
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Old 20th November 2011, 20:44   #5723
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Taken from Facebook (do we have another source these days?).
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Old 20th November 2011, 20:54   #5724
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Dont know whether this is the correct thread to post this link, but it definitely made me laugh.

A macaque monkey found a wildlife photographers camera and took some self portraits. Hilarious. here is the link.

[PHOTO] Monkey Steals Camera, Takes Self-Portraits - Animal News: Animal Planet

cheers.

Last edited by plimsollmark : 20th November 2011 at 20:55. Reason: typo corrected
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Old 21st November 2011, 22:21   #5725
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Here is a pictorial account of how the salary has grown vis a vis its friends:
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Old 22nd November 2011, 11:22   #5726
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Times of India, a paper which is rather useless, has at least one section which can genuinely cheer up even the dullest of the day.

The comments section.
I do not know who are the smart guys running TOI but the guy moderating the comments on stories sure has some "perverted" sense of humor.

Just pick any story, more controversial the better and go through the comments.
90% of the comments are very colorful and entertaining. I read TOI in office just for the colorful bawdy comments by readers. Who says Indians do not have a sense of humor?

BTW: Do not miss comments on any stories involving Digvijay Singh. They are most entertaining of all.

Last edited by download2live : 22nd November 2011 at 11:26.
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Old 22nd November 2011, 11:49   #5727
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR View Post
rrahul - nononono. That incident originally happened between our member kuttapan, and ...
@BackSeatDriver - didnt know that Kuttappan was also involved in that episode .

Another one i received today -

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan!

They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!

She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: "Watch that damn wall!"

Last edited by rrahul_2778 : 22nd November 2011 at 11:52.
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Old 22nd November 2011, 11:49   #5728
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Few from my side. I hope no one is a repeat.

Source: Facebook Pages

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Cheers!
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Old 22nd November 2011, 18:29   #5729
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Things To Do In An Elevator

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

4) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

5) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

6) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

7) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

8) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

9) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

10) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

11) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

12) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

13) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

14) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

15) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
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Old 22nd November 2011, 20:26   #5730
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From Facebook

‎1)NDTV- ash gives birth to a girl child
2)Star News - Aish aaj maa bani, aaiye us doctor se baat karte hai jinhone ye delivery kari,
3) Sahara news: - Aish Maa bani aur pura bharat jashn mana raha hai apni shubhkamna bhejne ke liye sms kare "454443" par,
and finally sare news channels ka baap-
4)India TV: - Aish ke bache ki aankhein Amitabh se milti hai, kya yeh amitabhh ki aulad hai, kya bacchan parivar ne sharam ki sari hadde par kar di hai, raaz khulega raat 9 baje!!!!

Another one
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