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Old 22nd November 2011, 21:11   #5731
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From Facebook...where else :P
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Old 22nd November 2011, 22:17   #5732
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Can someone explain the circled bit?
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Old 22nd November 2011, 22:22   #5733
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The newest member of the Bachchan family should be named Phoenix, after all, she has risen from the Ash
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Old 22nd November 2011, 22:36   #5734
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The Missing Husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height?
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy? Any birthmarks?
Woman: Not slim,but can be healthy, no birthmarks but was bitten on his right palm by his girlfriend last night..
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair?
Woman: Should be black but changes with the time.......
Inspector: What was he wearing?
Woman: I donít remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him?????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair (I shampooed him Sunday last) , his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wears a golden belt studded with blue balls, likes non veg food, we ate together, we jogged together.
The woman started crying
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Old 23rd November 2011, 00:40   #5735
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The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise
and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a
loving wife.

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like
to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said,
"I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if
they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the
congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have
experienced.
"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on,
"and every move caused him terrible pain.
We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation,
and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants
of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed
uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the
Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time,
his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom Smith."
The entire congregation held its breath.


"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum, not scrotum"
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Old 23rd November 2011, 11:42   #5736
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A couple of more (Source: Facebook) from my side:

A letter from a distressed student to his Principal in Haryana:

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BIGG BOSS: Are they really like that?

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Cheers!
Irish
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Old 23rd November 2011, 20:20   #5737
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Got this one by mail. It seems the CEO is to create a Solar Eclipse and may be he disappears !
The Official Joke thread-image002.jpg

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Old 23rd November 2011, 21:09   #5738
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The future, as we know it!
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Old 23rd November 2011, 22:26   #5739
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorcher View Post
Things To Do In An Elevator
We used to punch in all the floors, during school days!
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Old 23rd November 2011, 22:38   #5740
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@Scorcher: The elevator joke reminded me of a prank, my friend and I pulled on a neighborhood gossip queen.

As soon as the lady entered the lift, my friend went into a very serious tone. About how his girl friend was pregnant and he had no idea what to do about it.

Another common prank used to be like this.
One of us would start coughing real bad. Then the other would ask him if he went to the Doctor. The response would be that the Doctor said don't worry, it will go away on its own. But warned that its highly contagious. All the time coughing and coughing.
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Old 24th November 2011, 10:18   #5741
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The real truth why the song "Why this Kolaveri Di?" is becoming so famous and viral on the internet.


Its backed up by none other than Rajnikanth!!!!
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Old 24th November 2011, 11:19   #5742
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It's going to be hard, but PLEASE listen to the sign.
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Old 24th November 2011, 11:29   #5743
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Suhagrat wali raat ko santa confuse ho gya ki nayi biwi ko kya bole ?

Aakhir me kafi sochne ke baad bola "Aap ke gharwalo ko malum hai ki aap yaha mere saath sone wali ho?"


English Translation:


Santa got confused on his first night as to what to speak to her wife.

After thinking a lot, he asked his wife "Do your family members know, that you are going to sleep with me tonight?"

Cheers!
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Old 24th November 2011, 12:35   #5744
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After Steve Jobs reached heaven, he referred to all the hot angels as iTems!!
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Old 24th November 2011, 13:13   #5745
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I love these little pictures!

1) Impulsive, life of the party

2) Thrifty,prone to depression

3) Stubborn, slow witted

4) Antisocial, bad breath

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