Go Back   Team-BHP > Around the Corner > Shifting gears


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 2nd December 2011, 09:44   #5806
BHPian
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 301
Thanked: 98 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorcher View Post
Time for the "Kanth" duo!
@Scorcher: Thats hilarious

one more -

Vijaykanth: Machi, coming for a movie?
Rajnikanth: which movie?
Vijaykanth: Kungumapoo bonda
Rajnikanth: Tamil movie?
Vijaykanth: No machi, its the new 3d animation movie in english
Rajnikanth: you fool, its 'Kungfu Panda'
nfsfreak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd December 2011, 10:58   #5807
Distinguished - BHPian
 
vb-san's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: S'pore/Thrissur
Posts: 4,702
Thanked: 3,893 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

My wifey sent this across... quite true
Attached Thumbnails
The Official Joke thread-health_nigella.jpg  

vb-san is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd December 2011, 11:07   #5808
Senior - BHPian
 
Scorcher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,733
Thanked: 4,805 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

and my Mum thinks I watch 'Nigella Bites' for the food part
Scorcher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd December 2011, 22:16   #5809
Distinguished - BHPian
 
swiftnfurious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chennai
Posts: 6,449
Thanked: 6,438 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhanushs View Post
English teachers rule!!..

1. Open the windows, let the Air Force come in.
...
4. I talk,he talk, Why you middle talk?
...
8. Bring your parents with Your Mom 'n Dad
...
10. Go and stand in the corner of that circle.
And next day same teacher to the late comers [incidentally 3 of them]...

"Both of you 3 come here. Tell me why you are late; YES or NO ?!!"

Last edited by swiftnfurious : 2nd December 2011 at 22:18.
swiftnfurious is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd December 2011, 22:34   #5810
//M
Distinguished - BHPian
 
//M's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Pune
Posts: 4,189
Thanked: 8,597 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Read this moments ago in fb :

Teacher - What is the square root of 69???

Student -I dont know

Teacher- you dont know anything, you stupid boy.
...
Student-I have a question for you maam that you can never answer.

Teacher-whats the question?

student-why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di?

Teacher:- ........ XXXXXXXXXXX
//M is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 17:46   #5811
Distinguished - BHPian
 
anjan_c2007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: India
Posts: 5,531
Thanked: 4,705 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

When Aishwaryaji delivered a baby girl,
The doctor welcomed the baby saying:
"You will be amazed to know which family you are born in.
Do you know who your Grandfather is?"
The baby replied, "Yes, the greatest actor of Bollywood."
The Doctor was shocked.
"And your Grandmother?"
"She was one of Bollywood's greatest heart throb's during her hey days!"
Then he asked, "Do you know who your Mother is?"
The baby replied, "One of the most beautiful ladies in the world - ex-Miss World."
The doctor finally asked, "Do you know who your Father is?"
The baby replied, "NO IDEA"

Last edited by anjan_c2007 : 3rd December 2011 at 17:48.
anjan_c2007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 17:58   #5812
Senior - BHPian
 
khoj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Dilli
Posts: 2,722
Thanked: 1,253 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

In the same vein

Aiswariya's baby's name 'Asavi' decoded

A = By default

Rest of alphabets come from her mama's past love life

SA = Salman

VI = Vivek

Love is indeed immortal
khoj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 18:07   #5813
BHPian
 
Scarlet_Rider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 555
Thanked: 418 Times
Talking Two are better than one!

A sociologist study has verified that a woman's ultimate fantasy is having two men at once. In this fantasy, one man cooks and the other cleans!
Scarlet_Rider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 18:23   #5814
BHPian
 
MARCUS_520i's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 522
Thanked: 149 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A woman is in a grocery store and happens upon a grandpa and his poorly behaving 3-year-old grandson at every turn.

It's obvious gramps has his hands full with the kid screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda.

Meanwhile gramps is working his way around saying in a controlled voice, 'Easy Albert, we won't be long; easy boy.'

Another outburst and she hears gramps calmly say, 'It's OK Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be outta here; hang in there.'

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items from the cart and gramps again in a controlled voice is saying, 'Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset -- we'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert.'

Very impressed the woman goes up to gramps as he's loading the kid and the groceries into the car and says, 'You know sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. The whole time you kept your composure and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. Albert is very lucky to have you for his grandpa.'

'Thanks, lady,' replied gramps, 'But I'm Albert . . . the little jerk's name is Johnny.'
MARCUS_520i is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 18:49   #5815
Senior - BHPian
 
raj_5004's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Dubai/Mumbai
Posts: 5,078
Thanked: 2,031 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

raj_5004 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 19:27   #5816
Distinguished - BHPian
 
dhanushs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Bathery/BLR
Posts: 3,446
Thanked: 4,057 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

OMG!!!... ROTFLMAO!!..

Some extremely funny, senseless stunts ending up not-so-good!!..



dhanushs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 20:03   #5817
BHPian
 
lamboguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 137
Thanked: 118 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

This, actually, isn't a joke (and it isn't supposed to be *that* funny). Its just a comic strip I made on a lazy weekend while pondering over stuff

P.S. Click on the image for a larger size.

The Official Joke thread-final-terminator-comic-upload.png

Last edited by lamboguy : 3rd December 2011 at 20:04.
lamboguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 21:13   #5818
Distinguished - BHPian
 
anjan_c2007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: India
Posts: 5,531
Thanked: 4,705 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Once Bill Gates was in discussions with Rajnikanth.
Bill Gates told him that his house and property is so huge that a Bullet Train can arrive, go and even remain parked there.
Rajnikanth said OK nice Thiru Bill, my house has such a dimension where if you go from one end to the other, your cellphone will go into the roaming mode.
anjan_c2007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:50   #5819
BHPian
 
MARCUS_520i's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 522
Thanked: 149 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and a Policeman were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Policeman fumed, 'What's with those guys? We have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I've never seen such poor golf!'

The Chinese Businessman yelled out 'Get moving, time is money'

The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper, maybe he can do something about this'

'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'

George the greens keeper replied, 'Yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'

The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'

The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honor of these brave souls'

The Policeman said, 'Why the hell don't they play at night?'
MARCUS_520i is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2011, 00:38   #5820
Senior - BHPian
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: EU - Nordic
Posts: 1,563
Thanked: 953 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Here's a Tintu-Mon joke:

Ambani: If I take out my car in the morning and start driving in the my tea estate, I won't be able to cover even half of it by the afternoon.

Tintu-Mon: My grandfather once had........a car of that sort
StarrySky is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time for a Holiday Joke? Steeroid Shifting gears 9 24th December 2005 20:51
A Nelson joke Dippy Shifting gears 6 8th September 2004 23:12


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 16:34.

Copyright 2000 - 2017, Team-BHP.com
Proudly powered by E2E Networks