Go Back   Team-BHP > Around the Corner > Shifting gears


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 1st November 2005, 21:47   #586
BHPian
 
satan_crazy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 129
Thanked: 0 Times
Default

@k_ajay: what is the handset you have in your profile? looks great ...
satan_crazy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st November 2005, 23:24   #587
Distinguished - BHPian
 
jkdas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Thiruvananthapu
Posts: 9,635
Thanked: 1,343 Times
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by satan_crazy
@k_ajay: what is the handset you have in your profile? looks great ...
SE 550i i think?....

http://www.sonyericsson.com/spg.jsp?...=pp1&pid=10320

Last edited by jkdas : 1st November 2005 at 23:27.
jkdas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd November 2005, 17:39   #588
BHPian
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: PHX...Chennai
Posts: 38
Thanked: 2 Times
Wink Which one do you prefer..?

A man, a pig, and a dog are the survivors of a terrible ship-wreck, and they find themselves stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, they get into a ritual of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down.

One particular evening the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance! Well, that pig started looking better and better and pretty soon the guy rolled toward the pig and put his arm around it. The dog was not very happy with this and growled fiercely at the guy, until he removed his arm from the pig.

They continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her and they slowly nursed her back to good health. When she was well enough they introduced her to their evening beach ritual.

It was another beautiful evening, red sky, beautiful cirrus clouds, warm gentle breeze, the four of them lying there, perfect for romance.

The guy started getting those ideas again so he leaned over toward the girl and asked,

"Um...would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
VtecDeGr8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd November 2005, 17:45   #589
BHPian
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: PHX...Chennai
Posts: 38
Thanked: 2 Times
Default Confusing English???


1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Humans ???

13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this??? (I know what you guys think....I'm thru with my work for the day)
VtecDeGr8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd November 2005, 23:50   #590
Senior - BHPian
 
revtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Bombay
Posts: 1,987
Thanked: 35 Times
Default

A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.
The teacher held up a picture of a cat.
"What animal is this?" she asked.
"A cat!" said Eddie.
"Good job! Now, what is this animal?"
"A dog!" said Eddie.
"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a
Deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said,
"It's what your mom calls your dad."
"A horny b****** ," called out Eddie.


Rev
revtech is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd November 2005, 23:55   #591
Senior - BHPian
 
revtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Bombay
Posts: 1,987
Thanked: 35 Times
Default Talking Parrot

A man lives with his parents his whole life. He doesn't drink, smoke, or do anything of that nature. Most importantly, though, he doesn't swear.

After both of his parents have died, when he's in his late fifties, he becomes lonely. He decides to go to the pet store, and buy a friend to talk to. He asks for the most talkative parrot that they have. They bring him a small, fluffy blue parrot, and he takes it home.

Excitedly, he says, "hello, new friend, what would you like me to call you". The parrot doesn't reply. The man, thinking that the parrot must be unable to hear him, repeats the sentence a bit louder. The parrot replies with "I heard you the first time, A**hole".

Appalled, the man solemnly says "we don't use that kind of language in this house". Upon hearing this, the parrot starts screaming every profanity he's ever heard, even in other languages. The man gets terribly upset, and chases the parrot into a closet. Twenty minutes later, he's still swearing like a sailor.

So, he puts the parrot into a kitchen cabinet, and it does no good. Finally, he decides that a few minutes in the freezer will scare the parrot into stopping. He puts the parrot into the freezer, and after about a minute, the swearing comes to a stop.

Scared that he must've killed the parrot, he throws the freezer door open. The parrot hops out, and immediately cuddles up against the man, and says "I've learned my lesson, I'm sorry".

The man says "what caused you to stop using such horrible language?". The parrot shakes a little bit, and says "I saw what you did to the chicken".


Rev
revtech is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2005, 10:38   #592
Senior - BHPian
 
Gordon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 2,420
Thanked: 158 Times
Default

EASY VS. DIFFICULT

Easy is to get a place is someone's address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...

Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...

Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...

Easy is to pray every night.
Difficult is to find God in small things...

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...

Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...

Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...

Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...

Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.

Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow

Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Love V/s Marraige

Love is holding hands in the street. , Marriage is holding arguments in
the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant. , Marriage is a
Chinese take-out.

Love is cuddling on a sofa. , Marriage is deciding on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children. , Marriage is talking about
getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early. , Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive. , Marriage is a tarmac drive.

Love is losing your appetite. , Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear. , Marriage is sweet nothing in the
bank.

Love is a flickering flame. , Marriage is a flickering television.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. , Marriage is "Don't you think you've had
enough!".

In short, Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!!!

Thoughts to ponder upon...... not for Today...

SO THINK OVER AGAIN BEFORE GETTING MARRIED.
Gordon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2005, 16:30   #593
Senior - BHPian
 
Gordon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 2,420
Thanked: 158 Times
Default

Gordon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2005, 21:54   #594
Senior - BHPian
 
revtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Bombay
Posts: 1,987
Thanked: 35 Times
Default

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money" and she tried to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse **** all over her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse **** from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

"Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."


Rev
revtech is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2005, 21:59   #595
Senior - BHPian
 
revtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Bombay
Posts: 1,987
Thanked: 35 Times
Default

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."


Rev
revtech is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2005, 22:17   #596
Senior - BHPian
 
revtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Bombay
Posts: 1,987
Thanked: 35 Times
Question Finally Found !!!

they have FINALLY FOUND


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Popeyes Mom !!!







Rev
revtech is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2005, 12:07   #597
Senior - BHPian
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: N.A
Posts: 6,818
Thanked: 1,439 Times
Default

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path (woo hoo Keshav!)

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoilt Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack!

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? !
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Steeroid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2005, 21:07   #598
BHPian
 
nishant_kingpin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 333
Thanked: 0 Times
Default

Mr.Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:

"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs.Verma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs.Verma?" "Yes...... speaking" AEC guy,
"You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy .
"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????"
" Yes ............. We have a system of finding out who's overdue "
" GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.........."
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. .... he will speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle." :
nishant_kingpin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2005, 22:48   #599
Senior - BHPian
 
revtech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Bombay
Posts: 1,987
Thanked: 35 Times
Default Largest Selling Pen Stand.

This is the largest selling pen stand in Iraq.Check it out...




Rev
revtech is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2005, 22:58   #600
BHPian
 
streetlife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: New Delhi, India
Posts: 216
Thanked: 11 Times
Default

awosome!!! revtech where did u get that anyway

Last edited by streetlife : 7th November 2005 at 22:59.
streetlife is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time for a Holiday Joke? Steeroid Shifting gears 9 24th December 2005 20:51
A Nelson joke Dippy Shifting gears 6 8th September 2004 23:12


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 21:50.

Copyright 2000 - 2017, Team-BHP.com
Proudly powered by E2E Networks