Go Back   Team-BHP > Around the Corner > Shifting gears


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 25th January 2012, 15:26   #6361
Distinguished - BHPian
 
Scorcher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,719
Thanked: 4,637 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Now that's Jenga!

Couldn't help but imagine the expression on the cop's face when he realized what he just locked his speed gun onto
Attached Images
 

Last edited by Scorcher : 25th January 2012 at 15:27.
Scorcher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2012, 17:18   #6362
Senior - BHPian
 
m_upreti's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Mumbai/Medellin
Posts: 1,564
Thanked: 298 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorcher View Post
Now that's Jenga!

Couldn't help but imagine the expression on the cop's face when he realized what he just locked his speed gun onto
This beats everything, lucky for the cops that system was intelligent enough.
m_upreti is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2012, 17:30   #6363
BHPian
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: India
Posts: 589
Thanked: 647 Times
Wink Re: The Official Joke thread

Wrong pronunciations can be very optimistic at times.

My physics teacher always told us that "babes are coming in your semester examinations".

At semester exams, I realized that he meant "waves".


Cheers!
Irish

Last edited by Irish : 25th January 2012 at 17:50.
Irish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2012, 18:59   #6364
Senior - BHPian
 
Warwithwheels's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: India
Posts: 1,279
Thanked: 1,013 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

This is India Inc for you!

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use
Warwithwheels is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2012, 19:47   #6365
Senior - BHPian
 
Warwithwheels's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: India
Posts: 1,279
Thanked: 1,013 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

The teacher gave an assignment to her fifth grade class : Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.



The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.



There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.



But then the teacher realised that only Aman was left. "Aman, do you have a story to share?"



"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mummy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."



"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher,


What did your daddy tell you was the moral to

this horrible story ?


"Stay way from mummy when she's drunk" Aman Said...!!
Warwithwheels is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2012, 20:35   #6366
Distinguished - BHPian
 
Scorcher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,719
Thanked: 4,637 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Two Men in US were eating Hotdog for the first time.

First Man opens the bread, looks inside, feels embarrassed and asked second Man,
"Which part of the Dog did you get?"

Last edited by .anshuman : 27th January 2012 at 11:53. Reason: Post edited to remove reference to people from a particular community. Thanks
Scorcher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2012, 22:19   #6367
Senior - BHPian
 
Anand123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: trivandrum
Posts: 1,900
Thanked: 2,466 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job.

The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man.

Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?"

The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back."

The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?"

From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200."
Anand123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th January 2012, 16:26   #6368
Senior - BHPian
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Kochi
Posts: 2,147
Thanked: 142 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorcher View Post
Now that's Jenga!

Couldn't help but imagine the expression on the cop's face when he realized what he just locked his speed gun onto
Not exactly Condored, but ...

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post2224454

That one happened in Texas, US of A. So not really a repeat post, right?
BaCkSeAtDrIVeR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th January 2012, 20:22   #6369
Senior - BHPian
 
Fordmanchau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 1,663
Thanked: 291 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

We have all copied many a pics from Facebook for our Joke thread!!
Now finally we contribute to it and say thank you!!
Look here, there's one pic taken from TBHP. Our payback to Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=1&theater
Fordmanchau is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th January 2012, 21:02   #6370
Senior - BHPian
 
sachinj12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: B'lore/Chicago
Posts: 1,183
Thanked: 160 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordmanchau View Post
We have all copied many a pics from Facebook for our Joke thread!!
Now finally we contribute to it and say thank you!!
Look here, there's one pic taken from TBHP. Our payback to Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=1&theater
Condored.

I have used many pics from here on my FB wall
sachinj12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th January 2012, 21:23   #6371
Senior - BHPian
 
bluevolt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 2,884
Thanked: 2,044 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Breaking News: Australia and England agree to stop playing each other. Ashes winner to be decided based on who beats India by bigger margin.

Last edited by bluevolt : 26th January 2012 at 21:26.
bluevolt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th January 2012, 23:02   #6372
Senior - BHPian
 
Anand123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: trivandrum
Posts: 1,900
Thanked: 2,466 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Wish we could do this...

Note from Team BHP Support-Team: Although it's genuinely funny, Team BHP does not allow posts that consist of political-overtones as it's a highly-sensitive topic. Please refrain from posting such images in the future. Thanks!

Last edited by suhaas307 : 27th January 2012 at 01:12.
Anand123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2012, 08:47   #6373
Senior - BHPian
 
_raVan_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Pune
Posts: 1,063
Thanked: 486 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

For the people surviving the sudden cold wave

Name:  395098_10150648149504418_341671804417_12050572_1635865170_n.jpg
Views: 2358
Size:  68.8 KB

Translated: Give me your purse, else I will throw this cold water on you!
_raVan_ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2012, 12:48   #6374
BHPian
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: India
Posts: 589
Thanked: 647 Times
Wink Re: The Official Joke thread

If you marry one woman, she will fight WITH YOU.
But, if you marry 2 women, they will fight FOR YOU!


Choice is yours!


Disclaimer: This is just to add humor in your lives, please don't try this in your real lives.


Cheers!
Irish

Last edited by Irish : 27th January 2012 at 12:51.
Irish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th January 2012, 12:53   #6375
BHPian
 
mitrajdeep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Calcutta
Posts: 136
Thanked: 90 Times
Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Another one from facebook.
Attached Images
 
mitrajdeep is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time for a Holiday Joke? Steeroid Shifting gears 9 24th December 2005 20:51
A Nelson joke Dippy Shifting gears 6 8th September 2004 23:12


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 14:37.

Copyright 2000 - 2017, Team-BHP.com
Proudly powered by E2E Networks