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Old 9th February 2012, 11:16   #6511
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Valentine Cards

Girl to Shopkeeper: "Bhaiya Valentine card hai jisme likha ho- 'YOU ARE ONLY MY 1ST & LAST LOVE...?'
Shopkeeper: "Ha hai."
Girl : "Thik hai...20 de do"

English Translation

Girl to Shopkeeper: "Do you have Valentine card which has the message- 'YOU ARE ONLY MY 1ST & LAST LOVE...?'
Shopkeeper: "Yes, we have."
Girl : "Okay. Give me 20 please."



Bags of Girls and Boys



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Very TRUE!

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Cheers!
Irish

Last edited by Irish : 9th February 2012 at 11:26.
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Old 9th February 2012, 11:17   #6512
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How to kill a woman?

give her ARMANI dress
DIAMOND jewellery
MAC cosmetics
LOUIS VUITTON bag
GUCCI shoes
n lock her in a room without mirror

TADAP TADAP KE MAR JAYEGI
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Old 9th February 2012, 12:28   #6513
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Two Ladies Fighting For A Seat In A Bus.
Bus Conductor: "The older one should sit here."
Both looked at each other and the seat remained empty.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


American: "Hamare paas MADONA, JULIA, BRITNEY jaise Item BOMB hai…. tumhare paas kya hai?"
Indian: "Hamare paas IMRAN HASMI jaise BOMB DEFUSER hai !!"

English Translation

American: "We have Item BOMBS like MADONA, JULIA, BRITNEY. What do you have?"
Indian: "We have got BOMB DEFUSER like IMRAN HASHMI !!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Chai wala: "Bholi si surat, Ankho me masti, door khadi sharmaye... HAY HAAYE !"
Girl replied: "Kaali si surat, Haath me ketli, Door khada chillaye... CHAY CHAYE !!"

MODS: These are the lyrics of a Hindi song. It won't be joke, if translated in english.


Cheers!
Irish
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Old 9th February 2012, 12:59   #6514
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Go save some money guys!


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Last edited by dhanushs : 9th February 2012 at 13:00.
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Old 9th February 2012, 12:59   #6515
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Probably one of the funniest and smartest Indian print advertisement ever.
Source: Some Wonderful Vintage Ads from India | Facebook
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Old 9th February 2012, 13:34   #6516
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitrajdeep View Post
This is really great. Try it.
This was really amazing....
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Old 9th February 2012, 14:16   #6517
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Extremely serious, yet, funny ad.

FORD IKON 1.8 NXT DIESELPOWERED WITH MOBIL 1 & JBLZOOOOM - Vadodara - Cars - Manjalpur
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Old 9th February 2012, 14:48   #6518
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A man in a book store.

Man: Do You have a book called, "Husband, the master of Wife"?

Sales Girl : Sir, Fantasy and Comic section is on the 1st floor!

Last edited by Scorcher : 9th February 2012 at 14:50.
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Old 9th February 2012, 14:51   #6519
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Quote:
Originally Posted by download2live View Post
Of course its ToI. So take it with a pinch of salt.
Thats true. His constituency didn't have power when all channels were beaming the news. Also the next morning, his supporters bought all the newspapers of all languages meant for his constituency.
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Old 9th February 2012, 15:31   #6520
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere!
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Old 9th February 2012, 15:35   #6521
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All across the kingdom, the news travelled quickly that the
Queen’s bell-ringer, who faithfully served the royal family for
decades, had passed. The Queen made the royal decree that she was
looking for someone to come and take his place.

The next day, a humble peasant was first in the long line of
applicants for the job. “My Queen,” he entreated her, “since I was a
youth, I have always wanted to serve our kingdom and the royal family
in this way. Let me be your bell-ringer, and I will serve in earnest
all the days of my life.”

The Queen appreciated the peasant’s words, but was puzzled. “My
humble servant, I have but one question: how can you serve the kingdom
as the royal bell-ringer? You don’t have any arms!”

The peasant smiled and said simply, “Take me to the tower and I
will show you.”

The Queen, her entourage, and the peasant climbed the steps of
the bell tower until they reached the top. The peasant looked over his
shoulder at the queen, “Behold!” And with that, the peasant ran to the
far side of the room, spun around and ran directly at the bell. Faster
and faster he ran then leapt, flew through the air, and–WHAM!–hit the
bell full-force with his face.

Stunned, the Queen hesitated. But, when she heard the bell peal
as never before, she told the peasant, “the position is yours.”

Weeks went by as the peasant served faithfully and punctually,
and always in the same way: he would run across the room, spin around,
charge directly at the bell, leap, and–WHAM!–hit the bell full-force
with his face.

Until, that is, one fateful morning when the peasant woke up
late. Certain he could still make it in time, he ran from his common
home, tore across the kingdom, scrambled up the tower, across the
room, spun, leapt and…missed the bell entirely! He instead flew across
the room, out the nearby window and plummeted a thousand feet to his
death.

Having heard the commotion, the castle guards ran upstairs to
find the empty room. They looked out the window to find a crowd
gathering around the peasant’s body. The one guard looks at each other
and says, “My God–that poor man! Have you any idea who he is?”

The other:

(wait for it!)

“I don’t know, but his face rings a bell.”
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Old 9th February 2012, 16:27   #6522
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Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what are you doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without you?"

Wife: "you idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!
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Old 9th February 2012, 16:48   #6523
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluevolt View Post
Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what are you doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without you?"

Wife: "you idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!
Sorry to break your bubble buddy but for "dying" the hair; it would be dyeing the hair.

Technically speaking, the husband ain't at fault for being happy

Joke cancel.
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Old 9th February 2012, 17:08   #6524
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Happy dog.. or practicing Yoga?
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Old 9th February 2012, 19:09   #6525
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Man sitting at the Airport lounge for his flight.

Announcement1: Passengers of Flight no AXY1 are requested to proceed to gate no. 2 for security check.

The man starts proceeding towards gate 2.

Announcement2: A slight changed for Passengers of Flight no AXY1 . They are now requested to proceed to gate no. 6 for security check. Inconvenience regretted.

Since gate 6 was at the other end of the Airport the man turned back and started heading towards gate 6.

Announcement3 (10 mins after announcement 2) : Attention Passengers of Flight no AXY1 . You are requested to proceed to gate no. 2 for security check as per the initial announcement. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Man turns around again , angry and irritated and then starts moving towards gate 2.

As he starts nearing gate 2 another announcement comes up:

"A big thanks you to all the passengers of Flight no AXY1 for participating in the physical fitness program organized by the airlines"
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