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Old 25th February 2012, 17:24   #6706
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

The difference between boys and girls
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Old 25th February 2012, 18:14   #6707
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Hahaha. So true, right?

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Old 25th February 2012, 20:22   #6708
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Cool Re: The Official Joke thread

A man goes to library and asks for a book: "Psycho The Rapist"

Librarian searches for half an hour and comes back, slaps him and says "You Stupid! It's Psychotherapist !!"

Cheers!
Irish

Last edited by Irish : 25th February 2012 at 20:25.
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Old 25th February 2012, 22:38   #6709
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.




Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
HIM:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, receipt, and card
5. Leave

HER:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because she's too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it
9. Enter PIN number
10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.
11. Hit "cancel"
12. Re-enter correct PIN number
12a. Hit "cancel"
12b. Call husband to get correct PIN number
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check makeup
26. Start pulling away
27. STOP
28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and receipt
31. Get back in car
32. Put card in wallet
33. Put receipt in checkbook
34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook
36. Check makeup
37. Put car in gear, reverse
38. Put car in drive
39. Drive away from machine
40. Travel 3 miles
41. Release parking brake
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Old 25th February 2012, 23:03   #6710
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Cool Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Patriot_Vishwas View Post
HIM:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, receipt, and card
5. Leave

HER:
1. Pull up to ATM
41. Release parking brake
CONDORED! CONDORED! CONDORED! CONDORED!

It has been CONORED 4 Times because the same joke has been posted 4 times on this thread. Seems like this is ONE OF the MOST favourite and Popular joke among TeamBHPians.


Page 23
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post106905 (The Official Joke thread)

Page 31
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post120013 (The Official Joke thread)

Page 86
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post250832 (The Official Joke thread)

Page 352
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post2531024 (The Official Joke thread)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Patriot_Vishwas View Post
Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Partially CONDORED!!

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post306161 (The Official Joke thread)


Cheers!
Irish
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Old 26th February 2012, 14:31   #6711
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Smile Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish View Post
A man goes to library and asks for a book: "Psycho The Rapist"

Librarian searches for half an hour and comes back, slaps him and says "You Stupid! It's Psychotherapist !!"
On similar lines, here's another one.

A man goes to library and asks for a book entitled : "Under the Bridge with Dick and Harry."

After a lot of thinking and trying to find out what the book is about, the librarian figures out that it is : "Unabridged Dictionary."
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Old 26th February 2012, 15:39   #6712
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjumrani View Post
I'm sure everyone knows what this is about :P

Courtesy: Facebook
Condord - http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post2691562 (The Official Joke thread)
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Old 26th February 2012, 15:50   #6713
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A must read for techies!
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Thank god its Solitare!!..
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Old 26th February 2012, 16:01   #6714
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish View Post
It's Psychotherapist !!
This is no joke, about a kilometer from my place, there lives a Psychotherapist and she had a signage near the gate as doctors would have, but the words are separated by the bolts that hold the sign and it reads, PSYCHO◦THE◦RAPIST

Shall try and post a pic asap
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Old 26th February 2012, 16:37   #6715
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorcher
This is no joke, about a kilometer from my place, there lives a Psychotherapist and she had a signage near the gate as doctors would have, but the words are separated by the bolts that hold the sign and it reads, PSYCHO◦THE◦RAPIST

Shall try and post a pic asap
Am not gonna believe this unless you post the pic.
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Old 26th February 2012, 20:02   #6716
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Malinga's Action Decoded !
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Old 26th February 2012, 21:38   #6717
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Specially for Team-BHP Admin and Mods

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Old 26th February 2012, 23:01   #6718
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How true is that Hilarious
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Old 27th February 2012, 00:14   #6719
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Patriot_Vishwas View Post
HIM:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, receipt, and card
5. Leave

HER:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish View Post
CONDORED! CONDORED! CONDORED! CONDORED!

It has been CONORED 4 Times because the same joke has been posted 4 times on this thread. Seems like this is ONE OF the MOST favourite and Popular joke among TeamBHPians.

I remember reading this in my school magazine around 10 years back!! Was thinking about those good old days and feel so happy now. Thank You.

Last edited by Anand123 : 27th February 2012 at 00:15.
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Old 27th February 2012, 00:36   #6720
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluevolt
Specially for Team-BHP Admin and Mods
Now you're just plain pushing your luck! This post could have serious repercussions
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