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Old 13th March 2012, 20:38   #6871
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Last minute copying....
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Old 13th March 2012, 22:08   #6872
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Santa at Microsoft for an Interview:

Interviewer: Which are the 4 versions of Java?

Santa: Mar Java, Mit Java, Lut Java, te Sadke Java !!!!=))

Interviewer Attempted Suicide!
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Old 13th March 2012, 22:37   #6873
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At Madame Tussauds, Anil Kapoor's statue will be first made.. and then waxed
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Old 13th March 2012, 23:38   #6874
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Steve Jobs always tried hard to explain to people that iPill is not an Apple product!
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Old 14th March 2012, 08:55   #6875
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Joke 1:
Electricity in TN

Joke 2:
The recently formed government in TN leap-frogged everyone including global giants in the race to cut down emissions and heat. This is now the most environmental friendly state in the world. Reasons are attributed to the conservative use of electricity. Electricity is never used for upto 10 hours a day in villages and upto 2 hours a day in the cities. Every single institution supported this cause including hospitals and schools.
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Old 14th March 2012, 09:27   #6876
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Rowan Atkinson on the track with his liter-class sooper bike

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Old 14th March 2012, 10:08   #6877
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A funny spoof of conversation between big names in F1 after recent Montoya's crash!

Freak crash ends Daytona 500 as Monotya crashes into jet dryer truck - The F1 Slate

Quote:
Freak crash ends Daytona 500 as Monotya crashes into jet dryer truck
NASCAR's jewel-in-the-crown event came to a premature conclusion following a bizarre accident involving Juan Pablo Montoya. The rain-delayed event was cut short by 40 laps after the Colombian crashed into a Jet Truck used to clear debris from the track surface. Nobody was hurt in the incident. Montoya said, "I didn't think about the truck, I thought I'm actually hitting the jet and it's not going to be fun".
Jerome d'Ambrosio : I was confused there for a minute Fernando, I thought it said a freak crashed into a truck, I think I get it now, it was a freaky crash.
Fernando Alonso : No Ambrosia, you were right the first time. Well burger boy, you surpassed yourself this time, blowing up a safety vehicle when you had 2.5 miles of track to avoid it.
Juan Pablo Montoya : Man, the car steered so bad I was bummed, I was tight on the low dude, then got loose to the wide.
Fernando Alonso : I have no idea what you're talking about you cabbage-brained cretin, but please feel free to continue explaining how you tried to recreate the Hindenburg disaster.
Juan Pablo Montoya : Total wipeout into the plane on the truck thing man, I nearly got burned so bad like we didded barbeque the chicken wings on our trailer.
Michael Schumacher : Congratulations on ending the most prestigious "race" of the year and ruining everyone's night Montoya. You must be about as popular as Gary Glitter at a school playground.
Juan Pablo Montoya : I run good as I can but this be making a real bad for the fans. The worstest thing is I almost done broke my ****ing head.
Fernando Alonso : Thank god for the safety of modern NASCARs, wiped out a jet engine, they should probably start shipping those things out to Iraq.
Juan Pablo Montoya : The team do built my car so big so I can wreck it awesome, gotta speak a gratitude to my Target-Cottonelle-sponsored-Earnhardt-Ganassi-Racing-Chevrolet-Car 42 crew.
Fernando Alonso : I love NASCAR-english, can't string two sensible words together and yet total eloquence when it comes to sponsors.


Michael Schumacher : Perhaps I'm missing something, and far be it from me to question the intelligence of the NASCAR officials, but where is the logic in having a bomb on wheels operating as a safety vehicle?
Jackie Stewart : There is indeed a serious safety compromise apparent here in the necessity to achieve an optimally clean track surface to accommodate the peculiar characteristics of oval racing, while being obliged to furnish the equipment required to achieve this cleanliness with an inherently dangerous substance, in itself capable of initiating a disaster should a chain of events conspire to compromise it's integrity.
Michael Schumacher : How did you ever work as a commentator in America? By the way I heard you're looking for work in the States yourself Rubens, I may have just the thing for you.
Rubens Barrichello : Well Michael, given I am still so full of energy and enthusiasm, in addition to being experienced and a nice guy, the Americans would love me. I feel I owe it to them to race.
Michael Schumacher : Problem solved, it's called Jet Dryer Truck racing, if you win you're a hero, if you crash you explode, real Hollywood. I'm hoping you'll be a big hit, literally.


David Coulthard : Cool, I guess Juan will get to go on Air Crash Investigation now Martin. I'd love to get on telly.
Martin Brundle : You work for the BBC David, it's your job to be on television. And no, the crash happened at Daytona Speedway, he collided with a Jet Truck.
David Coulthard : I see, is that like an Air Bus?
Martin Brundle : Christ, it's simple David, a Jet Truck is a ground vehicle to dry the track in NASCAR and an Airbus is an actual aeroplane people fly in.
David Coulthard : My favourite aeroplane movie is Top Gun, that was definitely Cole Trickle's best film after he retired from NASCAR.
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Old 14th March 2012, 11:08   #6878
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WARNING: Not a joke but extremely cool! 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 =
12,345,678,987,654,321

--------

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

--------

The "Will be ready in 5 mins" of a woman is the same -- as The "Will
be home in 5 mins
" Of a man..

--------

The police sent me a picture of my car speeding, therefore, I sent them a
picture of my cheque...

Last edited by speed kills : 14th March 2012 at 11:34.
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Old 14th March 2012, 13:52   #6879
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Try go no metry...

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___________________________________

Good day
is not created by God,
not designed by your parents,
not prepared by you..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Good day is
created
only by
the
britannia biscuit company. TinTin

_________________________________________________

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Size:  73.9 KB

_______________________________________________

Q: How do you know when a Girl is going to say something intelligent?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A: When she starts her sentence with,
"My Boyfriend told me".

Last edited by bluevolt : 14th March 2012 at 13:57.
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Old 14th March 2012, 14:07   #6880
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How we think rest of the world is !!!

How Americans think about rest of the world!!!
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Old 14th March 2012, 14:58   #6881
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Quote:
Originally Posted by speed kills View Post
WARNING: Not a joke but extremely cool! 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 =
12,345,678,987,654,321

--------
...
OT, but this is true for entire series containing only 1 as the digit. For example,
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
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Old 14th March 2012, 16:21   #6882
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Boy doing *pushups*

Boy: One, Two, Three..

~ A Girl Passes~

Boy: 82, 83, 84, 85...

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Old 14th March 2012, 17:55   #6883
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I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was “Hi Jack”, but very loud.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500 year old statue you have broken.
Santa: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”
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Old 14th March 2012, 17:57   #6884
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Mod Note : Please use the EDIT or MULTI-QUOTE buttons instead of typing one post after another!

A guy was driving from Bombay to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery along the old road. The inevitable happens and when he reached the mountains his car breaks down – he’s stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and rainy. And pretty soon he got wet and Shivering. The night rolled on and no car passed by.

Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It slowed and then stops next to him – without thinking the guy opened the door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leaned forward to thank the person who had saved him. He realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!

Even though there’s no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming. Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life.

He hasn’t come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel! The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.

Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights. It’s a small town.

He stumbles into a restuarant, and asks for a drink, and breaks down. Then he starts talking about the horrible experience he’s just been through.

There is dead silence in the restuarant when he stops talking ….. . . . .

……and that’s when Santa and Banta walk in. Santa points and says ‘LOOK BANTA – THAT'S THE IDIOT WHO GOT INTO OUR CAR WHEN WE WERE PUSHING IT !'

santa-agar main nariyal k ped par chad jaau to engineering colleg ki ladkiyan dikh jayengi
banta- fir hath chod dena to medical college ki
bhi dikh jayengi

( Santa - If i climb up that coconut tree, i would be able to see the engineering college girls !

Banta - If you lose your grip after that , you will see the medical college girls too !! )

----------------------------------------------

Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Santa: BA

Professor:For sodium?
Santa: NA

Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Santa: BANANA !

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Height of technical overdose.

A computer software engineer was falling from roof of a building,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and shouting F1, F1, F1, Instead of help, help, help!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Fact about women:

They can see a hair of a girl on their husband's coat from 20 meters,


but can't see a pillar from 2 meters while parking a car . . . :

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Once a boy was smoking at the Airport

A Girl asked :- How many cigarettes do you smoke in a day ?

Boy :- Why ?

Girl - If you would have saved the amount, you have spend on the cigarettes till date , the Red Mercedes over there could have been yours !

Boy - Do you smoke ?

Girl - Nope !

Boy - Then , is that red Mercedes yours ?

Girl - Nope !

Boy - Thanks for the Advice , by the way , that red Mercedes is mine !!!

Moral -- Too much lecture could lead to embarrassment !

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently China airports were closed due to heavy fog. Later it was discovered that Mr.Rajnikanth was smoking in India!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
When do earthquakes occur? When Mr.Rajnikanth's mobile is on vibration mode!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked,”Why are you crying?”

The first one replied, “I came here for blood test.”

Second one asked, “So, are you afraid?”



First one replied, “No, not that during the blood test they cut my finger.”

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, “Why are you crying?”

The other replied, “I have come for my urine test.”!

Last edited by GTO : 15th March 2012 at 17:25. Reason: Please use the EDIT or MULTI-QUOTE buttons instead of typing one post after another!
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Old 14th March 2012, 18:54   #6885
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Got these pics from a friend's profile in Facebook.
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