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Old 31st March 2012, 19:27   #6991
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish View Post
Just searched for the news in Google and found these results:

Attachment 909287

One link advises about Acquittal whereas another site is giving 5 years in prison to the same person for the same offense.

God only knows the truth!

Cheers!
Irish
Aquitted from Murder charges, sentenced for kidnapping and other atrocities
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Old 31st March 2012, 22:07   #6992
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Not a joke but worth posting (if not done earlier)
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Old 1st April 2012, 19:15   #6993
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Some more funny pics:
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Old 2nd April 2012, 10:06   #6994
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

I can testify.
I saw wrath y'day, and the 1st one makes NO sense!!
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Old 3rd April 2012, 10:40   #6995
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lot of posts on indian traffic, here is one on US traffic --

How To Drive In Jersey

Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive effectively in NJ: A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, including knowing where you are going.

For those of you who live in Jersey or have lived there, these things may come as no surprise. For those who haven't traveled there before, Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid,,,, Be Very Afraid.

1. You must first learn to pronounce the cities' name correctly: it is Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark. Also, Trenton is not pronounced Tren-ton, it is Trent-in.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy.." (Just ask Jon Corzine, the former Governor of NJ)

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second; However, in Monmouth and Burlington counties, SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey ... Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. MapQuest does NOT work here - none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time - just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
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Old 4th April 2012, 14:31   #6996
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

^^^ This pretty much is the scene in India except the honking. These days when I drive on the OMR in Chennai, I dread approaching Sholinganallur signal on OMR from any direction during the peak hours.
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Old 4th April 2012, 15:02   #6997
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Arrow Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by saurabhdadhichi View Post
Most effective method for Birth control ( courtesy FB)
There's a better one.

CROSSED LEGS.

===
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Old 4th April 2012, 17:53   #6998
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Q: How can you tell that an elephant is in the bathtub with you?
A: By the smell of peanuts on its breath.
------------------------
Q: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your refrigerator/ice box?
A: By the footprints in the butter/cheesecake/cream cheese.
and
-----------------------
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to build a new fence.
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Old 4th April 2012, 17:59   #6999
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Cool Re: The Official Joke thread

Position of a husband is like a Split A.C.

- No matter how loud he is outside, but inside the house, he is designed to remain silent, cool and controlled by remote.


Cheers!
Irish
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Old 4th April 2012, 19:12   #7000
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Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One–but the light bulb has to really want to change.

_____________________________
elephants !!!!

Q: What do elephants have that nothing else has?
A: Baby elephants.
Q: What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: A mouse going on vacation.
Q: What is brown, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: A mouse coming back from vacation.
Q: What has eight legs, two trunks, four eyes, and two tails?
A: Two elephants
_____________________________


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

This joke has been certified as World's funniest joke - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Last edited by Kool_Kid : 4th April 2012 at 19:19.
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Old 4th April 2012, 19:43   #7001
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It happens in India, I am not sure how they managed it
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Old 4th April 2012, 20:21   #7002
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

^^

That is what happen when overtaking goes wrong on a two lane road! :-))))
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Old 4th April 2012, 22:47   #7003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mayankk View Post
I can testify.
I saw wrath y'day, and the 1st one makes NO sense!!
However, the 1st one is the only sensible movie amongst the three! True story.

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Old 5th April 2012, 15:13   #7004
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Got this image in a forwarded mail
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Old 5th April 2012, 17:47   #7005
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

A typical scene in hostel. Picture from my friend's FB profile.


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