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Old 10th January 2013, 10:57   #7621
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Originally Posted by Warwithwheels View Post
Hi Arch-Angel.... Thanks for the tip off.

But this post out here was on a lighter vien. Cheers!
My god, i got the joke after reading it twice. Nice one :P.

Here is one i kind of liked

A very well versed surgeon felt that he had enough of patching people up and was inspired by the mechanics who serviced vehicles for a living.He then decided to attend an automobile maintenance course and he worked hard at it and learnt all the tricks of the trade that the instructor had been teaching and went through all detail like a fine-toothed comb.
After the course was completed , the attendees were informed that a grading exam would be held to test their proficiency and they would be rated based on their marks on 100.
On the day of the exam , each of the attendees received a car and was asked to fix it. The surgeon went to work fixing the vehicle and one could feel the tension building up as all the attendees were sweating it out , each trying to better their colleague.
After the time for the exam elapsed , everyone was sweating profusely and awaited their results with bated breath. The marks were announced and to everyone's surprise , the surgeon had topped the exam with a score of 200/100 ! Upon further enquiring by the other attendees , the instructor gave the split up.
Perfectly Diagnosing the issue : 50
Fixing the problem : 30
Doing it within time :10
Doing an extremely tidy job : 10
Doing all of the above through the Exhaust pipe of the car : 100

Last edited by moralfibre : 10th January 2013 at 13:02. Reason: Back to back posts.
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Old 10th January 2013, 12:12   #7622
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Originally Posted by Arch-Angel View Post
Here is one i kind of liked
I think he should get more marks if he fixed it while the engine was running
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Old 10th January 2013, 14:56   #7623
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Originally Posted by noopster View Post
...the tagline says it all "Discreet packaging, easy returns". ...
On a more serious note ({}), I can understand the 'Discreet packaging' part of the tagline, but what is the 'easy returns' part referring to ???

Last edited by Blue Thunder : 10th January 2013 at 14:57.
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Old 10th January 2013, 15:24   #7624
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch-Angel View Post
...
Here is one i kind of liked

A very well versed surgeon felt that he had enough of patching people up and was inspired by the mechanics who serviced vehicles for a living.He then decided to attend an automobile maintenance course and ...
Doing an extremely tidy job : 10
Doing all of the above through the Exhaust pipe of the car : 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by selfdrive View Post
I think he should get more marks if he fixed it while the engine was running
I think those 2 are different versions of the same joke. In one version the doctor is a gynac and the punchline is as what Arch-Angel has told.

In another, the doctor is a heart-surgeon and then selfdrive's punchline makes sense.

Enjoy! Keep them coming!

Last edited by SDP : 10th January 2013 at 15:25.
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Old 10th January 2013, 15:37   #7625
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Originally Posted by SDP View Post
I think those 2 are different versions of the same joke. In one version the doctor is a gynac and the punchline is as what Arch-Angel has told.

In another, the doctor is a heart-surgeon and then selfdrive's punchline makes sense.

Enjoy! Keep them coming!

Hi SDP, i think that joke was where a mechanic asks a heart surgeon why he is being paid so much even though both of them do the same fixing thing, to which the surgeon replies "Try to do it when the engine is running" .
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Old 10th January 2013, 16:53   #7626
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Hi SDP, i think that joke was where a mechanic asks a heart surgeon why he is being paid so much even though both of them do the same fixing thing, to which the surgeon replies "Try to do it when the engine is running" .
You are absolutely right! In fact, apparently its a true story.

Quote:
Real story happened with famous Heart Surgeon Lt. Dr. Nitu Mandke. He had done many heart operations.

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute.”

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, “So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ‘em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work?”

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic…..

TRY TO DO IT WHEN THE ENGINE IS RUNNING”.
Source: http://www.jatland.com/forums/showth...nning%E2%80%9D
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Old 10th January 2013, 18:08   #7627
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I know there is recession; didn't know it was this bad...
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Old 11th January 2013, 15:36   #7628
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

From facebook, just for fun

HOW TO KILL A LION
---------------*---------

Manmohan Singh Method:

The lion roars. Stay mute.
The lion roars louder. Stay mute.
Let this happen for infinite times.
Lion dies of frustration.
Theek hai?

Rahul Gandhi Method:

The lion roars.
Ask him to join farmville 2 and offer a cozy hut, daily healthy food, a pink dress with cute decorations every festive season.
Lion dies of shock.

Abhijit Mukherjee Method:

The lion roars.
Call him a painted rat who is not aware of real lionhood.
The lion dies being stuck by intolerable stupidity.

Akbaruddin Owaisi Method:

The lion roars.
Brag that you're such a human who can knock him down in 5secs if the cage is removed.
Lion dies of excessive laughter causing multiple organ failure.

Mohan Bhagwat Method:

The lion roars.
Tell him that lions only roar in jungles, but not in jungles. Ask him to get out of jungle and come to jungle and to learn sanskar.
The lion dies of confusion.

Asaram Bapu Method:

The lion roars.
Tell him 'Hello bhaiya'.
The lion dies of unbearable humiliation and degradation of his species.
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Old 11th January 2013, 16:08   #7629
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Biraj View Post
Asaram Bapu Method:

The lion roars.
Tell him 'Hello bhaiya'.
The lion dies of unbearable humiliation and degradation of his species.
Simply hillarious.
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Old 11th January 2013, 17:31   #7630
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Thunder View Post
On a more serious note ({}), I can understand the 'Discreet packaging' part of the tagline, but what is the 'easy returns' part referring to ???
That had me laughing out loud once I recalled what the original product under discussion was!

I sincerely hope they mean they accept returns only of unopened items
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Old 11th January 2013, 20:38   #7631
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Originally Posted by noopster View Post
On a lighter note, you DO know that people come to Team BHP for everything from medical advice to tips on how to quit smoking, so why should this be any different?
Reminds me of a very old ad in MTV (sometime during the good old late 80s & early 90s) - a guy answers every question in a quiz. Friend asks him - how come?? He answers - I watch MTV

Nowadays my wife asks me how I know something and I answer 'Team-BHP'
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Old 14th January 2013, 10:43   #7632
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Anyone buying a 100k phone? I wonder who are those 81 who bought it?

The Official Joke thread-untitled.jpg
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Old 14th January 2013, 10:46   #7633
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This is so very true...... every male a must read!
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Old 14th January 2013, 18:22   #7634
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^This one had me in splits. Hilarious
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Old 14th January 2013, 20:44   #7635
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Even the best face it

UK Queen's car fails to start after church service

http://www.ndtv.com/article/world/uk...e-otherstories

Wasn't sure where to post it so, posting it here as it did make me smile.
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