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Old 26th February 2013, 13:19   #7696
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Marion: (Tending to an inured and tired Jones) "Indy, you are not the same man I knew ten years ago".

Indiana Jones: "It's not the years,honey; it's the mileage!"

Saw "Raiders of the lost Ark" in HBO last night!

Harrison Ford rocks!

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Old 27th February 2013, 23:27   #7697
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This is not a joke. I saw this in a Tavera. Never seen before.
The Official Joke thread-20032011458.jpg
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Old 28th February 2013, 02:42   #7698
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Talking Re: The Official Joke thread

From Facebook Wall

Name:  del.jpg
Views: 2543
Size:  41.4 KB

Cheers!

Vinu
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Old 28th February 2013, 14:54   #7699
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Mods: I found this funny so posting it in jokes thread, just in case somebody finds informational value in this then it can be moved to the real-estate thread

What all can one do post retirement? If this website and associated reports are to be believed then

Quote:
The Formula One legend, Michael Schumacher, presents Limited Edition condominiums which are not just ultra-luxuriant but also more than perfect in all aspects of living.
Yes, Michael Schumacher is launching residential project in Gurgaon along with a London based developer.

more information here http://schumacherworldtower.com/
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Old 28th February 2013, 15:12   #7700
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by BuildUpGypsy View Post
This is not a joke. I saw this in a Tavera. Never seen before.
Attachment 1056550
It is found on aftermarket plain mirrors. we have one on our SX4.
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Old 1st March 2013, 20:56   #7701
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Quite an interesting charter Found this on a matrimonial site!

The Official Joke thread-capture.png
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Old 1st March 2013, 21:19   #7702
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Originally Posted by car-dent View Post

It is found on aftermarket plain mirrors. we have one on our SX4.
Maybe that's due to the one which used to appear in cars before "objects in mirror are closer than they appear"
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Old 2nd March 2013, 00:02   #7703
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found this on facebook
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Old 2nd March 2013, 09:17   #7704
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^^ I am looking to replace the vanity mirror for the front co-passenger seat (behind the top sun flap) with a mirror which says:


"THE OBJECT IN THE MIRROR IS ACTUALLY FATTER THAN IT APPEARS"


This is to prevent the incessant use of the vanity mirror by my partner while I am driving, and thereby I can avoid getting distracted / having my left side view blocked.

Please help in case there is something available !
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Old 2nd March 2013, 14:18   #7705
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Received this as an email.


TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) What r u doing?
Ans. : Business
Tax :PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) What r u doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) From where r u getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) What r u getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

5) Where u Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

6) Do u have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

7) Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

8) Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

9) r u taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

10) Where r u taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

11) r u going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

12) Have u taken or given any Services?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

13) How come u got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

14) Do u have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

15) To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

16) Have u purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

17) How u Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

18) Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

19) Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

20) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!
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Old 2nd March 2013, 16:50   #7706
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richie4u View Post
Received this as an email.


TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) What r u doing?
Ans. : Business
Tax :PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
.
.
.
20) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!
If the answer to the first question is...

1) What are you doing?
Ans: I am a politician.
Tax: Heh, heh, sorry to bother you. Next!
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Old 2nd March 2013, 21:01   #7707
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

Not sure if this has been put up earlier
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Old 8th March 2013, 13:28   #7708
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

I think the pic would speak for itself
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Old 8th March 2013, 13:54   #7709
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorcher View Post
I think the pic would speak for itself
And you did not take note of it while creating your handle in 2009
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Old 8th March 2013, 14:11   #7710
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorcher View Post
I think the pic would speak for itself
what are you upset about? You got followers
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