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Old 4th April 2014, 11:25   #8236
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Originally Posted by amitoj View Post
I am sure all the "experts" will find this very real-like
This one is for Behram Dhabar saab! He's always been the engineer in the midst of the number crunchers!
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Old 4th April 2014, 19:31   #8237
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This. is. Awesome.

The difference between Men and Women.
I never knew someone could portray me so well in such nice language!

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.


Note from Support: Source - The Difference Between Men And Women - Dave Barry

Last edited by aah78 : 4th April 2014 at 19:53. Reason: Source link added.
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Old 4th April 2014, 20:59   #8238
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harneet.S View Post
This. is. Awesome.

The difference between Men and Women.

...............................

And that's the difference between men and women.


[/i]Note from Support: Source - The Difference Between Men And Women - Dave Barry
Nice one Harneet ! I saw this on FB today and was planning to re-post it here, but you beat me to it !

(PS: From the way Fred thinks, I suspect he's a BHPian !)

Cheers !
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Old 4th April 2014, 22:03   #8239
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harneet.S View Post
The difference between Men and Women.
On a light hearted note, came across this. Pretty apt

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Old 4th April 2014, 23:21   #8240
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Originally Posted by Ironhide View Post
Nice one Harneet ! I saw this on FB today and was planning to re-post it here, but you beat me to it !

(PS: From the way Fred thinks, I suspect he's a BHPian !)

Cheers !
I sourced it from FB too; I just had to post that he thinks like a BHPian but you beat me to it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheel View Post
On a light hearted note, came across this. Pretty apt
Cardinal point right there LOL
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Old 5th April 2014, 00:08   #8241
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Originally Posted by Arch-Angel View Post
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/hatchb...uld-i-buy.html

Thank me after you have wiped all the coffee from your keyboard .

My dear goodness, this is a real GEM and to think that it was hidden away in one corner of the forum. Thank you Arch Angel for the link

This one deserves it own sweet spot on the forum.
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Old 5th April 2014, 11:31   #8242
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Another perspective!
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Old 9th April 2014, 10:52   #8243
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Default Re: The Official Joke thread

The 'dangling participle' in this video posted by Samurai reminded me of this scene from the movie Oscar (3:18 onwards)

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post3408784 (A YetiGuide® : How To Post In Proper English)

One of the fun farcical comedies
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Old 10th April 2014, 00:39   #8244
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So, not a bull this time around?


Source 9gag
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Old 10th April 2014, 10:13   #8245
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Hope this qualifies and is not inappropriate
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Old 11th April 2014, 02:00   #8246
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This one is hilarious!

Name:  Body weight.jpg
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Size:  48.4 KB

Might as well go the whole hog!
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Old 12th April 2014, 16:40   #8247
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Anyone interested in 2.5V Fiesta?
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Old 14th April 2014, 20:44   #8248
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Beat this:

Name:  SBI atm.jpg
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(20 characters)
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Old 15th April 2014, 08:44   #8249
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Beat this:

Attachment 1230207

(20 characters)
Tailor-Made ATM to fit Customer Needs.
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Old 15th April 2014, 09:17   #8250
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Originally Posted by Soumyajit9 View Post
Tailor-Made ATM to fit Customer Needs.
Win-Win. Full-time tailor cum Security guard !! Good idea so that people are productive and not just sitting idle guading the ATM.
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