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Old 22nd April 2015, 04:35   #8881
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remember this while in an auto : )
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Old 22nd April 2015, 09:54   #8882
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And that's how it is done !!

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Live Car Birth !!!

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Old 22nd April 2015, 17:43   #8883
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THAT's one big pile of dead snails!
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Old 22nd April 2015, 21:27   #8884
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A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes………..
Wife: Is that batsman Bret Lee
Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.
Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.
Husband: He does not have an actor brother
Wife: What about Bruce Lee
Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian
Wife: Ok. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.
Husband: No. It is called action replay.
Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta
Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter.
Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It’s a free hit.
Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a ‘free’ hit?
Wife: Now whom is he saying ‘Hi’ to?
Husband: He is signaling a ‘Bye’.
Wife: Why is he saying ‘Bye’. Is the game over?
Wife: How many runs to win?
Husband: 72 in 36 balls
Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball
Husband turns off the TV, fed up.
Wife turns it on and watches ‘Saraswasti Chandra’
Husband: Who is this Saraswati Chandra?
Wife: Don’t you dare disturb me.

Womens' Era carried this one

The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss.
Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use home phone, I use my work phone.
Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my companies phone
Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home phone.
All of them shocked and together looked at the maid who's patiently listening to them.
Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones. What's the Big deal??

Teacher: 5 - 5 = how much?
Sudent is quiet…..
Teacher tries again: agar tere paas 5 idli hai aur main tere 5 idli le lu, tere paas kya bachega?
Student: sambar aur chutney

Patni. : Mera gaana shuru hote hi aap turant balcony me jakar kyu khade hote ho..?

Pati. : Taki padosiyonko ye galatfahmi na ho ki mai kahi tumhara gala naa daba raha hun...
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Last edited by Samurai : 23rd April 2015 at 00:42. Reason: back-to-back posts
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Old 23rd April 2015, 13:52   #8885
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vinay kamath View Post
remember this while in an auto : )
Good one, even though if you look close you can find that it is clearly a photoshop job.
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Old 23rd April 2015, 14:02   #8886
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vinay kamath View Post
remember this while in an auto : )
This was the first one which did doing rounds on Facebook, Twitter etc.:

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Posted on the forums before IIRC.
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Old 24th April 2015, 21:18   #8887
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car guys vs non car guys
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Old 27th April 2015, 07:28   #8888
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Hey folks,
a very simple way to become aware
if an earthquake begins to occur,
specially at night when u are sleeping.
Do set this up near ur bed.
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Old 27th April 2015, 07:50   #8889
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vinay kamath View Post
Hey folks,
a very simple way to become aware
if an earthquake begins to occur,
specially at night when u are sleeping.
Do set this up near ur bed.
So, what's funny about this post? Why do you think it needs to be in the joke thread?
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Old 27th April 2015, 20:54   #8890
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humour helps tide over difficult days
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Old 27th April 2015, 22:19   #8891
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Originally Posted by bullrun87 View Post
car guys vs non car guys
Good line, Good line! Rev matching aaahh!! And the parallel parking section was also true! Related to everything, except the singing part and tunnel revving

-Bhargav
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Old 28th April 2015, 11:01   #8892
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From an watsapp fwd
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Old 28th April 2015, 18:30   #8893
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mazda4life View Post
From an watsapp fwd

I've tried this myself. Trust me, it doesn't help
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Old 28th April 2015, 20:51   #8894
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IronH4WK View Post

I've tried this myself. Trust me, it doesn't help
Sensible hat on:
Cut the onions while holding them underwater in a big pan. No more tears.
Off.

By the by, wasnt this originally from an Indian "jugaad " joke from whatsapp? Auntyji is online!!
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Old 28th April 2015, 21:12   #8895
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A Lizard found in Mid-day meal in school in China.
.
.
.
.
15 children injured while fighting for it.

-----------------------------------


Tourist: What's your name?

Shop Owner: Moshe Dayan

Tourist: But you don't look Jewish. You look Chinese.

Shop Owner: Yes, you're right.

Tourist: Then how did you ever get a name like Moshe Dayan?

Shop Owner: It's like this.

Years ago, when i came to America, I was standing in line at the immigration documentation centre.

The man in front of me was a Jewish man from Germany.

The lady at the counter looked at him and said, "What is your name?"

He said, "Moshe Dayan."

Then she looked at me and said, "What is your name?"

I said, " Sam Ting."

----------------------------------------------


In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns.

One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, "So how is your strange business going?"

"What do you mean strange?"

"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"

"So?"

"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?"

"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun."
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