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Old 16th February 2006, 15:16   #946
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Talking The "precocious" Indian kid !

It was the first day of school and a new student named
Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American
history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me
Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for
Chandrashekhar,
who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the
People,
for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"
Again, no response
except from Chandrashekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
said Chandrashekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should
be
ashamed. Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country,
knows more
about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Chandrashekhar put his hand up. "General Custer,
1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna
puke."
The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said
that?"
Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush Senior to the
Japanese Prime
Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck
this!"
Chandrashekhari jumps out of his chair waving his hand
and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica
Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You
little ****. If
you say anything else, I'll kill you." Chandrashekhar
frantically yells
at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy
2001."
The teacher fainted.
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the
floor,
someone said, "Oh ****, we're f**ked!" and
Chandrashekhar said quietly,"George Bush, Iraq, 2004."
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Last edited by turbofreak : 16th February 2006 at 15:17.
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Old 16th February 2006, 15:18   #947
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[FONT=System] [/FONT]Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street, then a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved - that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton. "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, Little Johnny in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he speaks: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says Little Johnny, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss"
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Old 16th February 2006, 17:25   #948
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I was on my friends 2002 busa like a year back . We stopped at a signal on the western express highway and there are these 2 guys on a pulsar rite next to us on the signal and they start lookin at the bike . The guy takes off his helmet and asks my friend - KITNE KA MODIFICATION KIYA !!!! lol and then just as the signal starts my friend is liek 7 LAKS (SAATH LAKH ) and zooms away !!!!! lol Imagine what must have that guy gone thru .
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Old 16th February 2006, 21:33   #949
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Some Desi Jokes Plz Guys !!
Mumbai ke Bhai logon : Post some "maaf PJ's" Plz !!
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:22   #950
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1. SSC + HSC + BTech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT

2. An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.

3. One Chinese gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since 1896

4. Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.

5. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park.

6. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = a 4 minute song
in Hindi movie.

7. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own
production company = Kajol

8. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favorite serials.

9. Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR.

10. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan - Talent = Abhishek Bachchan

11. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan

12. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda

13. 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan

14. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay Dutt

15. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sun! ny Deol

16. One engagement + Two weddings + Three wedding songs + Four hundred
Relatives + A house bigger than Buckingham Palace = One sooraj Barjataya
Film

17. Software Engineer + No Work = Forwards
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:28   #951
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OVERLOADED ????
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:31   #952
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:31   #953
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:33   #954
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:34   #955
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The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.

'How much does it cost to have an obituary printed'? asked miser Santa Singh.

'It's 50 Rupees a word, sir,' the clerk replied politely.

'Fine,' said Santa Singh after a moment. 'Okay then, write this down: 'Banta - dead'.'

'That's all?' asked the clerk disbelievingly.

'That's it.'

'I'm sorry sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum.'

'Yes, you should've,' snapped the Santa. Now let me think a minute... okay, here goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale.'
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:37   #956
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:39   #957
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A man died and went to into the skies. Yamraj met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, 'Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you - we've looked at your life, and your really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?'

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, 'Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of goons. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the gang. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!'

'I'm impressed,' Yamraj responded, 'When did this happen?'

'About two minutes ago,' came the reply.
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:47   #958
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Old 17th February 2006, 09:52   #959
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A lion held a huge party at his place ,He invited only his fellow lions.The
lions were dancing when a mouse also came a joined in.
The lion asked the mouse why he entered the party when the other species
were not invited.
The mouse said 'Shaadi se pehle main bhi sher tha'


Once a girl was drinking coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink
and took it out from the coke.
The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died. The baby fly opened it's eyes
looked at the girl and said ,'maaa!'.

The girl asked the baby fly,'main tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tu mujhe kyon
maa bulati hai?'
The fly replied,'kyon kai maine tumhari coke se janam liya hai.'

Once it so happened in a flight that, James Bond was sitting besides a Telugu guy Both were traveling to US.
Telugu Guy: Hello May I know your name please?
James Bond: I am Bond... James Bond....... and you?
Telugu Guy: I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai ... Laxminarayana
Siva Venkata Sai... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...
Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Sitaramanjaneyula
Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Bulusupalli
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...
Bond faints!!!!
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Old 17th February 2006, 13:02   #960
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1. What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?
2. What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?
3. What can you find in a mans pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?
4. What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?
5. Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t and one of which is a word for a woman?
6. What does a dog do that you can step into?
7. What four-letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you cant get one you can use your hands?
8. What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
9. What four-letter word ends in it and is found on the bottom of birdcages?
10. What is it that all men have one of; its longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesnt use his; and a man gives it to his wife after theyre married?





Answers:
1. talk
2. legs
3. a $20 bill
4. firetruck
5. bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt
6. pants
7. fork
8. Almond Joy candy bar
9. grit
10. surname
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