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Old 17th March 2006, 09:44   #1036
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Please don't confuse urself by reading this 'confusing' conversation, in a
confused mood.......Read at ur leisure...

Telephone conversation of William Knott and Mr Watt.

Knott: "Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.
Watt : "Watt."
Knott: "What is your name, please?"
Watt : "Watt's my name."
Knott: "That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
Watt : "That's what I told you. Watt's my name."

A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"
Knott: "No, this is Knott."
Watt : "Please tell me your name."
Knott: "Will Knott."

YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED,
READ
THE
REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...

Watt : " Why not?"
Knott: " Huh? What do you mean why not?"
Watt : " Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
Knott: " But I told you my name!"
Watt : "Didn't you say you will not?"
Knott: " Not not, knott, Will Knott!"
Watt : "That's what I mean."
Knott: "So you know my name."
Watt : "Of course not!"
Knott: " Good. So now, what is yours?"
Watt : "Watt. Yours?"
Knott: " Your name!"
Watt : "Watt's my name."
Knott: "How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"
Watt : "Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and
you
have not even told me yours yet."
Knott: " You have been patient, what about me?"
Watt : " I have told you my name so many times and it is u who have not
told me yours
yet."
Knott: " No it is u who haven't told your name!"
Watt : "Of course not!"
Knott: " See, you even know my name!"
Watt : " Of course not!"
Knott: " Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"
Watt : " Because I don't."
[Pause]

Knott: " What is your name?"
Watt : " See, you know my name!"
Knott: " Of course not!"
Watt : " Then why do you keep asking Watt is your name?"
Knott: " To find out your name!"
Watt : " But you already know it!"
Knott: " What?"
Watt : "See, and you know mine!"
Knott: " Of course not!"NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE
OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME,
BUT
THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THEOTHER'S NAME.

Knott: " Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what
will
be your answer?"
Watt : "Watt's my name."
Knott: " No, no, give me only one word."
Watt : " Watt"
Knott: " Your name!"
Watt : " Right!"
[Pause before it hits him]

Knott: " Oh, Wright!"
Watt : " Yeah!"
Knott: " So why didn't you say it before?"
Watt : " I told you so many times!"
Knott: " You never said Wright before"
Watt : " Of course I did."
Knott: " Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"
Watt : " I do not."
Knott: " Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."
Watt : " I do not!"
Knott: " Good!"

[Pause before it hits him]
Watt : " Oh, Guud!"
Knott: " Good."
Watt : " No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"
Knott: " No, it's Knott!"
Watt : " Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."
Knott: " Yes Wright."
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Old 17th March 2006, 12:33   #1037
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Default bush v/s chimp

Sorry for the size....you cant make out if its smaller than this


Last edited by binz : 17th March 2006 at 12:36.
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Old 19th March 2006, 22:01   #1038
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Default Full Forms Of Companies!!!!!!!

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

6. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

7. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

8. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

9. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

10. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

11. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

12. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

13. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

14. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

15. DELL : Deplorable Equipment & lackluster

16. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

17. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India.

18. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

19. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.

20.WINDOWS:Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.

21.MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only
Fools Teenagers

22.MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash If Not The Operating System Hangs
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Old 19th March 2006, 22:05   #1039
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Quote:
Originally Posted by binz
Sorry for the size....you cant make out if its smaller than this

Isnt this from www.smirkingchimp.com ? Please post credits to the original website too.
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Old 20th March 2006, 18:01   #1040
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u must have read this before , but still i thought iwould put it here.

Dear Friends,

Enjoy the Mumbai Isshtyle of conversation.....


Sophisticated Meaning InBombay(Language)


1. There's a minor problem Arre yaar, "Waanda"ho gaya

2. There's a big problem Arre yaar, "Zol"ho gaya

3. There's a huge problem..(unsolvable) Arre yaar, "Raada" ho gaya

4. You'll be surprised . Ekdam "Hill" jayega tu

5. I am going out of this place Chal apun "Kaltii" marta hai.

6. Don't make a fool of others Dekh , tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko

7. Just get out of here, you oversmart fool!! Chal e Shaaane, "Hawa" aan de

8. I am not a stupid out here Apun kya "ALIBAUG" se na! hi aaya

9. There's some misunderstanding Arre kuch "Galat Faimili" ho gayi

10. Do u drink daily? Tu kya roz "FULL TO" hota hai?

11. See, You are afraid.. Dekh , teri to "FAT" gayi

12. Shall I just bash u? A Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ?

13. Just take him into a secret place Use jara "Khopche" me leke ja

14. O .. What a beautiful lady !! Kya "Zakaas Item" hai yaar!!

15. What a sensuouslady!! Kya "Raapchik Maal / Piece" hai yaar!!

16. Don't just bluff....OK? A Jyaada "RAAG" mat de..

17. Ya..she is staring at u.. buddy!!! Kya sahi "LINE" deti hai "Bhiduu"!!

18. Don't take much tension.. Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya??

19. Your clothes are very awkward!! Kya "ZAGMAG / DHINKCHAAK" pehna tune?

20. I don't care about it much..!! Abe yaar , "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"

21. Please don't overbore me.... Jyaada "PAKAA" mat be tu

22. All this must be done without anyone's notice Sab kaam "SUUMDI" me hona chahiye...kya?


Tek Kear,
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Old 20th March 2006, 18:11   #1041
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This would be well suited for Indian economy and viable to anyone.
Great idea. It does the job.
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Old 20th March 2006, 18:55   #1042
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Hope the guy should get a patent for this... LOL.
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Old 21st March 2006, 00:53   #1043
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Neat man, a pad lock is about 100 bucks where as the electric security system is north of a thousand bucks.

Good find bro

Peace
DNR --- TCR
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Old 21st March 2006, 05:10   #1044
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While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.

Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti.

Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"

Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush? "Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna switch back to paper."
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Old 22nd March 2006, 01:23   #1045
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Dracy an old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more for old times sake.

He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room.

He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, "How am I doing?"

The prostitute replies, "Well old sailor, you're doing about three knots."

"Three knots?" he asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back
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Old 22nd March 2006, 11:52   #1046
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Wink Bihari Hat Seller

A Bihari hat-seller who was passing by a forest
decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole
basket of hats by the side. Afew hours later, he woke up and realized
that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the
tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The
Bihari sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.
While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the
monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, the
monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his
hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he
finally managed to get all his hats back.


Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, also became a
hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same
forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and
left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his
hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grand
father's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys
followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the
monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's
idea, Laloo threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the
monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down
the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and
said.......................

A*S**** You think only you have a grandfather?"

Last edited by BUSA : 22nd March 2006 at 11:53. Reason: Font
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Old 22nd March 2006, 18:36   #1047
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gosh my sotmach is gone
that was great
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Old 22nd March 2006, 18:42   #1048
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Note from Mod

Please do not quote entire joke and give a meaningless reply. It clutters the board.If you must, PM the person who posted the joke. If you have a meaningful, witty reply...no problem






this is great i m going to do this with my voice mail

Last edited by ajmat : 25th March 2006 at 15:20.
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Old 25th March 2006, 02:34   #1049
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Adya,
What u have turned out to be the Dippy of pune .. Looks like the shutterbug in u is coming out... Nice find..
Cheers
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Old 25th March 2006, 12:41   #1050
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Default Sardar and the Monkey

One peaceful summers day a monkey was sitting in a tree minding his own business and taking in the beautiful view from the top of the tree, when suddenly he see's a Sardar climbing up the tree.
The monkey says to the sardar " Oye sardar, why are you climbing up this tree".
The sardar replies " I wanted a nice peaceful spot to eat apples"
The monkey replies "You fool, this is a MANGO TREE", to which the irritated sardar replied "Monkey, I know that, thats why I got the apple's up with me in a bag"
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