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Old 20th June 2006, 13:00   #1261
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India is the only country where people fight to be backward....
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Old 20th June 2006, 13:44   #1262
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay
Thats the first thing that comes in the search result.....!!! ??? Hey JK is it this that you were pointing at or the entire result ???
You always end up getting some ICE thread instead of teh official joke thread!
And in some cases teh official joek theard is teh 3rd or 4th one
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Old 20th June 2006, 14:46   #1263
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A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Lewi's neighborhood. "How often a week do you sleep with your wife?" asked the inquirer.

"Three times," Lewis said without hesitation.

"Hmm, that is once more often than your neighbor," the inquirer said, writing.

"That makes sense," Lewis said, "after all, she is MY wife."
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Old 20th June 2006, 14:49   #1264
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Default What Men are

Men are

1. Men are like ....... Laxatives ..... They irritate the **** out of you.

2. Men are like ....... Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ....... Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like ....... Blenders .... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ..... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like .... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ..... Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ....... Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ...... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ...... Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like .... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ....... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
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Old 20th June 2006, 14:55   #1265
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Personal Ads From Men

* 40-ish... 52 and looking for 25-year-old

* Athletic... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN

* Average-looking... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back

* Educated... Will always treat you like an idiot

* Free Spirit... Sleeps with your sister

* Friendship First... As long as friendship involves nudity

* Fun... Good with a remote and a six-pack

*Huggable... Overweight, more body hair than a bear

* Like to cuddle.... Insecure, overly dependent

* Open-minded... Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested

* Physically fit... I spend a lot of time in front of a mirror admiring myself

* Poet... Has written on a bathroom stall

* Spiritual... Once went to church with my grandmother on Easter Sunday

* Stable... Occasional stalker, but never arrested

* Thoughtful... Says "Please" when demanding a beer!
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Old 20th June 2006, 14:55   #1266
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A man and his wife were lying in bed one night when the hubby noticed that his wife had bought a new book entitled, "What 20 Million Women Want."

He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages, His wife was a little annoyed. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

He calmly replied, "I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right."
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Old 20th June 2006, 21:15   #1267
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Scene: Trench warfare on border, Sikh regiment on one side.
Suddenly Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts!
"Oye Abdul!"
Guy pops up from other trench "Kya hai be" BANG shot dead!
"Oye Karim"
2 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala" BANG BANG both khalaas
"Oye Shahid!"
2 more, BANG-BANG! dono saala khalaas!

The other side get worried, they think saala Sardarji log, when did they get so smart? Decide to try it themselves.
"Abe Gurdev Singh"
Silence!
"Oye Gurdev Singh!!"
Silence!
"O bhai, Gurdev Singh!"
"Oye Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula raha hai re?"
One person from other side gets up, "Main"
BANG!

Last edited by 2L8uLoose : 20th June 2006 at 21:16.
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Old 20th June 2006, 21:22   #1268
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A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell
for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks,
"What do they do here?" He told,"First they put you in an electric
chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then
The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks
out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long
line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil
comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the
same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair
does not work,someone has stolen all the nails from the bed,
and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the
register and then goes to the canteen!!!!!!
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Old 21st June 2006, 23:50   #1269
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Default ...with no offense to my mallu friends

A "Mallu" female ( from the heart of Kerala )

Went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colourful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, His mind was screaming " NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.

So he told her " If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance."
The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK ."

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said :
" I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ...........Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thankyou."

The Manager fainted.......
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Old 22nd June 2006, 11:42   #1270
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Default Fundimental difference between Men and Women

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change & she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.
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Old 22nd June 2006, 12:42   #1271
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VtecDeGr8
A "Mallu" female ( from the heart of Kerala )

Went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colourful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, His mind was screaming " NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.

So he told her " If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance."
The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK ."

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said :
" I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ...........Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thankyou."

The Manager fainted.......

Please read post # 966 on this thread - with reference to the context that you have quoted. Click Here if you're lazy
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Old 22nd June 2006, 12:59   #1272
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Talking

Why did the mallu crosed the rode ?????

SIMBLY

A smart Malayalee?: Debo-nair.
A dynamic Malayalee?: Pheno-Menon.

Last edited by speedsatya : 22nd June 2006 at 13:09.
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Old 22nd June 2006, 13:02   #1273
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Umm... steer, post #966 says "Please do NOT target jokes hinted at a particular religious body." I didnt know Mallu-ism is a religion!!!
hehe... here is something to cheer u up

Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala

Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'



Amitoj

Last edited by amitoj : 22nd June 2006 at 13:13.
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Old 22nd June 2006, 13:20   #1274
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And one more for Steer

Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father." Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Punju?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. "
Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Punju ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Punju ??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."
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Old 22nd June 2006, 13:21   #1275
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amitoj
Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
nice one there Amitoj...
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