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Old 19th April 2008, 15:46   #16
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Originally Posted by vikram18 View Post

Nobody really DOES IT in a park!

please read the sentence in its entirely. there was no insinuation of "doint It" in the sentence anywhere, but to express feelings.


Actually, most often, people who have to resort to cuddling in parks, really have no other place to go; they're POOR! It's hardly likely that they'll ape western culture, not having being exposed, if i may, to any!

Are you living on the same planet as the rest of us??

The others are college kids. I mean. Cummon! Some of us did get lucky, so?


so that justifies their actions?



Go travel to places like Khajuraho, Konark amongst others. We've put sex on the walls for all to see. So much for being conservative!

Have you heard of a concept called evolution? society evolves and so do values. what worked 2000 years ago, does not work today.

do you have any idea how the concept of purdah/ghoonghat amongst Indian women came about, even though Khajurao and its ilk are the complete anti thesis of the same?
my responses inline ........

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WOT? Really? In Hollywood movies, it's probably called hearsay.

"What would you do if" is purely hypothetical and, I believe, not admissible in a court of law.

dont believe everything you see in the movies. Life is very very different.

Also, I am assuming you have a degree in Law as well as practical courtroom experience to make that statement with so much authority.

Last edited by Technocrat : 20th April 2008 at 18:53.
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Old 19th April 2008, 15:53   #17
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Alas, everything we say & believe is true, but what you guys are missing is that we are living in a hypocritic society. Yeah, i have been in that kinda position & felt cheated & disappointed when i was looked down upon.

I'd like to know how should anyone react when a cop or anyone approaches you at that moment.
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Old 19th April 2008, 15:55   #18
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Originally Posted by himanshugoswami View Post
Also, I am assuming you have a degree in Law as well as practical courtroom experience to make that statement with so much authority.
No. Just a brain works fine for me. I believe that "not having knowledge of the law" is also not admissible in a court of law. That is certainly not restricted to lawyers and their ilk. I can't commit murder, say I was unaware that murder is a crime and I'm not a lawyer, so set me free!

Are you living on the same planet as the rest of us??

For someone with 4 exclamation marks as his location, shouldn't I be the one asking that?

Have you heard of a concept called evolution? society evolves and so do values. what worked 2000 years ago, does not work today.

Are you insinuating that Indians, 2000 years ago were pagans and fornicated in the streets?

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Originally Posted by esteem_lover View Post

I'd like to know how should anyone react when a cop or anyone approaches you at that moment.
Like a MAN! At that moment and every other in your life. Protect your woman and see that no harm of any sort comes to her. Simple, even without the benefit of 2000 years of "evolution"

Last edited by Rehaan : 19th April 2008 at 23:23. Reason: Merged. Please use the "multi quote" button in the future.
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:01   #19
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Originally Posted by esteem_lover View Post
I'd like to know how should anyone react when a cop or anyone approaches you at that moment.
Define "the moment"

If you are an adult man, with an adult woman, in the park and kissing at 4 pm in public - I can assure you, no constable will approach or disrespect you.
If you are a young boy, hiding in the bushes with a young girl at 11pm, the cop will approach you to send you home with a fierce reprimand and I support the police in this case.

I'd rather invite my daughters boyfriend home. Take away the damn taboo from the relationship and give them a little privacy and trust. I was once told by someone close that the minute her punk boyfriend was accepted by her parents, she didn't enjoy the relationship with him anymore.
When she knew that her parents would accept her boyfriend with a smile, she started looking for boyfriends that she could take home without any embarassment. I know my 16 year old daughter will not remain a virgin long. If I warn her and prevent her from having sex, she will do it outside, without my knowledge and possibly in a park.

The least I can do for her is to keep her safe from harm.

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 19th April 2008 at 16:08.
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:05   #20
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This is a sensitive topic, and it boils down to your mentality. Someone may be scandalized and shocked if they see a sibling getting cosy in a public place, while others would stay cool about it and take it up with the sibling at a later time. While I have no issues with people holding hands or even getting to 1st base in public, it's when they take it beyond that that I get a little uncomfortable. To many people, PDA is a form of entertainment. They have no qualms acting like vouyers and seeing the act, but they would criticize it in the same breath.
The topic of the thread is very apt... in India, there is really no place for lovers. Only those who have a place to go to can get intimate with their respective partners. And this is a very small minority of the population.
Even if you're making out with your girl in your car in a desolate area, a cop is liable to catch you and make life hell for you. I know, because it happened to me. The thing is, most of the people don't even know if they have broken any laws in doing something like this, and most are too embarrassed to challenge the cops. Since we do have some lawyers on the forum, can one of you please clarify this? Is PDA illegal? Is making out in your car illegal?
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:10   #21
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Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
Define "the moment"

If you are an adult man, with an adult woman, in the park and kissing at 4 pm in public - I can assure you, no constable will approach or disrespect you.
If you are a young boy, hiding in the bushes with a young girl at 11pm, the cop will approach you to send you home with a reprimand and I support the police in this case.
The 'moment' i am talking about is when someone holds their love's hands & sat cuddly with her at 2.00 or 3.00 pm & they were 25.

Define 'young boy' & 'young girl'. Would 18 be young enough ?

And why should anyone, leave alone the cops be bothered with someone sitting in public & holding hands & talking to each other. Do you think the cops/onlookers can differentiate between 'mature' love & 'innocent young' love ?
I definitely do not advocate young/mature folks to be intimate at 11.00 pm in a public place. cerainly no kissing 'cos that leads to other things.

Last edited by esteem_lover : 19th April 2008 at 16:11.
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:12   #22
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I think our biggest problem as a country is that when we see our women in love, we tend to see it as a failure of upbringing, instead of seeing it as a natural course of life.

And that's where all of this comes from.

But like everyone said, this is a sensitive issue. I am sorry if I trod on anyones values.
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Originally Posted by esteem_lover View Post
The 'moment' i am talking about is when someone holds their love's hands & sat cuddly with her at 2.00 or 3.00 pm & they were 25.
Ah so this was pre-independence then.

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 19th April 2008 at 16:13.
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:18   #23
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Ah so this was pre-independence then.
So that means we won our freedom in April 2008. Happy Independence day folks.
Still, I do not see that happening in my village. People are like a billion years behind when it comes to others, but when it comes to them, they are suddenly in 2100. Such hypocrites.
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:23   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
Define "the moment"

If you are an adult man, with an adult woman, in the park and kissing at 4 pm in public - I can assure you, no constable will approach or disrespect you.
If you are a young boy, hiding in the bushes with a young girl at 11pm, the cop will approach you to send you home with a fierce reprimand and I support the police in this case.

I'd rather invite my daughters boyfriend home. Take away the damn taboo from the relationship and give them a little privacy and trust. I was once told by someone close that the minute her punk boyfriend was accepted by her parents, she didn't enjoy the relationship with him anymore.
When she knew that her parents would accept her boyfriend with a smile, she started looking for boyfriends that she could take home without any embarassment. I know my 16 year old daughter will not remain a virgin long. If I warn her and prevent her from having sex, she will do it outside, without my knowledge and possibly in a park.

The least I can do for her is to keep her safe from harm.
I like your point of view. Very similar to mine. In fact, when I had been dating, an uncle of mine had suggested that we visit his house and chat in peace for as long as we liked. I think when a person a lot older than you trusts you at something few others seem prepared to trust, your sense of responsibility grows, and you act accordingly.
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:31   #25
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Well, my friend, all I can say is that you have amazing maturity and self control! Kudos to you. I wonder if that is true for most of us or are you an exception that proves the rule.

I am a lawyer by profession and the first 8-9 years of my professional life were as a criminal lawyer in Delhi, and believe me, i have seen my share of reactions of people when something concerns their own loved ones. people will generally sermonise tillthe cows come home, but put them or their loved ones in a sticky situation, and their true colours come out.
Maturity and self control, lol. Thank you. Thats the first time someone on the forum has said that about me.

What would you do in the event that you spotted a close female relative cuddling with a man in a park? Hypothetically, of course. Because from your reactions, I dont expect it to be a very pretty sight if it happened in reality.

Hence, another hypothetical question: What would your reaction be if you found your brother sitting hand in hand with a man in the park?
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:38   #26
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Maturity and self control, lol. Thank you. Thats the first time someone on the forum has said that about me.

What would you do in the event that you spotted a close female relative cuddling with a man in a park? Hypothetically, of course. Because from your reactions, I dont expect it to be a very pretty sight if it happened in reality.

Hence, another hypothetical question: What would your reaction be if you found your brother sitting hand in hand with a man in the park?
Well, I guess in both situations, i may haveto use my profession to defend myself in a Court of law

Thankfully, i am an only child!!
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Old 19th April 2008, 16:56   #27
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I'd rather invite my daughters boyfriend home. Take away the damn taboo from the relationship and give them a little privacy and trust.

The least I can do for her is to keep her safe from harm.
completely. Kids are not necessarily stupid, girls even less so. Given trust and responsibility, most do behave sensibly. Keeping a child safe from harm would certainly top my list.
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Old 21st April 2008, 11:53   #28
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NC, let alone parks these days waiting outside your friends house in a car with your GF is also a crime. A couple of months back, I was waiting outside a friends house in my car along with my gf (we were waiting for her to get ready and join us for a drive). Two mamu's came on a fiero and the minute they saw us started asking all weird questions. They started speaking about calling up her parents, taking me to the police station etc. Its not like they caught us kissing or any such thing. My swift still doesnt have tints and I was feeding her rice from my lunch box.

I stood my ground and told them waiting here was no crime. Feeding her rice with a spoon was no crime either. I then realized that they were trying to threaten us to make a quick buck and could struce up false allegations against us. When I told him my uncle was ACP and that he wanted to speak to him right away, he said sorry sir and scooted off. I wonder if someone else with no contacts would have done in a case like that. Either they have to bear the torture or slip in a Gandhi.

Sam, I totally agree with you. Fortunately I have parents who don't mind me getting my gf home, cook together, watch a movie together or take my dog out for a walk etc. That way we get to spend time together knowing very well we ought to be on our best behaviour in front of parents. It also gives our parents an opportunity to meet the person we are dating and help in judging if the person is right or wrong. If she/he will be able to adjust with your parents or not.

Personally, I feel there is nothing wrong in holding hands of the one you love in a park/beach/restaurant or resting your head on the others shoulder. Being the conservative lot that we most Indians are, kissing and other expressions of love are best left to behind the 4 walls. As for some, they just love policing others.
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Old 21st April 2008, 11:56   #29
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I was feeding her rice from my lunch box.
FOR SHAME!!
How can you expect the police to be quiet. Did you offer them a spoon of rice from your lunch box as well?

No? Uncouth child. They should have arrested you.
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Old 21st April 2008, 12:02   #30
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Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
FOR SHAME!!
How can you expect the police to be quiet. Did you offer them a spoon of rice from your lunch box as well?

No? Uncouth child. They should have arrested you.
. I would have if he did let me speak a word. I always greet the cops (civil or traffic) with a big smile. I remember once I gave a traffic constable a drop in my car and gave him a chocolate as well. He was quite surprised. Most often than not I have realized that being friendly with them helps. But this one cop started the crap talk right from the moment he saw us.
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