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Old 15th June 2008, 01:13   #1
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Exclamation Are you a Ricer?

What is a Ricer?
Ricers are a bunch of people who decide they are car experts after watching The Fast and the Furious, Pimp My Ride and playing Need For Speed Underground. They then try "SOUPING UP" or "PIMPING" their "RIDES".

This has no relation to making soup which probably tastes nicer than ricers (and is undeniably infinitely more useful) but there might be a connection between SOUP BOXES and the material they use for making body-kits.

(For laughs, someone should introduce ricers to the Gluhareff Pressure Jet Engine. These engines, while the most efficient type of practical jet engine so far developed, have the interesting characteristics that most are home built and that they run on propane, a remarkably volatile fuel. Taking into account the mechanical skills and common sense of the average ricer, the results should be rather entertaining from a safe distance.)
-------------

Are you a Ricer? Take the test!!

Ricers are nothing but bad news and you should avoid meeting one at all costs. However, there is something much worse than meeting a Ricer, actually being a Ricer. To help you find out if you are a Ricer and therefore should see a physiologist or (preferably) leap of the nearest cliff, here is a handy Test:-

1. What is the best modification you can do to your Honda Civic?

a) Buy a sound system.

b) Get wheel mods’ such as spinners, chromes, or wheels that are 4 times bigger then they should be.

c) Buy a more powerful engine.

d) Sell the car, and use that money plus what you were going to spend on the modification to buy a better car.

e) Fart can.

f) buy a wing with LEDs

Answer: In this case, the most right answer is d, because there is no point in investing 12 thousand dollars in a 3 thousand dollar car, when you could just sell the car and spend 15 thousand dollars on a better car. C is the second most right answer, because it is something that will actually considerably change the performance from the 90hp POS it was. All other answers are wrong Ricer answers, with F being the worst.


2. What are the best wheels you can get?

a) Spinners.

b) Chromes.

c) Chrome spinners.

d) Wheels with only inch thick tires.

Answer: If you answered this question you are a ricer.


3. How loud should your music be when you are driving?

a) Loud enough to hear it.

b) Loud enough so people outside the car can hear it.

c) Loud enough so you can’t hear the engine.

d) Loud enough so you can’t hear people honking their horns and screaming at you to turn down the music, and then their heads explode from the deafening noise.

Answer: In a ranking from most Rice to least Rice, it goes d, c, b, a.


4. How do you know how to modify your car?

a) You are a mechanic.

b) You have seen a couple of episodes of “Pimp My Ride”.

c) You sought professional advice.

d) You have a friend who is a mechanic and guides you every step of the way.

Answer: Isn’t it obvious? Well for a Ricer no, so the Ricer answer is b.


5. Where should you race?

a) On a race track.

b) On a legally designated street circuit.

c) On an illegally designated street circuit.

d) Aimlessly hooning around your suburb not going anywhere in particular, and just causing danger/annoyance to the public.

Answer: D is 100% ricer. A and B are where real racers go, with C being where real racers will sometimes show up just to beat the crap out of Ricers.


6. Why do you put visual modifications on your car?

a) To make it look cool.

b) To make it faster.

c) So you can be in with the cool crowd.

d) Because “Need for Speed Underground” and “The Fast and the Furious” tell you too.

f) It's not all about looks! Body kit add at least 200 bhp to the car.

Answer: Another trick question, all these answers make you a Ricer.


7. How do you drift a car through a corner?

a) Enter the corner at high speed, then without slowing down, turn in such a way that the weight of the car is thrown sideways.

b) Enter the corner at high speed, and then apply the foot break to shift the center of gravity of the car to the front, and then turn to slide out the back wheels.

c) Pull on the hand break, turn and hope for the best.

d) During a corner, accelerate extra hard to spin the back wheels and slide out the back.

Answer: Another trick question as all the answers are actually right. A Ricer does not know how to drift. However, C while still being right, is the lamest way to drift.


8. When confronted by a street race you KNOW you cannot win, what do you do?

a) Race and accept defeat normally

b) You cannot lose. You have an 81 civic with 89" plastic hubcaps and a 4 foot spoiler. THATS LIKE +8000hp!

c) Cap dat foo

d) Talk about your "Mad" speed skill and attempt intimidation

Answer The only incorrect answers are B and D. A is the Ideal answer and C is acceptible.


Score: If you answered wrong on 1 or 2 of the questions, you are in immediate danger of being a ricer. If you got more then 4 wrong, please go outside and shoot yourself. If you got them all wrong, there is no need to shoot yourself, as you will be killed by a real car enthusiast in the near future.
---------------- :P
Cred: Uncyclopedia,

Last edited by Rehaan : 16th June 2008 at 12:24. Reason: Language edited.
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Old 16th June 2008, 22:17   #2
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LOL Insane ! test! Although the part about swapping a civic engine not being good enough isnt correct for our standards. rest all in all this has just what we need to spot the difference.
Oh and you forgot one more question:
You have to choose for an appropriate aesthetic mod that serves purpose:

a) under body glow

b) Mesh grill & bits

c) Body kit and spoiler.

d) Hood scoop

e) Decals.

(note indian conditions)



If its A,B and C then its ricer.
D: would not be if its positioned where it should be.
E: Indicates 5 bhp per sticker LOL! (RICER!!!!)

Last edited by nitroxx : 16th June 2008 at 22:21.
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Old 16th June 2008, 22:25   #3
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Oh man!! I am safe. I am not a ricer.
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Old 16th June 2008, 23:20   #4
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Everyone is a little bit ricer inside so do i am and i love eating Rice hehehehehe.
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Old 16th June 2008, 23:47   #5
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I was thinking while reading the subject line that if Amien is asking who all here are rice eaters ;-)
And thank God that I'm not a ricer but btw there will lot of ICE'ers here ;-)
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Old 17th June 2008, 01:19   #6
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Okay , Ricers are mostly idiots, but this questionaire is actually never going to get a person to know whether he is a ricer or not, reading the options anyone who does not want to be branded a loser will end up not being a ricer. so, there is no shock value. Questionaire needs to be revised.
Nice and Interesting thread though.
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Old 18th June 2008, 01:17   #7
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NO never.

I hate that bunch.
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Old 18th June 2008, 16:37   #8
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@nitroxxx
Yes, i totally agree with you, also thats an awesome question, editing the first post and adding it ..

Aside from these, you might also be a Ricer if ,

... you find yourself using the excuse 'yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, dude after EVERY race

... you drive a 4 door 'type R' (actually JDM civics come in 4-door type R)

... your gumby pants make it hard to shift (lol)

... more than 20 of your mods involve shielding what is actually underneath

... you have stickers that even most asians don't get

... you have stickers for parts you dont have

... you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'

... your car has so much camber it can drive on its side

... when you drive by, WWII veterans, Soldiers who've seen action in the Kargil war and survivers of the Japanese atomic bombings run for shelter

... your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter

... you have 'powered by' anything anywhere on a car made by the engine manufacturer

... birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees (rofl)

... you sell crack for the image...not the money

... you will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs

... you can't race uphills

... you brag to have nitrous and have a 14.50 dial in

... your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars

... you spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid for your car

... you go to a performance shop and immediately start rummaging through the decal bin

... your tach is bigger than your head

... you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic

... you refuse to race because it's a "show car"

... your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip

... at Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking *** on the autocross.

... you have more lights on the front of your car than the INS Vikrant

... you brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.

... your exhaust sounds like a dying Moose

... your bright green Rs. 11k air filter is bigger than your engine.

... your have a fire extiguisher in your car where everyone can see it and for people like to me wish your car actually did catch on fire

... you shop for parts at malls

... you have a type-R badge on your Sumo/Sierra

... you have altezza lights and your car is neither and original toyo altezza, is300, or RX300

... You have spinner hub-caps
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Old 27th April 2009, 19:59   #9
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Sirs I have taken the test and I am a true RICER can I join your club? Also I can share my stickers with you. And please tell me where I can get the above parts.

Was hoping to see a post like this hahahaha Good job macha

blueraven316: are you serious?
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Old 27th April 2009, 22:58   #10
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I am not a ricer, here in india you can be either a true car enthusiast with a sleeper or a ricer with his over stickered car.

Why cant we have both?
A car that is not only fast but also looks great?
If we do have them, then what is it a Ricer or a sleeper?
Its just a question.
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Old 27th April 2009, 23:02   #11
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trust me , you can be a ricer in india. sufficient proof exists in the weird and wacky mod jobs thread. and then some in the 'Swindled by "Tuners"" category, like nivit bhasin.
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Old 28th April 2009, 00:54   #12
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here's another bunch that should give ricers a good run for their money:
Urban Dictionary: chav
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Old 28th April 2009, 03:08   #13
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If you are living in India - Ricer isnt the appropriate word to use.

The derogatory word Ricer was made by white americans against Asian kids who drove their bumble bee muffler sounding Hondas, as against to american gas guzzlers.

Since Rice is also staple food of India (which you eat almost everyday), calling your own countrymen a "ricer" is like slapping on your own face.


Maybe we can call them "Pasta" - fair enough!

You indians dont have to always copy-cat the other civilization without knowing reasoning behind it (if you know what i mean hehe)


My car is clean, i got factory alloy wheels, therefore i am not a Pasta!





Or, if you dont consider India as part of "Asia", you can continue using the term Ricer.
But i know, you consider India as part of Asia.....
But i also know that rest of the Asia does not consider India as part of Asia....
And i also know that this offends you a lot = LOLz
Therefore it is better for you to use the word "Pasta". LOLz

Last edited by aerohit : 28th April 2009 at 03:17.
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Old 28th April 2009, 03:32   #14
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I am usually pushed by many friends of mine who love decals and they say you dont even have one on your car even though you've got premium brands like OZ, Rockford Fosqate and Brembo and so on in there. I used to love decals I just dont now, unless I am down at a drag race. Removable vinyls for me over there. I guess all of us are ricers at speedrun. Loved your post about the exhausts!
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Old 28th April 2009, 06:25   #15
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@aerohit: Thanks for the update. Somehow "Pasta" doesn't have the kick of Ricer. Try something else.
For the record copying another "civilization" may not be a bad idea.
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