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Old 20th October 2010, 16:34   #361
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I am going to put my kid in playschool from next month end. But if it's only 3 days, I won't worry about it that much. They'd take around a week to get used to the concept of school. I know it'd be hard for you (I've a 2 yr old son myself) and it's difficult to ignore these symptoms. I've had someone tell me that putting your child in school is at times more traumatic for parents than for the child. Seeing one's child cry his lungs out would be super traumatic for the parents !!
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Old 20th October 2010, 16:49   #362
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Congratulations to you too bro. Enjoy the nightouts
I got her to Bangalore last Friday from her grand parents place. She is exactly 3 months old now, she weighs 6 kilos and by Almighty's grace, she is in best of her health. I am enjoying each moment that I spend with her, she is so cute and adorable! And guess what? no night outs for me!!
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Old 20th October 2010, 17:24   #363
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I am going to put my kid in playschool from next month end.
I guess your Son is only 2 years right? My sincere request would be is please avoid; let him enjoy sometime at home as he'll be spending a decade & half+ for schooling & college, so let him enjoy being at home as much as possible. Just an opinion though.

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But if it's only 3 days, I won't worry about it that much.
No he made a big mess even today it seems.
Actually the staffs at school say that, he cries for only sometime after we leaving him in school. After that, when we go to pick him up, he cries a bit.

Message for Ghodlur - This afternoon he mumbled in his noon nap that he didn't want to be left at school. So my assumption is right that he has got school O phobia

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Originally Posted by kalpeshc View Post
I've had someone tell me that putting your child in school is at times more traumatic for parents than for the child. Seeing one's child cry his lungs out would be super traumatic for the parents !!
Actually...No; its not his cries is making me feel; I'm more worried as how he's going to get over his phobia on school & what I should be doing to improvise his situation.

So far he hasn't been mumbling in sleep; so its a deep rotten fear of school that's making him scream & this is precisely my worries.

Pls can someone guide me here or should I take some professional help of a doctor?

PS - Was that comment of yours for me @Kalpesh?
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Old 20th October 2010, 18:59   #364
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Making kids talk about their experiences at school can help them get over fear of school.

Always talk to them after they / you return from school / job. Make them talk about their day at school. What if they are beign bullied? (particularly true for boys and / or kids in 1st std and above).

Also, visiting them in school, and making sure that they see you within teh school premises, talking to teachers, etc. will help get rid of this fear.
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Old 20th October 2010, 19:16   #365
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Making kids talk about their experiences at school can help them get over fear of school.
Hahaha... @BSD, did you think I didn't do that? Done that too buddy; see my previous post where I mentioned that my son sucessfully learned how to lie.

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Also, visiting them in school, and making sure that they see you within teh school premises, talking to teachers, etc. will help get rid of this fear.
We talk to teachers everyday & they say that he cries only when we leave him & then pick him up from school.

But yes, back of my mind, I have the same feeling too on bullying or may be even worse . Those moronic people don't let us inside the school to see what's happening.
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Old 20th October 2010, 19:42   #366
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aargee, why you are allowing morons to be your kid's gurus? ANy place out of bounds for me is out of bounds for my kids.

Have you consiered getting somebody else to drop him off to play school?

Concenterate on making him talk (instead of giving leads like "did somebody beat you").

This appears to be simply a case of separation pain. Harp on teh relationship between him and his grand parents (they are your / wife's parents, and you are separated from them, etc)

Edit - it may not be bullying, if it is just playschool (sorry that I missed out on this earlier) and teachers are saying the correct thing.

Last edited by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR : 20th October 2010 at 19:44.
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Old 20th October 2010, 19:55   #367
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Hi BHPians,

I have been blessed with a daughter (second one) on 14 Oct 2010. Proud father of two princesses!
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Old 20th October 2010, 19:57   #368
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Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR View Post
aargee, why you are allowing morons to be your kid's gurus? ANy place out of bounds for me is out of bounds for my kids.
Hmmm...there're lots to say, but keeping it simple, I just changed my attitude, so just trying to be a good young man ; let me take sometime & then take the freedom, besides the HM was our previous neighbour

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Have you consiered getting somebody else to drop him off to play school?
Day 1 - Myself & Wifey
Day 2 onwards - Wifey only
My Mother cannot control him, so we don'tve any other choice

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Concenterate on making him talk (instead of giving leads like "did somebody beat you").
yeah yeah, done that

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Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR View Post
This appears to be simply a case of separation pain. Harp on teh relationship between him and his grand parents (they are your / wife's parents, and you are separated from them, etc)
Could be & if it were the case, I'm the happiest soul; my only concern is I don't know what's going inside; I wouldn't mind even if a fellow student is bullying him. I would only consider this as an opportunity for my Son to learn how to tackle such situation. I would talk to my Son & get frequent updates rather than intervening the situation unless its absolute emergency.

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Edit - it may not be bullying, if it is just playschool (sorry that I missed out on this earlier) and teachers are saying the correct thing.
Could be; I'm worried as I don't know what's going inside. Trust me, this could be even a normal situation that every child undergoes, yet, I'm little worried.

Wifey said that he'd his snacks first time in last 2 days which I take as a positive sign. Last 2 days, he bought them home untouched. Let me give another week before invading the school, what do you think?

PS - My Mother said, I never cried a single day from day 1 when I started from LKG.

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I have been blessed with a daughter (second one) on 14 Oct 2010. Proud father of two princesses!
CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS @TBull. Hope Mother & the new born are doing fine. How much did she weigh? Decided any name for the young Libran yet?

Last edited by aargee : 20th October 2010 at 20:00.
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Old 20th October 2010, 20:06   #369
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aargee, why dont you talk to some of the parents and see if they are also facing the same issue. Sometimes their kids may share something useful to them which may come in handy for you to understand the situation.

My daughter does not share much with us after the school sometimes, but my friend's daughter will share something about what happened at school and vice versa..
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Old 20th October 2010, 20:30   #370
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My daughter does not share much with us...vice versa..
Well, my Son does talk to us, but on hearing the word school he goes mad & I wait until he gets nervous & starts saying "I'll go to school tomorrow & not today". That is when I HAVE to open up the topic ; just don't want to spoil his mood!!!

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why dont you talk to some of the parents and see if they are also facing the same issue.
Hmmm...good idea, I'll ask Wifey to do this; we spoke to few of our relatives & understood that one of the kid in our family (distance relative) took about a month to get adjusted in play school.
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Old 21st October 2010, 11:41   #371
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CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS @TBull. Hope Mother & the new born are doing fine. How much did she weigh? Decided any name for the young Libran yet?
Thanks. Yes both fine although delivery was by C-section. She weighed 3.550 kgs.

We want to name her Jigisha.
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Old 22nd October 2010, 08:33   #372
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I guess your Son is only 2 years right? My sincere request would be is please avoid; let him enjoy sometime at home as he'll be spending a decade & half+ for schooling & college, so let him enjoy being at home as much as possible. Just an opinion though
I think it would be a great idea to send your kid to a playgroup coz the sole purpose of the playgroup is not only learning but more imp socializing. Its here that the child starts to overcome his timidness/fright and starts mixing with other children. At home all the child can do is play alone (if only child), watch TV etc. One question though, has your kid started doing school without going to playgroup?

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Message for Ghodlur - This afternoon he mumbled in his noon nap that he didn't want to be left at school. So my assumption is right that he has got school O phobia
Poor chap. One suggestion though, have you tried sending your kid with out the usual school uniform, I mean plain clothes. This will let him feel that he's not going to school.
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Old 22nd October 2010, 10:33   #373
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@aargee - Yes, as @ghodlur put it the idea is to socialize and get him prepared for the schooling. A playgroup (whether in the school itself or otherwise) is strongly recommended as he gets to interact with other kids of his age without parents being around. He gets used to the concept of teachers who are around for supervision.

And yes, the post was for you. I too am worried about it but will have to wait and watch. I too am scared that my kid will NOT handle separation well as he's too used to his mom being around. I think that maybe having grandparents help in a way.
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Old 22nd October 2010, 10:49   #374
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Originally Posted by ghodlur View Post
socializing.
I got your objective even before, but my point was, socializing can be done at appt, neighbours & even at the age of 3. That's all.

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One question though, has your kid started doing school without going to playgroup?
He's in play school; will put him in Lower KG next year

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Poor chap. One suggestion though, have you tried sending your kid with out the usual school uniform, I mean plain clothes.
My Son wasn't afraid of school & infact he couldn't digest the fact that he'll be away from parents in the school. He wasn't even bothered about "C" of crying until he knew this. But wait...the good news is at bottom

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I too am worried about it but will have to wait and watch. I too am scared that my kid will NOT handle separation well as he's too used to his mom being around. I think that maybe having grandparents help in a way.
Sorry to say, but still, Grandparents can never replace parents. My Son is kind of more attached to everyone & more with me. Even before we decided to have a second one, we decided that I'll stay more close to my Son rather than with his Mother & that helped a lot. He stayed with me for over 3 months when my Wife went for delivering our daughter. Not even once, Yes, not even once, he cried asking for his Mother during this 3 months. The point is, planning a separation needs to be done much earlier & I took this very lightly. I hope I'll do something for our daughter before she joins the playschool.

If you don't mind a little OT Kalpesh - never depend anything on your parents. They've raised & you need to be on your own. I don't intent to say dump or anything. But never give the burden of handling your children to them, if they're willing to look after, then its OK, but no pushing. Hope you got the point. Ignore this para completely, if it hurts you in anyway.

Ok, the good news is that, my Son's crying habit has come down & has learned to overcome the fear (or whatever) about school. Last evening report was that he didn't cry much & infact he cries only when we drop him & pick him from school. Good learning experience as a parent

Last edited by aargee : 22nd October 2010 at 11:02.
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Old 22nd October 2010, 13:32   #375
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Thanks. Yes both fine although delivery was by C-section. She weighed 3.550 kgs.

We want to name her Jigisha.
Congrats TBull on becoming the "Father of the Bride(s)".

BTW what does Jigisha mean?
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